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#21 LilithKnight

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 10:57 PM

Question. I've been posting alot in the introductions to kinda keep this from happening. 

One girl said I was being rude & I didn't think I was. I'd like your opinion. 

 

"Hi love! 

Welcome to mpa. 
While we are pro ana, most of us don't like to give out tips to babies such as yourself. 
There are other places to find them, if you must. 
But before you start with the tips. 
Post around, get to know the seniors on mpa, make some friends, & then ask for tips. 
It seems a bit odd, for you to ask for them straight off the bat. 
& even when you're well known here, people might not share tips with you. 
The basis of mpa is to support each other through our ED's. 
Some will give you want you want, some will not. 
In any matter, please do be safe in your endeavors. " 

 

^^is that rude?  :mellow:

I can try to be more careful with my wording in the future. I guess.

I saw that.  The only word that I found wrong that might have seen rude was 'babies',  I know you meant it in the most harmless way possible, but people get offended by anything and everything.  *shrug*


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#22 BridgeteCara

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 10:58 PM

Question. I've been posting alot in the introductions to kinda keep this from happening. 

One girl said I was being rude & I didn't think I was. I'd like your opinion. 

 

"Hi love! 

Welcome to mpa. 
While we are pro ana, most of us don't like to give out tips to babies such as yourself. 
There are other places to find them, if you must. 
But before you start with the tips. 
Post around, get to know the seniors on mpa, make some friends, & then ask for tips. 
It seems a bit odd, for you to ask for them straight off the bat. 
& even when you're well known here, people might not share tips with you. 
The basis of mpa is to support each other through our ED's. 
Some will give you want you want, some will not. 
In any matter, please do be safe in your endeavors. " 

 

^^is that rude?  :mellow:

I can try to be more careful with my wording in the future. I guess.

 

I think that was perfectly fine!! maybe she took the word "baby" as condescending even though that wasn't your intention. 


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#23 Guest_TinyBeauty_*

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:06 PM

This definitely needed to be said, while most of us have the best intentions in pointing newbies in the healthy direction of weight loss, a lot of people were malicious in how they said it.



#24 moth monarch

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:13 PM

I saw that.  The only word that I found wrong that might have seen rude was 'babies',  I know you meant it in the most harmless way possible, but people get offended by anything and everything.  *shrug*

 

 

I think that was perfectly fine!! maybe she took the word "baby" as condescending even though that wasn't your intention. 

 

Yeah. Cause I meant it as like length on the site. I'm basically a Toddler. 
I'll just stick to new member in the future. 


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#25 Dancing Queen Dani

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:15 PM

what do warning points even do?

 

Warning points are basically there to warn said member. Depending on the severity of the warning decides how long you'll have the points and how long your posting is disabled. I believe that once you get up to 10 warning points you get banned from MPA. But warning points disappear pretty quickly after receiving them. 

 

But what if someone comes on and is looking to "catch an eating disorder"? Like has no eating problems, and just wants to lose weight.

 

Technically everyone who has an ED or is just looking to lose weight are welcomed. But I do agree that some people just shouldn't be on here. Like there are some people that come on here just to stir shit up >.< Like if someone is trying to "catch an eating disorder" then just gently redirect them. Most people just tell them to gtfo... If people nicely told them to try out MFP then that would be different. 

 

 

Question. I've been posting alot in the introductions to kinda keep this from happening. 

One girl said I was being rude & I didn't think I was. I'd like your opinion. 

 

"Hi love! 

Welcome to mpa. 
While we are pro ana, most of us don't like to give out tips to babies such as yourself. 
There are other places to find them, if you must. 
But before you start with the tips. 
Post around, get to know the seniors on mpa, make some friends, & then ask for tips. 
It seems a bit odd, for you to ask for them straight off the bat. 
& even when you're well known here, people might not share tips with you. 
The basis of mpa is to support each other through our ED's. 
Some will give you want you want, some will not. 
In any matter, please do be safe in your endeavors. " 

 

^^is that rude?  :mellow:

I can try to be more careful with my wording in the future. I guess.

