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Sharing Our Poetry and Prose

everyone share ILiveToMosh poetry prose writing expression no judgement

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#1 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:32 PM

I have seen a lot of members post their own poetry or prose or short stories, and what have you. But, I don't currently of knowing any threads where we can all share our writing with each other, and just be supportive. My voice is in my writing. I would love to be able to talk to all of you!! I would love for you all to talk back. <3

Please, share anything you feel comfortable sharing. No matter how long, how short, how triggering, or how cruddy you may think it is, I'm sure I will love it. And everyone else<3 (:


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#2 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:36 PM

I will get us started

Here is one of mine from quite a while back

I was in my Junior Year of High School when I wrote this

Absolute Hell

 

Stop it! Just Stop it! (1/28/13)

  Bones, bones, and more bones.

Bones rhymes with bones.

I slam my bones against my bones.

And then I phone home.

  I fail, and then I cry.

Then I’m done. Then I die.

I take my heart, for it is mine.

I break my heart, for it is mine.

  It all wilts, and turns to dust.

I burn my soul, and eat the crust.

I burn myself, I fear I must.

I take a blade to my bust.

  I compile the bile that is my thoughts.

My tears corrode the rose you bought.

I weep for everything, and accomplish naught.

I despise the lies my elders taught.

  All the old women looking into my eyes

Bathe me in rays that are only lies.

I am hearing words I know are not mine.

I know I will hear nothing at all, in time.

  Time, as I, does not exist.

You cannot hold it in your fists.

The faster you try, the faster it slips.

You’re better off slitting your wrists.


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#3 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:37 PM

Just a little about me, my titles don't always immediately relate to the poem or the words therein. ^


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#4 Granmamma

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:42 PM

You write beautifully, such truth and raw emotion in that. I love it!


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#5 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:57 PM

You write beautifully, such truth and raw emotion in that. I love it!

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you (: <3

I'm sure you write, too! Would you ever share?


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#6 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 September 2014 - 11:57 PM

What am I Even Talking About? (1/28/13)

  Goddamn you. Stop being so dumb.

You’re going to waste all your ink.

There’s now indentions on your digits & thumb,

And no one cares what you think.

  Little tiny plastic hearts, breaking into shards.

Slicing and dicing you, laughing at you.

Didn’t you know life is hard

Especially when everyone’s against you?

  Cut, cut, cut, cut your skin.

Bleed a little more.

Once it leaves, so will sin,

So keep it up you selfish whore.

  Oh gosh, I would donate blood

But no one needs this shit in them

It’s my own fault. I’m no good.

I am NOT a victim.

  I am the soil trampled in a riot.

I am the first beam that collapses in a fire.

I am the bleeding hymen of quiet.

I am the king who kills his own empire.

  I cry, I die, I resuscitate.

I bleed, I breathe, I whine.

I cry until I suffocate.

I laugh. I do this all the time.


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#7 Granmamma

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:02 AM

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you (: <3

I'm sure you write, too! Would you ever share?

<3<3

I do write, I'm trying to find some of my stuff! I have a new computer but I probably have a few of my writings on MPA, so I'm going to hunt them down and put them here! Really love your stuff, great writing style, it's deep and raw and just great


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#8 Granmamma

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:07 AM

Ok, found one I wrote about 3 weeks ago following a near suicide attempt. 

 

I reached out for help

And you pushed me away

How can I imagine asking again?

 

There was a time I thought you cared

I thought I could trust you

I was wrong.

 

We have seen so much pain

The departure of friends from this life

And yet you cannot stop and genuinely want to know how I am, and put in a few minutes to help me.

 

As I stand with a blade in one hand

And a rope in the other

I wonder if maybe you’ll feel some regret when I’m gone

 

If you’ll wish you’d called or hugged me or said you cared.

If you’ll think maybe things could have been different.

But you probably won’t.

 

I only wish one thing for you – that you live

That you are happy and free from pain

Because I would gladly bear all your pain myself even if you’d never hear of my pain.

 

So maybe tonight is a break from reality or maybe it’s goodbye

Maybe it’s your bloody name in my skin

Or maybe it’s a cut that won’t ever heal

 

Either way, live on. Don’t let me drag you down.

You have a future, and a wonderful life to live.

Just don’t make this mistake again. 


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#9 Charlie Madison

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:07 AM

Gone

 

A razor blade

A blood stained floor

The cries of a girl

Wanting more

 

An unread note

A scarred wrist

Another story

With another twist

 

Never loved

And never seen

A little girl

A horror scene

 

In only a moment

There’s no more pain

Too many feelings

Too hard to explain

 

A small gathering

Everyone in black

Saying goodbye

To a life they want back.


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"Someday you won't remember, this pain you thought would last forever and ever."


#10 Granmamma

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:10 AM

And then just something I wrote I think the same night, when I was pissed off and suicidal..

