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Day 1/63

Posted by primitiveexposure , 10 June 2021 · 60 views

I guess I started a couple days ago... But this is the first day I could post blogs on here so here we go.


It was never certain if I would ever get married. It wasn't really something on my radar and I had been previously so discouraged by the dating pool before. Much to my parent's relief, I found my forever human. He is kind, understanding, helpful, handsome, and honest. I love him and I love our relationship.


But through that relationship I have ballooned to a size not previously known to me. At my biggest, probably I was 64 kg. When we got back from vacation last week I weighed in at 62 kg. A month ago I was trying on wedding dresses and, while I felt beautiful in the moment, the pictures told me a different story. I was heavily triggered. It didn't help that the dresses could barely zip up. I knew I had to change.


It felt pointless to try and lose weight between that moment and an upcoming vacation. So I didn't. I drank more, ate more.. everything more. I somehow managed to maintain or even lose some weight over the vacation. And now that I am back home I am ready to cast aside all of that in the name of being a bridezilla.


So today I weighed in at 61.75. This was disappointing because I weighed 61.3 yesterday. There are a few things going into those numbers, though. First, yesterday I was dehydrated and hungover from too much whiskey. Second, I have been working out the past two days and I am very sore (water weight). Third, my BM has not been very regular (more water weight from constipation probably).


Because I am lifting weights, I am still mentally able to handle eating more on lifting days. On the 7th I ate 817 cals with lots of chicken and vegetables. On the 8th (workout day) I ate 1321 cals, the additional cals coming from a protein smoothie with raspberries in it and three drinks of whiskey. On the 9th I had 865 cals. This was also a workout day but it was upper body so whatever. Each day I try to get close to 100 g of protein to keep as much muscle mass as possible. But otherwise I am trying to eat mostly vegetables and fruits, avoiding processed foods.


From my highest weight I am down 0.75 kg in three days. I am hopeful that I will be down even more tomorrow.


Also, I have a cold. Who gets a cold during a pandemic????

December 2021

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