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my day and random thoughts

Posted by ScarlettRosetta , 31 July 2020 · 28 views

So I think I did well enough today in terms of staying under 1000 calories. I loosely counted. I basically had one meal, and a protein shake. tons of caffeine to beat the fog and now it 9pm and I'm still wired. I'm sitting outside watching silence of the lambs and praying bugs don't start flocking towards my laptop.... I went on loser town and my guesstimated date to reach my first small goal is around 2 weeks. about 15 weeks to reach my first ultimate goal. my second second will be reached in about 20-22 weeks. I know it's not guaranteed, but I'll work hard enough to make it work out!! I'm starting college soon too. I hope I can lose the weight before then. I'm gonna be eating give or take 350 calories a day. some days I'll also work out too so its not like I'm just gonna be a couch potato... Although I'm sure it's not gonna be easy by the end of this week but I heard t gets better.... Not sure if it's true but w.e. Day one of this journey is over. I'll call that 1 point for me. lol. oh maybe I can have some fasting days too!!! that should speed things up.. how about, if I go over my calorie limit, the next day is automatically a fast day! That's fine by me. I think every time I think of over eating, I'm going to try drinking more water or maybe going outside to clear my head. If I'm overly desperate, perhaps I'll eat. I'm taking vitamins as well btw. quite a few actually. some hair and nail vitamins, regular multivitamins, appetite suppressants, iron supplement, and I'm considering adding a fiber supplement as well, but it adds calories. Only about 15-35calories per serving but I know I should be careful... maybe since it's for my health I shouldn't count it? Idk.. My boyfriend doesn't know I'm gonna be starving myself... If I told him I don't think he'd let me so I'm just not gonna tell anyone. He doesn't even know that I have a history of starving myself and purging.. I dont intend to go back to purging. that's why after each over eat day I will have a fast day. or maybe itll be an intermittent fast day. like 16 hours of fast and then I can have a meal again. idk... I'll lyk tomorrow. I'm going to set an alarm to remind myself to post on here because I really dont want to forget. I always forget about mpa, like, the next day and it's actually kind of nice to just sit here and think about stuff. If you actually read all of this you should totally comment because that would be interesting to see if ppl are actually gonna read this. it's ok if no one reads it though. it's just my thoughts and I dont mind no one else knowing about them.

August 2020

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