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An ED American Mama in Belgium


Downward spiral

Posted by BigMamaBE , 21 October 2014 · 373 views
scared, binge, purge
I'm just falling back into the b/p type and it's scaring the fuck out of me. I think I've eaten around 3,000 or more calories every day for the last three or four days. I haven't been able to work out because I've had freelance stuff to get done - still do - and I shove all this food into my face. But I purge it through vomiting because I know I won't be...


Random long-weekend ramblings

Posted by BigMamaBE , 30 September 2014 · 390 views

So camping was AWESOME! But more on that in a bit.

The last several days have gone from low to high to middlin'. Last week was INSANE. I had a huge job where everything that could possibly have gone wrong did. My translator was late, I was extremely far behind (I didn't get the last half proofread), the client pushed the deadline up, etc. I stayed up eve...


Fuck my fat self

Posted by BigMamaBE , 13 September 2014 · 420 views


"You have a waist to hip ratio of 0.85. The information you entered: Sex = Female, waist = 33.3 inches and hip = 39 inches.

Your shape puts you at increased risk of coronary heart disease, diabetes and stroke. Frequently referred to as apple shape, you tend to keep fat at your midsection and less on you...


The anticlimactic end of the HSGD

Posted by BigMamaBE , 15 August 2014 · 384 views
healthy skinny girl diet, HSGD and 1 more...
Day 26 (July 4)
Goal: 950
Net: 2,868 - yup, you read that right
W: 63.1
F: 27.7
W: 49.7
M: 35.2

Day 27 (July 5)
Goal: 1,100
Net: 1,045
W: 63.6
F: 28
W: 49.5
M: 35.1

Day 28 (July 6)
Goal: 1,150
Net: 1,085
W: 63.2
F: 28
W: 49.5
M: 35.1

Day 29 (July 7)
Goal: 900
Net: 3,121 - can you say BINGE?!?!?!?
W: 63.2
F: 28
W: 49.5
M: 35.1

Day 30 (July 8)
Goal: 900...


HSGD update 3

Posted by BigMamaBE , 03 July 2014 · 502 views

Sorry I haven't been posting!! I haven't been on "my" computer at work this past week because I've been downstairs doing project management/dispatching/secretarial stuff all last week and this past Monday. And I really hate doing long posts on the iPad. I didn't have Chrome on the computer I was using at work, so I couldn't go incognito and I didn't dare...


HSGD update 2

Posted by BigMamaBE , 24 June 2014 · 408 views
healthy skinny girl diet, HSGD and 1 more...
Trying to distract myself while I ride the bike because crying about my kittehboi's death won't do me any good and biking will. But I'm so tired and worn out.

Day 12 (June 20)
Goal: 950
Net: 488
W: 64.3
F: 28.7
W: 49
M: 34.7

Day 13 (June 21)
Goal: 1,100
Net: 828
W: 64.1
F: 28.5
W: 49.1
M: 34.8

Day 14 (June 22)
Goal: 1,150
Net: 1,008
W: 64.1
F: 28.5


HSGD, my accountability blog from another site

Posted by BigMamaBE , 19 June 2014 · 451 views
Healthy skinny girl diet, HSGD and 1 more...
Below is my exact blog from another site on how the first 11 days of the HSGD have gone.

Day 1 (June 9)
Goal: 900
Net: 899
Weight: 64.9 (thank you flu!!)
Fat %: 29.2
Water %: 48.6
Muscle %: 34.5

Day 2 (June 10)
Goal: 800
Net: 760
W: 65.8 (where the fuck did THAT come from?! Oh yeah, the mindless eating on June 9th caught up to me...)
F: 30.4
W: 47.8


Still triggered, but in a "good" way, if you can even say that

Posted by BigMamaBE , 17 June 2014 · 399 views

So when I logged into FB this morning, the first thing I see is her . My trigger - because of this . I love her because she's really sweet and was one of my best friends in high school. But I hate her because she looks the way I want to - well, actually, I want to be skinnier, but that's besides the point. I feel inadequate every time I see her now becaus...


In a bad place and ready for the weekend to be over

Posted by BigMamaBE , 15 June 2014 · 278 views

So last night was spent binging and purging. I had loads of alcohol and about three packs of Lik-M-Aid (Fun Dip) just after midnight, after browsing around Facebook and seeing her , in her post-workout, still looking fabulous, half-naked, in skin-tight clothes selfies, showing off her fucking body. It brought back the whole thing with the hubs, that look...


Random goings on

Posted by BigMamaBE , 08 June 2014 · 298 views

Thanks to the flu, I dropped a whole kilo overnight from Thursday to Friday!! Got down to my lowest weight yet: 65 kg on the dot. Gained a few hundred grams back, but woke up this morning and was back at 65.

Did tons and tons of house work yesterday. Burned around 700 calories, which brought my net down to around 950. I'm going to start the HSGD on Mon...

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