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fear foods + food rules

Posted by becomingskinny , 07 January 2019 · 274 views

okay so i don't know what i want to do right now. part of me wants to keep restricting, but another part of me has hope to recover. so i'm stuck in between the two. restricting, but then also challenging myself to eat different foods. and i somehow convinced myself that i wasn't scared of that many foods, and that i wasn't that bad so i could continue wit...


8th october: the beginning of the end

Posted by becomingskinny , 08 October 2018 · 241 views

calories: 1365
would've been 717 , but of course, i had a mini binge, so that's +635 calories calories burnt: 1816
at rest: 1438 kcal
light activity: 274 kcal
sit-ups: 38 kcal
dancing: 66 kcal net calories: -451  notes
this is literally the first time in SO LONG that i've had a fucking deficit. i can do this. i don't need to binge. it'...


back here again, of course.

Posted by becomingskinny , 07 October 2018 · 254 views

SO, i'm back here. again. as usual. i just keep coming back. so i've kept eating like shit since i last updated in june, only i've gotten fatter and i'm actually fucking huge now and i feel so fucking disgusted with my body. like it's not skinny anymore by any means and i feel so fucking gross. i hate walking around in this body. my stomach is huge, my th...


coming to conclusions.

Posted by becomingskinny , 10 June 2018 · 268 views

so. i know that i've gained weight. i know that i've been bingeing. truthfully, i've eaten over 2000 calories most days since like september 2017. as disgusting as that is to admit, it's true. i'm no longer skinny. i have no idea what my weight is right now, but that doesn't matter. all i need to know, is that it's too high . i will lose it. i can't handl...


random june update.

Posted by becomingskinny , 05 June 2018 · 292 views

i just keep bingeing. all the time. for no reason. i'll easily eat close to 3000 calories every day and it's been this way for months . i'm so sick of it. i feel like i can't even restrict anymore. i'm addicted to fucking food. there's no one i can talk to this about. i'm seeing a psychologist, but it's such a joke. the sessions are useless and i feel so...


4+ months later...

Posted by becomingskinny , 23 April 2018 · 344 views

so, mpa, i'm back again. i'm so inconsistent with posting here or logging on here and that's because my ed changes so quickly. i could be restricting one day and bingeing for the next month. it's so bad. i hate it so much. i see a psychologist "for my eating disorder" but she's basically solved those problems as being because of my daddy issues, which is...


sunday 7 january 2018: binge + self-harm relapse.

Posted by becomingskinny , 06 January 2018 · 251 views

10:29am - so today is like russian christmas and my father thought it would be a good idea to go to church for a but (we're not religious but since my grandma passed away, he's been wanting to go to church). when you go to a russian orthodox church, you have to wear a scarf over your head and shoulders to show respect to the church, and when...


saturday 6 january 2018: hot hot hot.

Posted by becomingskinny , 05 January 2018 · 225 views

3:27pm - i just got home from work and i ate some lunch. i was originally going to just have tofu, stir fried vegetables and some sort of carb like my mum made for me, but when i got home my dad had made soup, so i had to have some of that too. ugh. it's so hot today as well. like 41 °C. yuck. work was okay, but i was wearing black jeans and...


friday 5 january 2018: weird thoughts.

Posted by becomingskinny , 04 January 2018 · 224 views

12:08pm - okay, so i'm seriously considering trying a bit of the reese's chocolate peanut butter spread because my mum bought a jar of it. there are wayyyy too many calories in it per serving, and i know i would eat more than a bite regardless of whether or not i liked it. i'm just gonna stay away from it. no point trying it if my mum will nev...


january 4 2018: definitely a relapse.

Posted by becomingskinny , 04 January 2018 · 260 views

7:55pm - so basically, today was a pretty busy day. i did the ballet beautiful inner thigh workout and my usual 200 crunches + thigh stretches + chin stretches. i went to the library and i went to a shopping centre. i had my usual breakfast (133) just after 10am. i had an apple (71) at about 1pm. my mum gave me money to go to the pharmacy and...

