May 13th - tea in a flower garden
May 13th, 2021
I met with some girl friends again to work on a project together and it went really well, we had tea in a beautiful flower garden with bunnies! They say they appreciate my work and love my fashion style, it feels so good to know people look up to you ad you look up to them.
I then visited my grandma and we had cookies together, which kinda triggered a binge.. it makes me sad to know I can't fully take in good moments without thinking about food first. I didn't throw up cause I was at my grandma's house, but I ended up walking an hour and a half and skipping dinner to calm my anxiety.
Breakfast: yogurt + apples = 428
Lunch (at my mom's): agretti with egg + strawberries and half banana + chocolate = 592
Snack: cinnamon and raisin bread = about 223
Dinner (with grandma): cookies + apple = 909
This total calorie amount scares me so much, it's too high and it gives me so much anxiety just thinking about it
I must learn to see food as pure nourishment, not as a good or bad emotion, it's not a reward or punishment or duty. The key to being ok is learning to have a healthy relationship with the people and things that surround us every day, starting from ourselves.