March 18th 2021
So i got my blood tested, nothing exciting just new pills from the doctor for anemia and another strong vitamin. Im going too mental health people next week monday but if i go alone ill say im fine. My mum will have to come but i dont want them to ask anything embarrasing. No doubt mum will mention my strong hatred for men and dont get me wrong i am romantically interested in them but i hate when they act sexual within 5 minutes of meeting. Im basically a nun and cant do anything but kiss. Sometimes i revert to my 14 year old self i think. You know when you fantasise about your ghost boyfriend that lives in your room and doesnt speak to anyone else? no? I think it would be quite cute to be a catholic with a demon boyfriend but obviously that couldnt work. I feel like im gaining weight cos every day i look in the mirror and i just keep getting bigger but the scale stays the same. Im nervous for the mental health team. Every time i have gone before i dont get taken seriously. Its cos of the autism i dont really show emotion in front of others but i feel them so much. Besides that im fine, nesting in my room and gonna get rabbits soon aaaaahh.