 

I thought you cared. I always thought you FUCKING CARED. I was wrong. I reached out to you tonight, in a very dark place. And you didn’t even attempt to help me. You dropped me. I opened up as muchas I can when I’m in that state of mind, and you brushed me off. I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU. I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. AND YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL ME WHEN I’M SITTING THERE WITH BLOOD OOZING OUT OF MY WRIST AND LEG, AND WITH A ROPE SHOVED UNDER MY BED – THE LOOP OF WHICH HAD NOT LONG AGO BEEN AROUND MY NECK. Thank you. I can see how important I am to you. I see how important I am to anyone. I’m just unlovable. I can’t be dealt with, no one want to deal with me. No one wants to help me when I’m falling to pieces. No one gives a flying fuck about me. There’s mom and dad. But I JUST WANT YOU TO CARE. I’M DYING FOR IT, LITERA-FUCKING-LLY. I CAN’T DEAL WITH YOU NOT CARING. PLEASE CARE!!!!.... I am suicidal.. I selfharm regularly.. I refuse to eat frequently.. when I’m not refusing to eat I’m B/Ping.. I’m under pressure with school, I can’t stop that though, I just have to learn to live with. But I CAN’T LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE IDEA (FACT?) THAT YOU JUST DON’T CARE.

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER

FUCK YOU

LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE

AS FUCKING IF

THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW

NOT FUCKING ALWAYS.

I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE, I CRIED OUT FOR YOUR HELP. AND YOU GAVE ME GENERIC “DON’T GIVE UP, TOMORROW’S A NEW DAY” SHIT AND SAID GOOD NITE. NO. JUST NO. 

WHY DON’T YOU CARE??? I’D GIVE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. AND YOU CAN’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT ME, AFTER ALL THE SUICIDES WE’VE GONE THROUGH LATELY SO CLOSE TO HOME, AND I TRY TO TELL YOU I’M THINKING LIKE THAT, BUT NOOO, WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? MAYBE YOU THINK THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME. WELL SORRY, YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME FOR NOW, TILL THE NEXT TIME I REACH OUT AND YOU SLAP MY HAND AWAY.

HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY ONCE I’M GONE. 


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#11 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:46 AM

Ok, found one I wrote about 3 weeks ago following a near suicide attempt. 

 

I reached out for help

And you pushed me away

How can I imagine asking again?

 

There was a time I thought you cared

I thought I could trust you

I was wrong.

 

We have seen so much pain

The departure of friends from this life

And yet you cannot stop and genuinely want to know how I am, and put in a few minutes to help me.

 

As I stand with a blade in one hand

And a rope in the other

I wonder if maybe you’ll feel some regret when I’m gone

 

If you’ll wish you’d called or hugged me or said you cared.

If you’ll think maybe things could have been different.

But you probably won’t.

 

I only wish one thing for you – that you live

That you are happy and free from pain

Because I would gladly bear all your pain myself even if you’d never hear of my pain.

 

So maybe tonight is a break from reality or maybe it’s goodbye

Maybe it’s your bloody name in my skin

Or maybe it’s a cut that won’t ever heal

 

Either way, live on. Don’t let me drag you down.

You have a future, and a wonderful life to live.

Just don’t make this mistake again. 

Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry. I wish they could just be there for you.


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#12 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:49 AM

Gone

 

A razor blade

A blood stained floor

The cries of a girl

Wanting more

 

An unread note

A scarred wrist

Another story

With another twist

 

Never loved

And never seen

A little girl

A horror scene

 

In only a moment

There’s no more pain

Too many feelings

Too hard to explain

 

A small gathering

Everyone in black

Saying goodbye

To a life they want back.

I'm feeling a lot of different sides to this. Being the girl, also watching the girl as she's slipping away. A third-party watcher, feeling that you're losing yourself. Ending it all, being the one watching her be lowered into the ground. Those short, choppy sentences say a lot, too. Very powerful. Thank you for letting me read it.


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#13 Granmamma

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 01:52 AM

Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry. I wish they could just be there for you.

Thanks <3 She's starting to come around. Actually, she decided it'd be a great idea to tell half the town about all my issues after one friend told her some little bits of info and she figured out the rest <_< So, at least she cares, but I'd rather her have done it before I stopped giving a shit what she thinks :P


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#14 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 02:00 AM

And then just something I wrote I think the same night, when I was pissed off and suicidal..

 

I thought you cared. I always thought you FUCKING CARED. I was wrong. I reached out to you tonight, in a very dark place. And you didn’t even attempt to help me. You dropped me. I opened up as muchas I can when I’m in that state of mind, and you brushed me off. I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU. I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. AND YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL ME WHEN I’M SITTING THERE WITH BLOOD OOZING OUT OF MY WRIST AND LEG, AND WITH A ROPE SHOVED UNDER MY BED – THE LOOP OF WHICH HAD NOT LONG AGO BEEN AROUND MY NECK. Thank you. I can see how important I am to you. I see how important I am to anyone. I’m just unlovable. I can’t be dealt with, no one want to deal with me. No one wants to help me when I’m falling to pieces. No one gives a flying fuck about me. There’s mom and dad. But I JUST WANT YOU TO CARE. I’M DYING FOR IT, LITERA-FUCKING-LLY. I CAN’T DEAL WITH YOU NOT CARING. PLEASE CARE!!!!.... I am suicidal.. I selfharm regularly.. I refuse to eat frequently.. when I’m not refusing to eat I’m B/Ping.. I’m under pressure with school, I can’t stop that though, I just have to learn to live with. But I CAN’T LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE IDEA (FACT?) THAT YOU JUST DON’T CARE.

