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How old are your kids and do they know about your ED?


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#21 SweetPetite

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Posted 02 February 2018 - 03:51 AM

I have two teenage sons and it terrifies me to think of them finding out . I do everything I can to hide it.

#22 Ana4Ever85

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:24 PM

I have a 7 and 9 year old. I make it a point to not let them know, I typically fast 24 hours and then go home and eat dinner with them. It’s usually a small amount and something healthy. I think it will be harder to hide when they get older

#23 DHH (drag me home to hell)

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Posted 26 February 2018 - 02:26 AM

My daughter is 7, almost 8, old enough to notice that my weight crashed and I'm skinny af.  When I started my treatment program I told her I was going to the doctor every day, and that the doctor talks to me about how to eat.  That's about her level of comprehension.  I also have a 2 year old son who is too young to understand any of it.  


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#24 little one

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 10:10 PM

My daughter is 6 and she hasn't really picked up on it.

 

She knows that Mommy was sick and had to stay with the doctor and do a program with the doctor for awhile (inpatient, PHP and IOP for suicidal ideation/self-harm/depression etc) and she knows that I quit work because of the same issue.

 

We've just told her that I'm doing what I need to be healthy and that covers it.

 

She used to like to work out with me, but I haven't worked out in awhile.


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#25 shannie

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Posted 24 March 2018 - 06:26 PM

My kids are out of college and they both know because my anorexia didnt start until they were in high school. I'm a late bloomer lol
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#26 Hjo

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 09:08 AM

I've always remained honest with my kids (10 and 6) but it's kinda hard when you're so underweight and in and out of the hospital (not just for the ED). My daughter, the 10 year old knows everything because kids have wild imaginations and I'd rather she know the facts instead of filling in the blanks herself. I even had to explain self harm because she caught a peek of scars....that was a horrible conversation. I feel like a terrible mom

#27 Roo-barb

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 11:20 AM

I've always remained honest with my kids (10 and 6) but it's kinda hard when you're so underweight and in and out of the hospital (not just for the ED). My daughter, the 10 year old knows everything because kids have wild imaginations and I'd rather she know the facts instead of filling in the blanks herself. I even had to explain self harm because she caught a peek of scars....that was a horrible conversation. I feel like a terrible mom

I have a 12 week old baby girl and I have no idea what I'm going to tell her about my scars. How did she take the conversation?

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#28 Hjo

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 02:28 PM

I have a 12 week old baby girl and I have no idea what I'm going to tell her about my scars. How did she take the conversation?

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I have a full sleeve tattoo on my left arm I got before she could really comprehend but she caught a glimpse of my thighs. I just explained to her that sometimes I have emotions so strong I don't know what to do with them so I hurt myself but that this was in no way a good way to deal with things. I told her it was something I'm trying not to do but sometimes it still happens. She was like "why on earth would you do that?" So I explained again I allowed for all her questions except she wanted to see but I wouldn't show her again. After that she just kinda shrugged her shoulders and asked if I wanted to play doll. She never spoke of it again. So I'm assuming she took it well
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#29 simplythin

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 12:43 PM

My son is 10. I doubt he knows what an ED is but he’s very perceptive. He knows I don’t like to eat much and he knows I have poor body image. Just the other day we were shopping and I wanted work out pants. We are in the store and he’s saying “Mom you think you’re fat but you’re not so why do you work out?”. I try to cover it all the time with responses like “to be healthy and strong”. “ I know I’m not fat but too tone up”. I always push food on him because he’s skinny anyway and I don’t want him to have an unhealthy relationship with food but I do talk to him about healthy food choices and bad food choices. I worry when he’s older and tries to fix me. He loves to take care of me and look out for me already. It’s not a conversation I want to have with him but I will one day.

