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[i am forcibly removed from a daydream]

Posted by baby scars ♡ , 28 October 2020 · 104 views

idk, maybe i'm delirious bc my head hurts but,,idk lol

 

i never understood those people that could forgive someone they loved no matter what until i was that person. maybe it's just me but i don't think people understand that when you defend that person you're not loving them, and you really couldn't hate them more than in that moment. it's just that the same way if you wait too long opportunities will pass you? maybe if you're with someone too long it ends up the same way sometimes...it doesn't even feel good to say that

 

in other news, i really hate capitalism. i hate working, i hate moving, i hate being around other people, i hate the constant overeating i do in result of all of these things. i think it's such bullshit. when i see how well i was low restricting when i didn't have to work i want to cry. when i look in the mirror i feel like i'm looking at a mauled pig. i think i'm very stagnant(?) right now and it feels like shit. i just want to be small, i want to get into my first choice college, i want to be the me everyone thinks i'm supposed to be when they see me online versus the grotesque bullshit fucking monster i am in real life lol. i want that and then i wanna die and that's it. i don't think it's fair that i have to be here against my will and then be the ugliest thing in the world on top of that lol

 

everything is just very lover dearest





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