Hi everyone! After months of being that random person that endlessly reads MPA threads in order to aid my weight loss, I've finally decided to just buck up and make an account. I'm super excited to be here in a community of people who share and understand a lot of the same weight and eating struggles I'm going through.
I've battled my weight my entire life, and at the age of 20, that fight continues. I think I started putting on weight around the age of 10. It was my way of coping with the fact that my family lost my childhood house and had to move around for a year. For about 2 years, we were basically homeless. All 5 of us lived in a large room upstairs in my grandma's house. That's when the weight really packed on for me. I had no other place to turn to, my religion was dwindling, my friends were changing, my family was brushing my struggles off as low priority (which was completely understandable, considering our situation). My sister was 16 when I was 12. She used to be the person I always looked up to, but after a while she found my endearment as annoying. This caused our relationship to get worse and to reach a point of staged friendliness. She bothered me because she was always the beautiful one amongst us. Everyone would say how pretty she was. She had boys around her all of the time and was very popular at school. Meanwhile, my awkward self couldn't even get my crush to talk to me. Eventually, when I was 15, my mother was concerned about my weight. At around 5'4"/5'5", I weight 226 lbs. She decided to help me and we both started the HCG diet, which is basically a restrictive diet that puts you into ketosis. In about a month, I lost around 30 lbs. which was amazing! However, as high school got more dramatic and complicated for me, I started to put some weight back on. It wasn't that bad. I fluctuated up and down 10 lbs. After graduating high school at 17 and taking a year off to move out with my brother and work, I returned home for the summer before my freshman year of college. My mom and I went back on the HCG diet and I lost another 30 lbs, weighing in at around 169 lbs.
After my grandma died, whom I was very close to, I started to cope with food again and put 20 lbs. back on. I went through a lot of emotional stuff that year and did a lot of drinking and even got into some drugs for a while. After i finished my freshman year, I left behind the best friends I ever had. During that summer, I had to drop out of that college due to the fact that we could no longer afford it. After a long summer of working double shifts at a restaurant, I was finally able to pay the college $1000 for my transcripts. I found a college that offered me a decent scholarship and with the help of my wonderful parents, I decided to enroll. Moving all of the way across the country to the West Coast was very strange for me. The stress of adjusting caused me to stop eating altogether and excessively work out, losing those extras 20 lbs. I had put on.
Now, almost a year later, I am finishing up my Sophomore year of college and watching my eating habits get worse. I either completely binge out or restrict to the point of starving. It's hard for me to find a middle ground. However, I've discovered mono diets and have been trying this out for a little over a week now. I really like them because they're making it easier for me to feel in control of my weight during exams--which is always super complicated.
I am so sorry that this post was so long, I think I just needed to rant about everything that has affected my weight fluctuation and struggles. I am currently without an accurate scale, but my stats (to the best of my knowledge) are as follows:
5'6" 170/175 lbs.
My CGW is 150 lbs.
My UGW is 120 lbs.
Hopefully I will be able to reach at least the first goal weight. I exercise kind of regularly, however, not as much lately due to this super difficult academic quarter. After this week, I will have a two week break at home which I am super excited about!
Recently I did the chocolate mono for three days and felt a real loss in my body fat (not just water weight and food weight). I took a day break and lightly binged, but folowed that up with a 4 day Nutella mono. During that mono, I felt great and lost a decent about of fat (this is all based on how I looked in the mirror, felt physically, and looked in my clothes). I took yesterday and today off to get some energy for my paper writing, however I found myself super distracted with worrying about putting weight back on. Today I kind of binged which was super annoying. I'm planning on doing the Nutella mono for another 5 days this week so I can stay worry free about what I should and shouldn't eat (a huge load off my mind!).
If anyone read this far, I thank you, my dudes! You all are super strong and beautiful people! I hope each and every one of you reach your goals and feel great!
P.S. My sister and I get along really well now because we are both growing up and realize how much we need each other in life. Also, I suffer from PCOS which is a condition with my ovaries that messes with my hormones a lot. That is probably another factor for my weight issues. I'm taking pills for it though, which is super helpful.