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What Bulimic thoughts are you having right now?


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#21 CrazyCatLady458

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 08:24 PM

I'm resisting the urge to go get on the scale even though it didn't change from a couple hours ago.
I have no food in my apartment and I am torn between saying "fuck this!" and going and getting binge food or actually grocery shopping.
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#22 persephone13

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 08:51 PM

I work the night shift at a residential house for autistic peeps and I am seriously considering b/p once all clients go to bed. There is plenty of food in the house and I'm the only staff here tonight.
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All along thought I was doing the right thing
Now I'm lying in a pool of my blood
And that's where she found me,
In the cemetery
A smoking gun in my hand

I deserve this anguish on my house...

#23 diamondeyes

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 09:12 PM

I'm tired. I purged for the first time in a few days today and flushed after which I've never really done before..so that along with not being able to go to the gym today I'm trying to restrict for the rest of tonight. Bleh.
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#24 anashreksic

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 09:13 PM

I feel really shaky right now. And I don't know if it's because of a mild anxiety attack or that I was purging all morning.

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#25 Cupcakes&Cigarettes

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 09:30 PM

I wish I could stop thinking about food for just one day, even for a couple hours, that would be fucking lovely
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#26 sandranicolexx

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 09:46 PM

When i get up tmr morning , should i stop binging or should i go to the store and gwt the mac and cheese
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HW: 76,6 kg/ 168.8lbs :angry: (BMI 26,8)

CW:55.8kg/ 120lbs -mia ( BMI 18,8)

 

GW1:72kg/ 158lbs     GW2:70kg/ 154lbs       GW3:66,9kg/ 147lbs       GW4:64,5kg/ 141lbs      GW5: 62kg/ 136lbs     GW6: 59,5kg/130lbs        GW7:57kg/125lbs

 

UGW: happiness

Days without purging:1

 

 Physical Goals

Collarbones 

Skinny Arms

Hip Bones 

Abs(just a bit not really muscular)

Thigh Gap

 

 


#27 mangoswag

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 09:46 PM

Why do I take so many lax? It hurts so bad and I always tell myself not to! I wish there was a fast acting lax, i want it to take  less than an hour, not 12


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#28 rainbow brite

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 10:00 PM

I'm finally glad my partner got a job so I'll have more opportunities and time alone in the apartment to b/p as much as I want, when I want. 

Sometimes I'm sick of her being around all the time because that gets in the way of my b/ps. 

I can't wait to be left alone so could do all that.  But loneliness triggers me to b/p even more, I can't stand to be alone. 

I hate b/ping. 


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#29 Khaleesi of MPA

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 10:10 PM

I want to binge and purge pasta so badly right now, it's unbearable.

I already b/p'ed twice today, what the heck??

Today was supposed to be my first successful day as a vegan.

pASTA AND SAUCE<3333333 thE NEED IS KILLING ME

HONESTLY I JUST WANT TO BINGE AND PURGE IT SO BADLY

honestly if i had to choose one binge food for the rest of my life, it would be pasta and plain spaghetti sauce, man, i love pasta and spaghetti sauce

waIT, NO. I'M FORGETTING ABOUT VELVEETA MAC AND CHEESE (if i were to have a non-vegan binge, ofc!!)

honestly poptarts are amazing but so hard to purge   :(

 

i remember one time, i purged mac and cheese, canned brown beans stuff, and pizza

i have tasted hell


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Somewhere for this, death and guns
We are deaf, we are numb
Free and young and we can feel none of it
Something isn't right, babe
I keep catching little words but the meaning's thin
I'm somewhere outside my life, babe
I keep scratching but somehow I can't get in
 
☼☼☼☼
 
Seven devils all around me
Seven devils in my house
See they were there when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
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#30 c-ae

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 10:11 PM

I'm currently trying to make my throat burn less. Or like my esophagus. Not a thought but a consequence
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#31 Khaleesi of MPA

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 10:22 PM

in the summer, when and if get my job, i'm going to use some (probably all) of my paycheck to buy all kinds of binge foods- i figured i could allow myself 1-5 binge.purge days (vegan or not) every month, still haven't decided if i want it less than 1-5 or if that's a good amount

 

the foods i wanna b/p but i can't bc 1- broke; 2- vegan:

  • papa gino's frIED RAVIOLI (cheese stuffed)
  • a whole pizza from papa gino 's
  • patchwork ice cream
  • velveeta mac & cheese
  • annie's white cheddar mac & cheese
  • celeste pizzas
  • fudge swirl ice cream
  • hershey's cookies & cream chocolat e bars
  • reesee's pb cups
  • brownies
  • choc. chip cookies fresh from the oven
  • gummy bears
  • those chocolate circles w/ white dotty things on them
  • cinnamon + brown sugar poptarts
  • cookies n' cream poptarts
  • choc. fudge poptars 
  • and like 1 billion other things :////

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If you or a friend on MPA is ever feeling down, click this link. Feel free to PM me, too.
 
