March 4th 2021
My sleeping pattern has been so messed up for the past two weeks or something. I woke up today by my mum asking me questions about my health. She was on the phone with the doctor. I have never met him before but ill probs be seeing him alot cos i live in a small town where you know every doctor. He seems really sweet and supportive though we were on the phone for around half an hour. I gave permission for my mum to speak on my behalf because im shit at explaining whats wrong. My mum told him about my eating habits or lack there of and he refered me to a clinic? I also need to get some blood tests but i let dr know i have no intention to stop with this. It was weird he seemed a little taken back by what i said but he also sounds younger so maybe hes not had this experience before?
I also emailed one last fuck you and goodbye to my stalker. I was quite harsh but hopefully it got through to him. It scares me so much a man 30 years older than me is so obsessed with me to the point of waiting outside bus stops at 10pm to "make sure i got on the bus safe". He literally makes my skin crawl. I even said to him i believe if i stayed in glasgow any longer my head would be in his freezer. I threatened to tell police all the things he did. If anybody works with someone uncomfortably friendly please please please dont be nice to them. let them know you dont like them from the start. I also told him not to fucking email me back because i considered myself free from him and he ignored that. He said he truly believed i had feeling for him!!!!????? That man is GROTESQUE! And people ask me why i starve myself and get rid of my "womanly figure". I have had enough of men being creepy. This is gonna sound so fucked but im a pretty girl and i know that and it scares the shit out of me. I have autism and dont like the thought of casual intimacy so it makes me so uncomfortable when i get sexual comments. I dont know im just so scared right now and my best friend/ex is with the guy she cheated on me with who also happens to be the guy who fucks my life up most of the time. I spent two years of my life with her and gave her everything i had and she abused me in so many ways and i still looked past it. I have no control i love her so much even though she keeps hurting me. I just wish i had someone in this town i could latch onto haha.
Thankyou for listening x