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MyFatherIsAKarenCarpenter's Blog



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128.8

Posted by Chad Radwell , 23 March 2017 · 34 views

I weighed myself in the late afternoon and I'm pmsing and somehow still managed to weigh in at my lowest in a long time.  
I tried to celebrate my 1lb loss with 170 extra calories of chipotle seitan but purged it almost immediately. I can't even deal with a few extra calories. I also can't seem to deal with feeling full. Nowadays when I get full my...


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Congratulations

Posted by Chad Radwell , 20 March 2017 · 45 views

You're invisible. But that's what you've wanted. So you don't get to complain. 
Shut up.


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Hiding

Posted by Chad Radwell , 20 March 2017 · 34 views

My husband and daughter went to Comic Con yesterday. She went to her very first movie in a movie theater too. 
I stayed home. 
I could have gone, but just couldn't bring myself to. 
I woke up in the morning. I went back to sleep after a few hours. I saw them off and built a fortress of blankets over my body. I got to finish my tv shows. I t...


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129.8

Posted by Chad Radwell , 18 March 2017 · 53 views

Finally out of the 130's.  
I was feeling great until I went for a haircut this morning. The woman who cuts my hair is so young and pretty and stylish. All the things I'm not. I just feel old and ugly and undeserving of a nice haircut. 
I purged to Ellie Goulding last night. My daughter was asleep on the other side of the house so I relished in...


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122

Posted by Chad Radwell , 12 March 2017 · 35 views

I stepped on the scale today, and to my surprise it read 122.2. Holy crap how the fuck did I lose nearly 10lbs in less than 12 hours?! Was my work finally paying off?! I stood there with my mouth wide open over that thought. 
But I needed to be sure. 
I stepped off and stepped on again. 
132.3 
Just like yesterday.  
Fuck you scale.


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Invisible

Posted by Chad Radwell , 09 March 2017 · 38 views

I wish I was invisible. 
I would wish that I was dead, but I don't have that luxury anymore. 
I have a kid who hates me, but needs me. 
So I just wish I was invisible. 
I pretty much am already.


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131

Posted by Chad Radwell , 07 March 2017 · 40 views

I reached 131lbs this morning. I'm not exactly happy about that considering I hate being 130lbs. 
I haven't purged since my daughter heard me on Saturday. But I've thought about it everytime I put food in my face.  
The local vegan restaurant is having a 4 course comfort food evening on the 25th. My birthday is on the 29th and my first thought w...


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Ulta

Posted by Chad Radwell , 01 March 2017 · 52 views

I dropped, and broke the palette I had been using on my eyebrows, so I had to go to Ulta for more. I always have a hard time matching makeup to my eyebrows so I needed some help from an associate. 
The minute she asked me to sit in the chair I felt awful. I immediately apologized for my appearance. She laughed it off very politely and changed the sub...


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Purging

Posted by Chad Radwell , 28 February 2017 · 48 views

When I was a teenager, my parents were getting a divorce. In order to sell the house, my mom and her family worked tirelessly to fix it up. Everyday after school my grandparents were there helping out. Those days, my grandfather, an off-the-boat Italian for whom food=love, used to stop at Taco Bell and bring home huge piles of food for our little family....


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I Finally Cried

Posted by Chad Radwell , 27 February 2017 · 57 views

I've been on Prozac since November and haven't been able to cry. No matter how terrible I've felt. But today I cried. It was only for a few minutes, and it wasn't very much, but it felt normal.






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