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The Worst Thing to Happen During a Binge

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#41 Sugared Sushi

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 12:05 AM

For me its actually seeing someone during my binge. I hate people seeing me because I'm sure I look crazed, and I always feel about 200 lbs, not to mention the fact that I'm so ashamed. Almost as if keeping it private is better because I can almost distort my own memory of it somehow

 

so true! 

I also feel greasy?


Dx: Anorexia (restrictive) with occasional phases of AN-b/p, Dx of Schizophrenia, Dx Generalised anxiety
LW: BMI 11.6 (2012 & 2013)
CW: BMI 15.8
HW: BMI 18.5 (recovery & weight restorations)
Last inpatient: January 2016, now attempting to lose all remnants of restoration gain, end weight cycling, stealth it & stay out of hospital.  
 
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#42 Moon ☽ Rabbit

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 03:14 PM

someone watching me binge

like im so absorbed with me eating that i forget my sister is watching me and she makes comments like its because you starve yourself and i feel like she gets satisfaction out of seeing me binge because im so much skinnier than her and she has gained weight over the years due to her bad eating habits, she wants to see me fat and

so does my mom tbh they say how im too skinny but they will once in a blue moon say how envious they are of my body


H: 5'5" | HW: 130 | LW: 99| CW: too fat | GW: 85 | BMI: too fat

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#43 lovecraftian

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 06:06 PM

I eat food off the ground increasingly often.. found a Dove chocolate square the other day, that was a lucky day. I throw away my food in the dumpster so I don't eat it, and twice at least I've rummaged back through it to eat my disposed food... I just did in broad daylight. The food was rotten so I didn't eat it (didn't realize until I bit into it). Two of my neighbors were outside, one from my building who walked right by me picking this food up out of the trash. I doubt I'll hear from my landlord about it, why would I? It's food no one else wants and I disposed of it myself. Trying not to be embarrassed, won't  do it again. Ewwwewew.


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#44 lovecraftian

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 06:10 PM

someone watching me binge

like im so absorbed with me eating that i forget my sister is watching me and she makes comments like its because you starve yourself and i feel like she gets satisfaction out of seeing me binge because im so much skinnier than her and she has gained weight over the years due to her bad eating habits, she wants to see me fat and

so does my mom tbh they say how im too skinny but they will once in a blue moon say how envious they are of my body

Mom and sister jealousy/concern is real. I understand. I won't fuck with mine.

I refuse to eat in front of my dad, I will in front of others but its uncomfortable 

My work crush watched me eat a bunch of cookies one day and he said to me "You know what that's gonna do to your ass?" I took it as a compliment, no idea if it was intended as one.  unrelated he got laid off today ill miss the hell out of him. :'(


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#45 theanorexorcist

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 06:38 PM

lol well, I live with my family in a small house, so it's kinda inevitable that people will see my binges, but god I hate it when people comment, and everyone's usually so mean about it like:

'You're such a pig.'

- my mum

'all you do is eat all day'

- my dad

'this isn't healthy, you're binge eating. That's how people get fat'

- my dad

 

and people complaining about food going missing and blaming me ughhhhhh


standard bmi: 15.2                                                                                                                                                      

new bmi: 15.8

cw: 41kg (my scale is like several kgs out tho)                     

gw: 37kg                                                                                                                           

longest fast: 48 hours

 

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