Hello, my name is Ace. I live in San Francisco, California and I'm 25. I'm really glad to have found a Pro Ana support group as people who are close to me don't understand my lifestyle choice and consistently batter me and claim I have an "illness".
I had my son in 2005 via emergency c-section at 35 weeks. I was in labor for 62 hours and my family was told that I was going to die. The butcher shop I went to gave me an unmedicated emergency c-section and I flatlined for over 10 minutes. I was pronounced dead and my family was notified. I somehow managed to regain my existence and I was put on bed rest for 18 months due to the botched incision line (it kept reopening) and the botched/rusting staples they stapled me with. =D I shall never go to county hospital again! Lol
Anyway, I went to an appointment after I was released from my bed rest and I weighed a whopping 221 lbs (I'm 5'4). It was just unacceptable for me to live my life as a beached whale. So today, I weigh 140 lbs. Everyone says I look great. My nickname is Barbie amongst my friends and strangers (I'm also blonde). HOWEVER, I am not happy with myself. My goal weight is 100 lbs. So I have 40 more to go. These days I don't eat at all. It's a rare occasion that I do. When I eat, I feel so sick that my body automatically purges it. I just feel better without food. My friends, family, and fiance don't understand. They ask "where is that 40 lbs going to come from? You have nothing left to lose" well, I feel like I have a lot to lose. They try to force feed me or trick me into eating. I have a best friend who is overweight and she consistently tells me "you look anorexic, you're becoming gross". So I've been lying to everyone and saying that I've been eating, or I'll eat and end up purging it all. I need support! Thanks for reading my psychotic story.