Ite been a bad morning. I am in a guilt anxiety because kids had to be off school yesterday as one had to do covid test... and I couldnt work and can't today as stoll waiting for results.
My Co worker is pregnant and working my hours she is tired. Its her first pregnancy and her close family member had had some traumatic pregnancy and births so I know she is probably anxious and I feel guilty for adding to her stress load.
My husband is mad because I tried to organise to work a day I don't normally work so I can give her a rest day. He has stuff he wants to do and he works so hard he needs that outlet to do his thing
I feel bad for asking my motherinlaw to have kids on another day. She is so good to us and I hate asking.
I am in a guilt hole because I can't please everyone I feel bad because I am just at home. Doing nothing. I got out my needles and started scratching to punish myself and also release some pressure.
I need to get up out of bed and stop staring at the exposed joists and wondering if they'd hold my hanging body.