I have been eating disordered for about 10 years, going up and down with my weight, always hated my stomach but never hated my legs that much. A little short, a little fat, but nothing that couldnt be fixed with a puffy short skirt and some killer heels, even at my heighest weight.
Until today.
Was bending down to check if my broken exercise bike (which has totally screwed up my left knee, damn thing) could be fixed, and my husband says
"ooooh whats all that lumpiness on the backs of your legs?"
"mm? I dont know, take a photo!"
The backs of my legs are literally covered in cellulite, and I never knew!!! All those years wobbling around in skirts and heels, jiggling from behind, and I didnt have a clue.
I feel so ashamed and sad. I was happy today because Id lost more weight, but now this has ruined my mood for the day.
He said it was the first time to see it, so maybe it wasnt there at my lowest weight so the only thing I can do is lose more weight and itll disappear?
Or am I still going to be lumpy and jiggly when I have a bmi of 17?
Perhaps I should start buying leggings to hide my shame.
Im going to up my water intake drastically, and do some yoga if that might help.
If anyone has any ideas, please please do let me know.
