Sticking with what I say
In the back of my head I've already decided to close the door on a dating life. I've been single my whole life, I've talked to guys yeah but it was always something. I just don't believe everyone's meant to be in a "relationship," I think about how common cheating is, irreversible life changes because of bad relationships, how common toxic traits are, the fact that most couples that marry end up getting divorced. I've seen some beautiful, committed relationships but, you just really can't trust anyone & even when you think you can something completely unexpected could happen & personally I just don't respond well to that. Like it can take me months to recover from a traumatic event and that's slowed down my life so many times already..
Now my thing is, I feel like I don't fully stick with that belief. Like whenever I find a guy remotely attractive that's automatically contradicting the thought that I want to stay single bc if the said dude approached me I WOULD want to talk to him in the back of my head but I know it's not in my path. I just see myself as someone that works, has a nice home, hangs out with friends, and adopts kids.
Idk, I just think that if I truly am self loving, then that means I wouldn't be interested in a dating life because I'd already be at the highest good. Of course a harmonious one would attract a like person for an even higher good but I feel like for now, or for a really long time, I'd rather just stay this way, but 100%. Meaning I'm not even thinking about ~how nice~ it would be because everything would be nice as is.