 
Somewhere for this, death and guns
We are deaf, we are numb
Free and young and we can feel none of it
Something isn't right, babe
I keep catching little words but the meaning's thin
I'm somewhere outside my life, babe
I keep scratching but somehow I can't get in
 
☼☼☼☼
 
Seven devils all around me
Seven devils in my house
See they were there when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
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#32 merathin

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 10:32 PM

Why does god hate me so much. If he doesn't like me he should of never allowed me to exist. He sees everything and the future. When did he decide that I should suffer from an ED and PTSD. Like why. I wish I was dead. I can't kill myself because I have a baby and husband. I want to die. I just turned 24. I feel 50. I might have a hert attack soon. Oh well. I don't wanna die. I love my family. I hate everyone. I love everyone. I ate 15 calories today. I love coke Zero.
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5'4CW-73.3fuck im finally under 80 after 2 years goddamnLW-61lbs and hospitalizedUG-to die love life one day, to be with my family without being moody AF for once due to hangriness
I'm preggo!! So not trying to lose anymore...For now.

1 kilo of human = 2000 calories
70 lbs. = 31.75 kilos
31.75 x 2000 = 63,500 calories

I am 63,500 cals.


not all anorexics hate it.. anorexia isnt such a bad thing unless you make it one..


#33 Pneumothorax

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 12:11 AM

After my mom and nephew go to bed, I can sneak out the backdoor, out the gate, to the gas station and buy a million donuts and zebra cakes then drink the rest of my milk of magnesia.. 

 

But I should not do this because I'm trying hard not to binge. Overeating is fine as long as I don't get too full, but no binging.

 

But food tastes so damn good and having a full stomach feels so damn good.

 

But I'll get fat.

 

But it'll taste good.

 

But I don't need to gain anymore weight. 

 

Butbutbut taste.

 

FINE I'LL CHEW AND SPIT. JFC BODY.


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#34 fiveyears

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 01:39 AM

Had oatmeal for breakfast and now i want to purge. But i also had two cups of coffee and purging that'd be nasty. And i'm trying to convince myself not to go buy binge food today. I need to fast. Also, i'm pretty sure there's still cereal in my nose from last night's purge ugh...


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#35 againandagain

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 06:43 AM

I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING!

 

It feels like trying to hold a god damn monster inside me with just the tips of my fingers arrrgghh.... 

 

Instead I shall sit here and suffer and drink coffee and not move, because if I move I will eat :(


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weight.png
 
 
My lips feel warm to the touch
My words seem so alive
My skin is warm to caress
I'll control and hypnotise

You've taught me to lie
Without a trace
And to kill with no remorse
On the outside I'm the greatest guy
Now I'm dead inside

#36 dx_tx

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 10:47 AM

I cashier at a grocery store. On a regular basis:
"Hi, do you have your card? Coupons? Also I'm going to eat both quarts of ice cream you have there sorry about that. Those m&m cookies too, and Chinese food is buy one get one after nine pm, so I'll take one of those too"

#37 littlejimmykitty

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 11:13 AM

i'm having that feeling where it's like my stomach is being ripped out from laxatives, i swear to never do it again, i do it again. -_-
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#38 error404

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 11:58 AM

i don't want to binge, i don't. but i just found five tea cookies left from yesterday's binge, I've eaten them (ruining my otherwise 'clean' day) and now I want to purge, but I fell like these 5 cookies are not enough to even start me purging so I need to go to sainsbury's and buy a shitload of food that I can finally purge right after. But I so don't want to do that. 


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#39 earthboundmisfit

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 12:16 PM

 

in the summer, when and if get my job, i'm going to use some (probably all) of my paycheck to buy all kinds of binge foods- i figured i could allow myself 1-5 binge days (vegan or not) every month, still haven't decided if i want it less than 1-5 or if that's a good amount

 

the foods i wanna b/p but i can't bc 1- broke; 2- vegan:

  • papa gino's frIED RAVIOLI (cheese stuffed)
  • a whole pizza from papa gino 's
  • patchwork ice cream
  • velveeta mac & cheese
  • annie's white cheddar mac & cheese
  • celeste pizzas
  • fudge swirl ice cream
  • hershey's cookies & cream chocolat e bars
  • reesee's pb cups
  • brownies
  • choc. chip cookies fresh from the oven
  • gummy bears
  • those chocolate circles w/ white dotty things on them
  • cinnamon + brown sugar poptarts
  • cookies n' cream poptarts
  • choc. fudge poptars 
  • and like 1 billion other things :////

 

 

OMG I'm vegan and craving cheeseburgers, pizza, rotisserie chicken, macaroni and cheese...but NO!!!NO!  Be a good girl and don't binge non-vegan.  Hell don't binge at all.  I'm a horrible human being for just thinking about it.


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#40 error404

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Posted 02 May 2015 - 12:21 PM

OMG I'm vegan and craving cheeseburgers, pizza, rotisserie chicken, macaroni and cheese...but NO!!!NO!  Be a good girl and don't binge non-vegan.  Hell don't binge at all.  I'm a horrible human being for just thinking about it.

 

i can be vegan only when I'm not b/p-ing  :( there are simply no satisfying vegan binge foods. vegan pizza? my bank account is against that  :P



 
 
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