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MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Fucked Up



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Nothing

Posted by ChaosMinx , 17 October 2020 · 56 views

Sleep away the hunger pains
Skinny mini, dizzy daze


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The Perks of Stress

Posted by ChaosMinx , 12 September 2019 · 38 views

Tuesday & Yesterday, I lost 2.5 lbs, & today, despite eating a whole footlong sub, I lost another 1.5 lbs. 142.5 lbs, baby! Stress makes me drop weight. Now, I just have to get working on losing the rest of the weight I want to lose...now that the stress has passed.


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First Day of Exercise

Posted by ChaosMinx , 06 August 2019 · 66 views

Today, I consumed 587 calories. It was also my first day of exercise on the 6-week plan designed by my boyfriend. I couldn't do the whole routine, but here's a breakdown.

I was supposed to do squat-to-press for 30 seconds, but he forgot to borrow his mom's weights, so I just did squats for 30 seconds, then rested for 30 seconds.
I did v-ups for 30 secon...


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God Damn It!

Posted by ChaosMinx , 20 July 2019 · 59 views

Whatever meat my boyfriend's cooking smells amazing! However, after 3 days of eating like a fucking pig, I've gained 3.5 lbs, so I can't eat today. I was already hungry & had just finally stopped craving the Chef Boyardee in the cupboard. Fucking asshole having to fucking eat! Right now, I wish he was anorexic with me. I realize how fucked up that is....


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FED. UP.

Posted by ChaosMinx , 19 July 2019 · 57 views

Okay, new rule: Only eat when happy. If someone says something negative to me, I don't eat that day. Getting skinny will be my revenge. No one values or respects me, but they did before I got fat, so obviously, it's because I'm fat. FUCK this! Rules
If anyone says anything negative to me that makes me feel like I'm not valued or respected, I don't e...


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Wasted

Posted by ChaosMinx , 21 December 2018 · 49 views

I'm only alive in your memories. I'm just a ghost that hasn't died yet. Do not resuscitate. I'm not coming back. 
I've turned to dust- just scattered memories. There's no light left inside. I'm just emptiness and pain. I'm just a shell moving through life without a soul. I only choose to live for you. I would never want to hurt you, so I'll stay in t...


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Fasting Fail

Posted by ChaosMinx , 18 December 2018 · 51 views

After last night's blog post, I caved & made some rice & corn. I have to fast now, though. Last night, right after I finished eating my rice & corn, something happened. My boyfriend were talking about the "bro" lifestyle because he's been going to the gym the last 7 months & has lost almost 100 lbs. He's not a "bro", but we talked about h...


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Christmas Is Coming...

Posted by ChaosMinx , 17 December 2018 · 59 views

Due to lack of money for groceries I actually want to eat, I thought I'd take advantage & try to fast as much as possible this week. I have 4 family dinners in a row from the 24-27. Today, I ate 4 tbsp of peanut butter, 360 calories, so I'm not doing terrible. Did better than I thought, actually. :) I have plenty of time to sleep off headaches &...


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I Should Not Have Done That

Posted by ChaosMinx , 24 November 2018 · 85 views

Read yesterday's post for context. 
After that post, I eventually caved & ate 1 cup of rice with 2 tbsp of margarine & a tiny bit of salt, which brings my calorie count yesterday to 635~. I have had a migraine ALL DAY, which caused me to sleep ALL DAY, & my head STILL fucking hurts. :( I can't restrict that much if it's going to set off m...


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Just a Log

Posted by ChaosMinx , 23 November 2018 · 72 views

Yesterday, I ate 2 Viva Puffs & 3 suckers. Nothing else. I also weighed 144 yesterday. :) Feels good to lose weight without any real effort put into it & just skipping meals for a day. The day before that I had 2 Viva Puffs, a few suckers (I don't remember how many) & 2 chicken breasts with chicken & rib sauce. Being too broke for grocerie...






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