 

The only part of it that I would consider rude would be the "baby" part. That can be taken as condescending and/or rude. I wouldn't issue a verbal warning for it, probably not even a little slap on the wrist. Unless of course its from a repeat offender, but even then it's barely anything. 


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#26 Ih8carbs

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:22 PM

Just something to think about...some people ( OK...ME) here don't...as far as we know...have an ED.. but have found an accepting community here.. and feel more comfortable here than on....more...."appropriate" weight loss sites because we have OTHER issues.....
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#27 LilithKnight

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:28 PM

Just something to think about...some people ( OK...ME) here don't...as far as we know...have an ED.. but have found an accepting community here.. and feel more comfortable here than on....more...."appropriate" weight loss sites because we have OTHER issues.....

Exactly, and that's perfectly fine.  I don't think anyone has an issue with that.  It's more the people who come here to get an ED.


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#28 anon-girl

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:30 PM

yeah i wish someone would've backed me up when i first joined b/c someone said the same thing about how i don't need to be here.



#29 BridgeteCara

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:32 PM

yeah i wish someone would've backed me up when i first joined b/c someone said the same thing about how i don't need to be here.

 

I just went back in your history to find your post lol. wow fuck that bitch. what a dumbass.


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β€œWhen you play a game of thrones you win or you die.” --- George RR Martin, A Game of Thrones

The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson


Trust your hunches, They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. - Joyce Brothers

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#30 anon-girl

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Posted 09 June 2014 - 11:43 PM

I just went back in your history to find your post lol. wow fuck that bitch. what a dumbass.

omg don't get me started -_- hahah



#31 Guest_70lbs of yogurt_*

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 12:50 AM

Honestly, it doesn't make a difference whether its a moderator or a regular MPA member. I don't give people a special treatment for some fancy title

And to my post, I honestly can't stomach the idea of someone using such a delicate disorder as a way out of their problems. I'm generally nice, but seeing 10+ newbies falsely spewing ideas of how developing anorexia is great really gets to me and I lose my nice very quickly
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#32 Guest_Motivator_*

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 04:22 AM

Honestly, it doesn't make a difference whether its a moderator or a regular MPA member. I don't give people a special treatment for some fancy title

And to my post, I honestly can't stomach the idea of someone using such a delicate disorder as a way out of their problems. I'm generally nice, but seeing 10+ newbies falsely spewing ideas of how developing anorexia is great really gets to me and I lose my nice very quickly

 

So you feel your feelings should give you more consideration  than other peoples feelings in an all inclusive community? 
Just because you don't like someones goals or from an often ~5 line introduction assume something gives you the right to make someone feel bad? If you want to help them then maybe actually being inclusive and talking to them not as if you ED gives you more right to speak than them, many, specially the young that comes here are often alone, pushed out, looking for just support and human connections just like everyone else and if their first introduction is: 

 

 

GTFO b*tch, you don't have an ED or tell us our ED or this isn't dieting, grow up etc etc

Well do you really think that is helping? Might turn your stomach but that doesn't give you any more right to be here than anyone else does it? or are we basing membership on gut feelings now, making it elitist, a special club just for those how have been diagnosed, committed and so on? 

Maybe you should rethink your membership if you feel that the all inclusive pro-ana sites members is making your stomach turn when they want to lose weight? 

If not, be nice even when you don't want to, otherwise this site will become just a shitstorm like so many before it, the internet has a funny way of turning people in to trolls please be aware of how your behavior affects other. You don't have to encourage someone to get an ED just because you help them lose weight, you are in an optimal position both for yourself and the other person to reflect how you got there and what not to do, how to do it right and so on.  

Well that's just my 2 cents.


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#33 BridgeteCara

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 04:24 AM

Honestly, it doesn't make a difference whether its a moderator or a regular MPA member. I don't give people a special treatment for some fancy title

And to my post, I honestly can't stomach the idea of someone using such a delicate disorder as a way out of their problems. I'm generally nice, but seeing 10+ newbies falsely spewing ideas of how developing anorexia is great really gets to me and I lose my nice very quickly


Yeah I get you. I feel the same way.

