Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


MyFatherIsAKarenCarpenter's Blog



Photo

Binge

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 19 April 2017 · 38 views

After 4 months of low restricting I think I've finally started a small binge. The last 2 days I've managed to eat over 1500 calories, most of that eating is done on a completely full to sick belly.  
I was diagnosed with PMDD a few months back and I believe the binging is due to a particularly nasty cycle this month.  
This morning I had to wake...


Photo

Cracker Jacks

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 19 April 2017 · 34 views

Last night while my husband and daughter were playing in the back yard enjoying the nice weather, I was chewing and spitting Cracker Jacks into the toilet.


Photo

Hungry

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 18 April 2017 · 54 views

I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten in nearly 24 hours. I'm waiting for that 24 hour mark. Then I'm allowed to eat. 
My husband called to me from the top of the stairs today. I had the hardest time climbing them. My vision was fuzzy, my legs weren't working. He laughed and called me "silly." He has no idea. 
I saw my grandma yesterday for the first t...


Photo

Quiet

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 13 April 2017 · 50 views

Nothing is safe anymore. I can eat 4 or 5 things without a problem. I am able to eat a few other things, but it usually comes with a lot of anxiety and I usually end up spitting it all out. 
I haven't purged, so I guess that's good. 
I'm at 124 now. Nearly 30 pounds down. 
I had to buy a bunch of new clothes because everything is too big. E...


Photo

Death

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 05 April 2017 · 70 views

I'm such a bad mom. My husband is better than I am. I'm a bad person. I wonder if my daughter would be better off hearing stories about my life than having me in hers ruining it.


Photo

127.4

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 05 April 2017 · 45 views

I've been at 127.4 for days now. Even after seeing 126 for a fleeting moment last week. I've stopped eating lunch, and only eat a little popcorn in the morning so I don't get sick when I take my vitamins. 
I haven't purged this week. 
I'm so tired. If I'm not working, and my husband is home to look after our daughter, I'm sleeping. He's been cle...


Photo

Egg Part 2

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 02 April 2017 · 46 views

I just can't bring myself to eat anymore of the eggs. My first thought when I woke up this morning was that I needed to punish myself for eating some. I gave it few hours and that idea passed. 
After my walk this morning, I stopped at Whole Foods an picked up some Vegg. It's still one of the foods I'm able to eat, so I may as well just stick with tha...


Photo

Eggs

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 01 April 2017 · 67 views

Except for during my pregnancy, I've been vegan for nearly 10 years.  
Lately while my list of safe foods rapidly dwindles, I'm feeling increasingly more conflicted about food, I've also been working through the idea that I've been using veganism as a way to restrict all this time.  
So in an effort to expand my menu while trying to reduce the s...


Photo

128.8

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 23 March 2017 · 46 views

I weighed myself in the late afternoon and I'm pmsing and somehow still managed to weigh in at my lowest in a long time.  
I tried to celebrate my 1lb loss with 170 extra calories of chipotle seitan but purged it almost immediately. I can't even deal with a few extra calories. I also can't seem to deal with feeling full. Nowadays when I get full my...


Photo

Congratulations

Posted by Sloane Ranger , 20 March 2017 · 61 views

You're invisible. But that's what you've wanted. So you don't get to complain. 
Shut up.






Recent Entries