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694

Posted by OKaP , 28 March 2021 · 99 views

Today I did not snack. I did not binge.

 

I just reminded myself that every day I go off my plan, is another day I'm postponing my happiness.

 

I will not postpone my happiness any longer. I refuse.

 

I'm tired, and cold. I'm feeling particularly low lately, suicidal.

 

I can't help but feel losing weight will make it better.

 

That magically, I won't be afraid to leave the house any more.
That somehow, I'll gain energy as I lose fat.
That satisfaction can be found when I finally accomplish something.

 

And mostly, that people will care about me again and I won't be lonely anymore.

 

On one hand, I want to cry and eat.
But no one will care about me then. No one will help me unless I'm tiny.

 

I only have 694 days left. I can't keep procrastinating.





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