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Talking out of my ass



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I'm suffocating or possibly having a heart attack

Posted by mirandamme , 21 July 2021 · 65 views

My chest has been so tight lately. I'm stressed over everything. I have no control. I am falling further down a hole of whatever this is. I need control but to gain control I have to stand up for myself and I am no good at that. My roommate is leaving (honestly thank god) but hasn't paid her share of rent this month. She acts like I don't really exist in...


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Toxicity

Posted by mirandamme , 30 December 2020 · 31 views

Sometimes I feel like I get in these really bad depressive moods. One day I can feel fine and feel like the whole world is on my side, and then one day it's not. I don't know how to control my emotions, I've always struggled with it. I take my antidepressants and I still feel like this. The scary thing too is when I get like this suicide sounds peaceful b...


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Over Emotional or Over Dramatic

Posted by mirandamme , 06 December 2019 · 31 views

Lately everything is going downhill. I’m doing everything right, aren’t I? I’m building my credit score, I’m saving money, I got myself a new doctor and health insurance, I’m taking vitamins. I just feel like everything I do is not good enough. I’m crying over stupid shit that doesn’t matter. I feel like punching someone as soon as they start to annoy me...


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My Brain is being dramatic

Posted by mirandamme , 28 July 2017 · 91 views

Do you ever feel like your world is falling apart around you. All you can do is just sit and watch the destruction. I have now resorted to deadlines for this thing called my life. Oh you can't kill yourself until you've been here, seen this band. Little things to keep me here, but the little things are not working anymore. I've now hit the point of bingin...


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Inevitable phate of my death

Posted by mirandamme , 03 January 2016 · 165 views

I'm done. I'm done with this family. I'm done with being a constant burden on everyone. I'm done with it all. The only time I am at peace is when I sleep. It might be time for me to sleep forever now. No one wants to deal with me. My best friend doesn't want to talk to me, she has already moved on to better people in her life. All I am doing is holding ev...


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Glamorously Constipated

Posted by mirandamme , 03 January 2016 · 166 views

I have been constipated from being dehydrated because I don't drink a lot of water unless I am going to purge. This has been going on a month. My mom told me the reason that I am constipated was because I eat all of this junk food which I do not. Ever since we have moved I have not binged because I am never alone to binge also I have no money to buy binge...


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Sleeping forever

Posted by mirandamme , 02 January 2016 · 216 views

Everyday I wake up and then go back to sleep because I can't be bothered. My parents yell at me for sleeping till after 2:00pm. On a average day for me I will wake up at 10 or 11 then I think do I really want to take on the day. That is it, that's all I have to say to myself and then I'm back to sleeping. If I don't wake up then I don't have to deal with...


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Inside my brain 24/7. A poem that isn't really a poem.

Posted by mirandamme , 02 January 2016 · 162 views

Smile, laugh, act happy.
I'm not happy.
Act it. why?
If you show true emotion you will lose all friends again.
Smile, laugh, act happy.
walk towards the edge of the bridge.
Jump off
Are you happy for real now? Maybe
Gone too far beyond repair.
Smile, laugh, act happy.
I'm killing myself with it.
when will it end.
Smile, laugh, act happy.
what can I do to...


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Self loathing

Posted by mirandamme , 01 January 2016 · 126 views

Yesterday I was playing Cards Against Humanity with my family and my dad had laid down the self loathing card. He didn't what it meant so he asked. I told him that it means that you hate or despise yourself kind of how I feel about myself. Then my mom was acting all surprised that i hated myself. I didn't want to tell her that maybe I wouldn't hate myself...


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New years eve

Posted by mirandamme , 31 December 2015 · 170 views

It is New Years Eve and managed to only have a piece of gum and some water. I already feel guilty because I know how much of a fuck up I am going to be tonight. These holidays piss me off why do they have to have so much food around. Last night wasn't any better I went almost all day without eating then my mom forced me to eat pizza which is a trigger to...





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