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UPDATE: uplifting...I've made progress!


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#1 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 02:34 AM

Hello friends,

 

Okay so there's this word that is eight letters long. It starts with an "r" and ends with a "y". I have commitment issues, so I'm not saying that's what I'm doing. I will however say that I have made productive progress, and am working towards it. The idea of the "r" word has become much more alluring and desirable. It seems tangible now, almost within reach. It isn't currently a goal, but it's something I see for myself in the not too distant future.

 

I've noticed that my mindset has changed- immensely- for the better. I used to use b/p'ing as a coping mechanism for everything that I couldn't control around me. It was my way to numb out and desensitize myself. It was the only way that I could make sure that no one could truly hurt me, more than I was hurting myself. It helped solidify and strengthen the wall I built up as a kid, because people always attacked, but never helped. I think I have managed to abolish the emotional correlation that b/p'ing has. I'm not saying I don't miss feeling numb- because I do- only that I no longer feel the need to b/p to alleviate emotions I've always repressed. It sucks. I have cried and yelled and screamed so much lately- more so than I've ever done in the past four years. It's so emotionally taxing, but it's a start. I'm feeling emotions, and allowing myself to continue feeling them. I guess I've learned to tell myself, "It's okay to feel."

 

Also, the frequency of my b/p'ing has decreased substantially. I went from b/p'ing every day multiple times a day to once a day. Then, I went one day without purging. Then two days, then three, and four, and five! This week, I have managed to only purge once. Yesterday I ate breakfast and dinner and even had a snack in between. Today, I did the same. Also, I haven't even weighed myself in about a week. Guess what? I don't even care. Sure it slightly bothers me not knowing where I'm at weight-wise, but it's not driving me bat shit crazy. I've become okay with only weighing once a week. Also, despite all the bullshit going on around me, I haven't let it trigger me or ruin any productive progress I have made.

 

Thanks for reading- just wanted to share!

 

Love,

 

Chameleon Soul

 

 


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#2 Ganja Gremlin

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 04:03 AM

thats awesome to hear! glad you are doing a bit better and making some amazing progress reducing b/ping c:


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Height: 5 '6
Eating Disorder: Anorexia b/p subtype
HW: 156 repulsive pounds ( bmi of 26 i think)
CW: 90.5 pounds :(
BMI: 14.6
LW: 86.8 pounds/bmi 14.0
GW: 85 pounds
UGW: RECOVERY AND SELF ACCEPTANCE AND NOT CARING ABOUT MY GOD DAMN WEIGHT ( to an extent of course, I never wanna get overweight)
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#3 Kodos

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 04:31 AM

You're doing so great! Five whole days without purging is a massive achievement and you should definitely be proud of yourself for it.

 

It sounds like you're on the right track, keep it up :D


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0408caeb-b553-4237-b771-cf7d6df91367_zps

 

5’7 – 170cm

HW: 74.0kg - BMI: 25.6 (2013)

CW: 41.4kg - BMI: 14.3 (28th April 2017)


#4 Unwiselystar

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 05:19 AM

that's great news! am so happy to hear you're doing well. by the way, you are such a gifted writer. you should totally cultivate that in some way.


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#5 taijas

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 06:35 AM

I´m so proud of you, You are doing great stuff. Keep it going, you can beat this shit!


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#6 pinkcotton

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 08:40 AM

It's so wonderful to hear of this lovely progress !!


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Height: 5ft 4in  

HW: 116lbs (2009) LW: 69lbs (2012)

CW:80 lbs 

GW1: 85lbs [14.6] GW2: 80lbs [13.7]  GW3: 75lbs [12.9] UGW: 70lbs [12]

 

CONTROL FREAKS CLUB.

 

       ✢Accountability Thread 

 

 

79 ✢ 78 ✢ 77 ✢ 76 ✢ 75 ✢ 74 ✢ 73 ✢ 72 ✢ 71 

 

 

#7 kfcislove

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 08:44 AM

YOU GO MAN!!

PROUD OF YOU :^D


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5'4 / 116 lbs

 

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#8 leavenworth

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 08:48 AM

aaa thats awesome im so happy for you!! :-)


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height 5'5" 
cw 88 lbs (bmi 14.6)

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#9 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 09:57 AM

thats awesome to hear! glad you are doing a bit better and making some amazing progress reducing b/ping c:

Thanks! :D 


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#10 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 09:58 AM

You're doing so great! Five whole days without purging is a massive achievement and you should definitely be proud of yourself for it.

 

It sounds like you're on the right track, keep it up :D

Thank you!!! :D Haha new PR for me, and I am proud! :)


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                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#11 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:00 AM

that's great news! am so happy to hear you're doing well. by the way, you are such a gifted writer. you should totally cultivate that in some way.

Thanks!!! :D

 

Also, thank you! :D I am currently considering an English major, but am thinking about it before I change my major again. :)


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#12 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:01 AM

I´m so proud of you, You are doing great stuff. Keep it going, you can beat this shit!

Yay!! Thanks!! :D 


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#13 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:01 AM

It's so wonderful to hear of this lovely progress !!

Awww thank you!!! :)


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#14 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:02 AM

YOU GO MAN!!

PROUD OF YOU :^D

Aww thanks!!! :D


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#15 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:03 AM

aaa thats awesome im so happy for you!! :-)

Awww...Thank you!! :) :D


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                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#16 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:10 AM

I'm going to add in a quick interjection amidst all the quoting and lovely comments.

 

I know I've been quoting individually, but thanks guys!! <3 Seriously. All of this support and positive encouragement makes me want to continue on. 

Again, thank you all so much I really appreciate support/advice/encouragement/good thoughts from you all! It means a lot to me. It also reassures me that I'm doing the right thing in choosing to try and be healthy. Maybe I owe it to myself. It's okay.

 

 

---As a side note, nobody feel offended if I don't like one of your posts. Sometimes I get "like-happy" and run out of likes. I love and appreciate EVERYONE'S posts.

    I felt the need to address that.---

 

Again for the fifty gazillionth time, THANK YOU!!! <3


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                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#17 Slipping into perfection

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:11 AM

I'm so happy for you. Keep up the hard work. It is so motivating to hear of someone progressing in the right direction x
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#18 Chameleon Soul

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:15 AM

I'm so happy for you. Keep up the hard work. It is so motivating to hear of someone progressing in the right direction x

Awww thanks!!! :D Also, I'm glad that my post helps in any way, even if it's simply to provide some type of motivation. :)


                                                                                             Height: 5'10"  II  Weight: Still Loading...

                                                                                                           ~Accountability~

                                                                                                            ~Potato Face~

                                                  

                                                                                             

                                           


#19 Slipping into perfection

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:20 AM

Awww thanks!!! :D Also, I'm glad that my post helps in any way, even if it's simply to provide some type of motivation. :)

Make sure you keep us updated with your progress, it would be nice to hear hoe you go with it :)

I'm trying to reduce from bp most of the day to once per day ... I feel like recovery is this mythical thing that will never happen and am just aiming for long term management.

Have you been using any particular techniques or therapies that you would be happy sharing?
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#20 Jess0822

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 10:39 AM

That's a huge step forward. Congratulations. Just remember that this will take time. Don't let any minor setbacks discourage you from moving towards your bigger goal. I have to keeps telling myself this.
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