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One can only be perfect within an imperfect frame

Posted by Perfection-Obsession , 13 January 2021 · 64 views

One can only be perfect within an imperfect frame.

 

I feel I should introduce myself a bit... I always feel behind in life. I am 28, I am doing a grad degree. But will have to do another one after this one in order to practice in my chosen career field.

 

I would like to be both a researcher and an art psychotherapist. Possibly also an artist.

 

I feel like I have so far to go. I wonder if I can really be described as an anorexic, or if it is something else, something more, something different. My anorexia feels like one critical aspect of my perfectionism. I externalise almost everything, and almost everything can be a vessel for my need to externalise my incredibly low-self esteem, and inescapable feeling of being a failure. I want everything, and I worry that this means I am a narcissist? I want a lovely, beautiful house, I want to have a meaningful career or several meaningful careers if I am honest, I want to be beautiful, to have a perfect body, to excel at makeup, to have perfect skin and a gorgeous perfect wardrobe which is unique, aesthetic, and yet not too out there.

 

So I have so much to do, I overwhelm myself with my own expectations but I don't know how else to be. I do not know how to self sooth, to comfort myself. I only know how to push myself further forward.

 

So I suppose I will use this blog to track my progress in all of these fields I want to achieve in. If you'd like to join me on my journey, then that'd be nice. If you are similar to me in personality, then maybe we can connect?

 

Goals and the Road to Perfection

 

Body Goal: to maintain a weight of 90-95lbs, and a bf% of 16-17% - Body Stats: 106.6lbs, 19.3% bf

 

Education Goal 1: to graduate my MSc with a Distinction Education Stats 1: Currently at a Distinction (75%)

 

Education Goal 2: to get the 1500 work experience hours needed for my next degree Education Stats 2: 0/1500

 

Education Goal 3: develop an exquisite art portfolio for my MA Education Stats 3: I have the ideas, but have not begun

 

Wardrobe Goal: To create a gorgeous professional, but still pastel, vaguely Yumekawaii wardrobe

 

Skincare Goal: Do not get wrinkles, develop an excellent skincare routine

 

Makeup Goal: Learn how to do excellent makeup, develop a style, and palette of colours that work

 

Financial Goals: Save as much as possible, find new income streams



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