I'm Jami Kali. I'm glad to have found a place to share my isolated thoughts with a community of people I have something in common with. Sharing is a good connection. Human-Connection is a warm feeling.
I've always been insecure about my body image but I've only had anorexia for a little over a year now. My highest weight was 128 pounds in tenth grade. I'm petite, 5'1 and practically no room for a waist, so the extra pounds really weighed on my soul. A skinny girl insulted me quite a bit and in a few months, a vegetarian diet switch and exercise got me down to 105.
Eight years ago. My weight obsession has been a rollercoaster ride since then.
Last November I weighed somewhere near 113. That's when I made a promise to myself that the rollercoaster would halt. Down. Only down. The weight needed to drop. To melt. Vanish.
I started exercising again, like a mofo. And, magically, discovered the art of
eating. I fasted often. Chose fruits and veggies as my current prophets. As a side effect of cleansing and purification, I became more creative. More spiritual. In touch. Birth of an Eating Disorder paired with Ego Death. Ironic.
But back on the physical plane: Today I'm 90 pounds.
It's a lovehate relationship. My body is closest to the body I've always dreamed of having but never knew possible. Yet, it's never enough. I obsess over caloric/fat intake every day and always want to be lighter. I love food but eating gives me tight chest anxiety.
You can read my anablog here
or peruse my tumblr
or my personal creative site
or hear my music.