#30 FullyFunctional

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Posted 03 April 2018 - 04:40 PM

12, 7, and 2. The older one asks why I sometimes don’t eat. I tell him not to worry about it, I’m good and not hungry. The middle questions why I don’t eat dinner with the family, and I just use doing the dinner dishes and getting the toddler to bed as an excuse. They notice it’s weird, but not so much that they aren’t easily placated by an honest response that gives the least amount of information possible. I’m not sure how long that’ll last, though. My big kid is very proud of his nosiness and if I ever really come on his radar, he’s not going to give up.
"How many seconds in eternity?" The Shepards Boy says, "There's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away, the first second of eternity will have passed."
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#31 WorriedMoon

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 01:58 AM

Three. I thought I was hiding things well, but kids are so observant...he knows that something is off. 

 

Is he going to grow up without ever having a normal, sit-down meal with his mother when I eat whatever everyone else eats? Is he going to have a full day with me when I'm not off to exercise for hours? The number of hours that I am losing with him, the memories that we're not making together...it breaks my heart. 

 

I thought I beat this before having a child. And I was okay, for a time.

 

But in the end, I was wrong.


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#32 LudaD

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Posted 13 April 2018 - 01:21 AM

My son is 10 I do not think he knows what ED but still, he understands that something is wrong and mom has some health issue. Last year he even started getting bad marks at school, I work a lot and not able to control everything. so, I even had to find tutors for him, hope it will help.



#33 Kebechet88

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Posted 14 April 2018 - 12:27 PM

My daughter is 9 and she doesn't know (I dont think) but she does make me a lot of snacks with her and always reminds me to eat.

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#34 Skyla-grey

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Posted 14 April 2018 - 12:52 PM

I've been wondering recently whether to tell my Daughter too. I have always tried to hide it from her, but I'm a single Mum and she is alone with me, she has never known me to eat normally and I'm wondering whether it would be better to explain in simple terms just so that she at least doesn't think my behaviour is normal. I've been inpatient 4 times in the last year, not for ED but general psych hospital, but she just thinks it's for some physical conditions that I have too.
I looked up recently whether you should tell your kids and I found the answer to be yes, because uncertainty is scarier for them. It said to say that Mummy has a condition that makes eating difficult, and sometimes it makes you eat too much and sometimes not enough. And that it isn't a choice, and that you're trying to get better and Drs are helping. Also to say that it's normal for everyone to eat a bit more or less sometimes, and that's Ok, but for you it's a problem because it's every day. I'm still yet to talk to my Daughter though, because I know there's no going back once I do.

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#35 SunnyK

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 08:16 PM

Has anyone else had a frank and open, honest conversation with their older kids?  What you say, Skyla-gray makes a lot of sense.  I think I am just too chicken to have the right conversation.


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#36 vegandancerstruggling

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Posted 01 May 2018 - 12:56 AM

My son is 3. I don't think he really understands but there have been times when I'm not eating he tries to feed me his food and it breaks my heart but I think he's just doing that because it's what toddlers do. I don't think he has and idea about not eating to lose weight.

#37 maicap22

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 05:03 AM

Mine is 4. I don't think he knows. In our house, each of us only eats when hungry so we have different eating schedule. We only eat at the same time when we eat out or if we order for a delivery. Sometimes he knocks on the door when I am taking too long in the bath but I always say I'm taking a dump. He saw the vomit a couple of times in the bowl when he wanted to go and I was still not done but I just said it's a different kind of poop. Ugh.

 

Sometimes, he makes me eat his snacks but I'll just pretend to put it in my mouth even if I put it back in the container or if I really put it in my mouth, I will spit it out when he's not looking. I dunno how it will go about when he's older and understand things much better.


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#38 AiryBones

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 10:56 PM

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and neither know. They’re both very young and I don’t ever want them to understand what I’m doing.

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#39 Tasha25

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Posted 21 July 2018 - 03:44 PM

I have an almost 8 year old and a 2 year old, they don't know anything
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#40 grimconfetti

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Posted 23 July 2018 - 08:51 PM

i have a 10 year old daughter, she doesn't know about my ed, and i hope she never finds out.


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