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Low-Calorie Food to Try

these are all australian low-calorie snacks + food that i want to try! maybe once i've tried them, i'll add a rating or something to know how i found said food.


savoury snacks
- sunrice rice and corn thin rice cakes
- corn thins multigrain (23 cals/slice)
- corn thins sesame (23 cals/slice)
- corn thins soy and linseed (23 cals/slice)
- corn thins sour cream and chives (29 cals/slice)


- nestle soleil chocolate mousse (69)


savoury bars
- nature valley popcorn peanut and sunflower seed (92)


sweet bars
- feedom berry smoothie crunch (81)
- freedom caramel crunch (85)
- freedom vanilla shake crunch (96)
- kellogg's lcms original (89)
- kellogg's lcms choc chip (91)
- kellogg's lcms kaleidos (91)
- kellogg's lcms golden joys (93)
- kellogg's lcms coco pops with milk (98)
- kellogg's lcms split stix chocolatey (98) - has 2 halves
- kellogg's lcms split stix yoghurty (100) - has 2 halves
- kellogg's nutri-grain (100)
- kellogg's special k biscuit moments strawberry (103) - has 2 in pack
- kellogg's special k biscuit moments chocolate (105) - has 2 in pack
- kellogg's special k chocolatey caramel (89)


- buttercup country split wholemeal (58 cals/slice)


ice cream
- halo top vanilla bean pint (240)
- halo top birthday cake pint (280)
- halo top chocolate pint (280)
- skinny cow double choc/vanilla caramel sundae (120)
- skinny cow vanilla cookies (127 cals)
- skinny cow choc coconut cherry (136)
- skinny cow cheesecake sundae (138)
- skinny cow triple choc sundae (149)
- skinny cow salted caramel pretzel sundae (149)
- peters light & creamy french vanilla (70 cals/2 scoops)
- peters light & creamy classic vanilla (72 cals/2 scoops)
- peters light & creamy choc vanilla swirl (74 cals/2 scoops)
- peters light & creamy cookies and cream (79 cals/2 scoops)
- peters light & creamy classic chocolate (79 cals/2 scoops)
- peters light & creamy raspberry ripple (80 cals/2 scoops)


- la zuppa cup smoked bbq chicken (21)
- la zuppa cup south american chicken and corn (23)
- la zuppa cup chicken and vegetable with rice (23)
- la zuppa cup lentil (26)
- la zuppa cup tom yum (28)
- la zuppa cup vegetable and bean (65)
- la zuppa bowl chicken noodle (101)
- la zuppa bowl pumpkin soup (130)
- la zuppa bowl creamy chicken and vegetable (146)
- la zuppa bowl hearty chicken and wholegrain rice (164)
- la zuppa bowl minestrone (168)
- la zuppa bowl spiced red lentil (172)


- sanitraium weet-bix (107) - 2 biscuits
- kellogg's rice bubbles multigrain shapes (108 cals/30g) -> 1 cup


- sanitarium so good unsweetend almond & coconut milk (43 cals/250ml)
- sanitarium so good unsweetened coconut milk (57 cals/250ml)

Favourite Low-Calorie Food

- kellogg's coco pops chex cereal (111 cals/30g) -> 3/4 cup
- kellogg's coco pops (115 cals/30g) -> 2/3 cup
- kellogg's rice bubbles (134 cals/35g) -> 1 1/4 cup, or 115 cals/30g
- uncle toby's plus antioxidants cereal (143 cals/40g) --> i usually eat 30g for 107 cals
- uncle toby's cheerios (107 cals/30g)


ice cream
- streets paddle pop icy twist (63)
- halo top birthday cake pint (280)


sweet bars
- freedom cocoa crunch bar (96)


sweet snacks
- ovaltine ovalteenies (59 cals)
- cobs lightly salted, slightly sweet popcorn (97 cals/sixth bag)


savoury snacks
- cobs sea salt popcorn (95 cals/quarter bag)
- cobs salt and vinegar popcorn (89 cals/fifth bag)
- cobs smokey bbq popcorn (90 cals/fifth bag)
- corn thins original (23 cals/slice)
- sunrice original thin rice cakes
- sunrice sour cream and chives thin rice cakes
- sunrice tomato and basil thin rice cakes
- sunrice salt and vinegar thin rice cakes
- sakata seaweed rice crackers (94 cals/row)


- sanitarium so good unsweetend almond milk (41 cals/250ml)


drink powder
- akta-vite chocolate (54 cals/15g)