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I like trees



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Weeks kcal intake & activities

Posted by Arraabeylla , 29 June 2021 · 9 views

Tuesday:
(Knekkebrød) Crisp bread, w/cheese and vegetarian ham
Salad from the stores salad bar
Snickers 100g
Todays schedule: Work, shopping for work & 11k steps (-337kcal)
Estimated kcal intake: 1150kcal
Wednesday:
I don´t remember :)
Todays schedule: Visiting my father, friend $ too hot to handle
Estimated kcal intak: 1100kcal?  Thurs...


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Updates :)

Posted by Arraabeylla , 28 June 2021 · 37 views

I really have to be more consistent with posting on MPA, but bro, I just got discharged... for two months ago.
In those two months, I got a foster family, sort of. I live in Norway, and here they call it "beredskaps famillie". I also lost a family friend from suicide, that was fun.  Actually, a lot happened in those two month, except off me loosing w...


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Life at a treatment center

Posted by Arraabeylla , 04 April 2021 · 89 views

Its not what I thought it would be. They are not forcing me to do anything here, they just suggest stuff. It looks like they care, but I can't stop thinking that this is their job and their job is to care. They get paid to care and listen. If you get paid, does that really qualify your actions for real caring and worry. I skip one goddamn meal, and they g...


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Caught on 4K and treatment center (TW!)

Posted by Arraabeylla , 02 April 2021 · 118 views

I have some really bad habits, and one of them are stealing and I got caught. I am a bad person who does not deserve to live. People work hard to get where they are now, and I just go around and steal shits for my friends to like me more. I am pitiful. 
Yesterday I wanted to kill myself, I had a Knife and my pills, I was going to kill myself...But I...


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Back at it again

Posted by Arraabeylla , 23 March 2021 · 72 views

I feel like a freaking psychopath.
AND I will stopp drinking because it hinders my metabolism and makes me gain weight, but drugs such as weed and LSD...keep coming to me please!
Fasting is hard when you have been binging or eating "normal" for a couple of months, so I will try to high restrict, then low restrict, and then hopefully be happy.  My...


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In Limbo

Posted by Arraabeylla , 21 March 2021 · 86 views

Things are nice, My mom is not hitting me nor is her boyfriend bothering me like before. My sister cares and so does my brothers...but I feel so hopelessly empty and anxious. I keep drinking and smoking. I can't stop. My therapists have all been trying to help me out, but somehow, it´s not working. Nothing is. 
Maybe it is not just my environment, bu...


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Exercise instead of low restriction?

Posted by Arraabeylla , 03 February 2021 · 120 views

I am at school right now, extremely bored!
I dont think a lot of food but more about exercise. I love the feeling of my soar body, cause it feels like the muscle is getting rid of all of the fat. I have been exercising everyday since the gyms finally opened, and I am so happy. My food intake has even been lower than before, because I am too tired to...


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I Miss You

Posted by Arraabeylla , 23 January 2021 · 104 views

It has gone almost 6 months since I have been on this site, and it is kinda sad that I am back.
I actually thought that I would be able to lose weight healthily and somehow recover. My father came and visited me for two days ago, and it was hard I guess. I had talked to my therapist of how my mom would sometimes throw glass and shoes at me and physi...


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Fired up and making plans

Posted by Arraabeylla , 26 August 2020 · 144 views

Okay!
I was able to loose 10 kg in a month before, so I can do it again!!
My mindset will not get in my way.
I need to quit my straneous Job, because it is doing more harm than good to both my physical and mental health.
I am not allowed to quit the job before 2 weeks, which means I have to keep working for two more days and hopefully I won't try to kill...


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Emotions and being okay but not okay with my weight

Posted by Arraabeylla , 23 August 2020 · 140 views

I have not written here for a while.
I wanted to recover and lose weight the right way, but I have lost it.
My vitality, my strength and my ugly fake smiles.
No one noticing my weight loss at school really got to my head.
I´ve been trying to get a job and do some productive things, but I was too ambitious.
Having two part time jobs and volunteering besid...






July 2021

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