oct 13, 2021 - Forums and Community

Jump to content

About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


oct 13, 2021

Posted by donotperceive , 13 October 2021 · 0 views

wow im super tired bc ive been working on a 2000 word paper, so this update will be mostly short and sweet


today i weighed in this morning at 42.8. I'm fairly significantly under my safe weight and i need to be 43.5 in like? two days now, so i decided to up my calories to 1400.


here's what i ate:


choco pie: 170 cal
protein bar: 200 cal
chips: 400 cal
chicken quesadilla: 600 cal
ice cream: 500 cal


total: 1900kcal


yeah, yeah i know thats not 1400. i finished my dinner (the chicken quesadilla) and weighed myself to find i was barely over my safe weight. so i decided, screw it. im going to eat that ice cream ive been saving. after that i still weighed in at only 43.3. honestly, i feel like i usually lose between 0.2kg to 0.5kg overnight, so i wouldn't be surprised if i woke up either under my safe weight or very close to it, so honestly. i just don't care.


i had a terrible dream last night that i spiraled out of control. i couldn't keep my weight at something stable and i was forced to go to treatment. my mom was heartbroken and treatment was painful. it stuck with me for a while after i woke up. i don't want that. so screw it. ill eat the extra 500kcal even if it means i gain a tiny amount of weight.


good night everyone

October 2021

17181920 21 2223

Recent Entries