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β€œWhen you play a game of thrones you win or you die.” --- George RR Martin, A Game of Thrones

The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson


Trust your hunches, They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. - Joyce Brothers

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#34 Dirty Dishes

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 04:46 AM

but people get offended by anything and everything

HOW DARE YOU


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#35 LilithKnight

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 07:49 AM

HOW DARE YOU

HUH?!?!?!!?!?!  YA TALKIN TA ME B!!!!!!!!!!!!############@@@@@@@@@@@%%%%%%%%%%?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!  I SEE YA LOOKIN AT ME FUNNY.  YOU SURE ARE DIRTY DISHES, BECAUSE IMMA CLEAN YOU UP B!#@%!

 

 

*crowd chants in the background*  fight fight fight fight (I bet $10 on Dirty Dishes)


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#36 prescription

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 08:16 AM

Oh shit. I didnt realize that. I just woke up from a nap lol. I thought 70lbs was saying that to perspective.

Yeahhh... thats wrong. very uncalled for. not to mention her post is 100% accurate. it does say in the community guidelines that people from all ends of the spectrum are welcomed here. I agree that the "no judgment" rule can be interpreted in different ways yes, but blatant bulling of newbies and telling them to gtfo is pretty a clear cut violation.

I think the only times I have been openly rude to them when they are clearly trolls... sometimes if they are really really stupid I mistake them for trolls.


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What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
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Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88

#37 prescription

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 08:18 AM

Honestly, it doesn't make a difference whether its a moderator or a regular MPA member. I don't give people a special treatment for some fancy title

And to my post, I honestly can't stomach the idea of someone using such a delicate disorder as a way out of their problems. I'm generally nice, but seeing 10+ newbies falsely spewing ideas of how developing anorexia is great really gets to me and I lose my nice very quickly

I agree. It's offensive when someone wants help to develop anorexia, bulimia, or ednos. It feels like they are mocking the thing we struggle with everyday. 


lonely-blog_20_1_-thumb-350x259-27542.jp

What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
CW: - somewhere under 110
LW 95.5
Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88

#38 AmyPond

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 08:21 AM

There is right and wrong way to say anything, while I get the sentiment of those that simply say "get the fuck out, you don't belong here." That is most assuredly the wrong way. Think about it this way, you are probably saying that to a 13 year old, and you could trigger them to go to even more dangerous sites. 

 

I am no saint and I have had my weak hunger riddled moments, but for the most part I try and give them the good solid advice that I would give my daughter if she asked such a thing. 

 

Thank you Dani this was needed :)


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"It's an addiction and a compulsion, a brain disorder and a crutch, your best friend and your worst enemy, a fight between body and soul.

Anorexia is an illness that takes on a life of its own, feeding on itself as you starve. It's a voice in your head that never, ever shuts up."

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​


#39 AmyPond

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 08:23 AM

I think the only times I have been openly rude to them when they are clearly trolls... sometimes if they are really really stupid I mistake them for trolls.

 

Same here, if someone says something about the Goddess Ana, I flip!


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"It's an addiction and a compulsion, a brain disorder and a crutch, your best friend and your worst enemy, a fight between body and soul.

Anorexia is an illness that takes on a life of its own, feeding on itself as you starve. It's a voice in your head that never, ever shuts up."

tumblr_mahz8iJlZu1qfqtcqo6_250.gif


​


#40 prescription

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 08:27 AM

Same here, if someone says something about the Goddess Ana, I flip!

I honestly wish someone would have been and rude to me before I started this whole thing. It would saved me so much pain and turmoil. If someone would have be brave enough to offend me and tell me to go away... I wouldn't be where I am today. 


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lonely-blog_20_1_-thumb-350x259-27542.jp

What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
CW: - somewhere under 110
LW 95.5
Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88


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