It was so easy to stop eating during the weekday. But on the weekend? God, it's hell.
Sober now and all I want to do is still just EAT. How did I used to be able to restrict on weekends? I want to be 17 again and succeeding at weight loss. Now I'm just a major failure. Granted, I never got back up to my SW, no where close. I'm only 15 lbs heavier than the lowest weight I maintained for a long period at that time. But I feel like suck a major failure for gaining the weight in the first place, then spending 8 years trying to lose it again. All the clothes I own that are too small for me... All the time I've spent obsessing over getting smaller... All the years I've spent yo-yoing repetitively... All the outings I've refused, all the classes I've skipped/failed, all the events I've missed out on BECAUSE of my eating disorder...
I won't let it go to waste. By the time the next 701 days are over, I'll have achieved and maintained my GW. I won't let it go to waste. I won't let it be for nothing.
I have a new goal, by the way. To be able to fit my legs through the bars on my patio/balcony. So I can sit on the edge with them hanging down. If I lost just 20lbs, I believe I could slide them through easily.