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER

FUCK YOU

LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE

AS FUCKING IF

THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW

NOT FUCKING ALWAYS.

I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE, I CRIED OUT FOR YOUR HELP. AND YOU GAVE ME GENERIC “DON’T GIVE UP, TOMORROW’S A NEW DAY” SHIT AND SAID GOOD NITE. NO. JUST NO. 

WHY DON’T YOU CARE??? I’D GIVE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. AND YOU CAN’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT ME, AFTER ALL THE SUICIDES WE’VE GONE THROUGH LATELY SO CLOSE TO HOME, AND I TRY TO TELL YOU I’M THINKING LIKE THAT, BUT NOOO, WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? MAYBE YOU THINK THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME. WELL SORRY, YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME FOR NOW, TILL THE NEXT TIME I REACH OUT AND YOU SLAP MY HAND AWAY.

HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY ONCE I’M GONE. 

This was really hard to read. I lost a beautiful, young friend when I was very young. She hung herself.

She sent out texts, saying goodbye almost a year before she did it. People stopped her. Like they cared. But when word got out, people just made fun of her for it, eventually, her parents wouldn't even talk to her about it, it was just the school counselor. I can't help but imagine it was feelings like these running through her mind when she ended it. Please, try to hold out. There will be people that miss you. And a lot of people who will have guilt. And they will blame themselves for the rest of their lives. I am one of those people. I was so fixed on the idea that she just looked so happy and perfect. I was one of those kids who plastered on a fake face to the world. I should have been able to see it. I COULD HAVE SAVED HER! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER! Now, I know that those sweatbands on her wrists were just hiding her cuts. That beautiful smile was only hiding her pain. It's my fault. I let her die, alone, misunderstood. When I should have known better. I should have been able to tell that she was in need and that she was still struggling. I failed her.

 

R.I.P. Beautiful Krista Dean McGee 9/11/1994-1/27/2011


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#15 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 02:01 AM

Thanks <3 She's starting to come around. Actually, she decided it'd be a great idea to tell half the town about all my issues after one friend told her some little bits of info and she figured out the rest <_< So, at least she cares, but I'd rather her have done it before I stopped giving a shit what she thinks :P

Yeah, it always happens like that. Too little, too late.


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#16 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 02:02 AM

The Wound

I put my saliva over the wound. It didn’t heal.
I lock myself in a room and sulk about emotions I shouldn’t feel.
It’s a fixation of sorts- I pick at the abscess you left in your absence.
It’s the creation of wars that shut out pestilence.
Kill all that’s inside you. Never hurt again.
Forget the promise; Untrue. Never again someone’s abandon.
Learn from the scars. Assess and reassess.
I try to push you from my thoughts, making little progress.
Still, seeing your face brings light to mine.
I dream about you time after time.
I pledge to you just another meaningless rhyme.
Although, I know, you will never be mine.
A scar is all I have to remind me of you,
Another broken memory of how I am so uncouth.
Another mindless, broken-hearted youth.
But if you gave me a chance, I could show so much love to you.
That will never happen. I’ll be left without your light.
I’ll be just a shadow in your life, and for that too, I must fight.
I’ll give you happiness by staying out of your life.
I’ll sleep through the pain of cupid’s jagged knife;
Wedged between my soul and breast,
Giving my spirit no length of rest.
Breaking slowly, but still learning to be content,
I am losing determination, and the time I had spent.
I accept that you will never, ever love me.
But, I’ll always have this wound, in my heart, where you cut me.


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#17 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 02:03 AM

^ stupid, sappy love poem because I'm an unlovable twat c:


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#18 Guest_thecolorofwater_*

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Posted 09 September 2014 - 12:12 PM

Losing my faith

When I was young god took me out to eat
He said "whatever you want is my treat"
"I known you're afraid but its just me and you"
So I chose the best dish on the menu
But it appeared that god had gone away
He left me with a bill to pay
The waiter was waiting but I couldn't find what to say
So I got up and ran away
Time went passed
I ran so fast
But I was always left behind
And there were answers that I had to find
So I reflected on that day
On the first time I had to pay
And I realised that god was never there
I had eaten lunch with an empty chair

#19 rotting💀

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Posted 09 September 2014 - 12:18 PM

I found this in my blog from when my boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan and I was a meeessss...


It's critical that we don't talk

You don't want to know how much I drink

I don't want to know about the bombs

 

But it's beyond that

It's imperative we don't see the green circle

"Online"

 

We know what's happening

We know it's happening

We don't care that it's happening

We just want to be able

 

To see each other's faces in 374..373...372

And never think about the bottles above the sink

Or the look in your eyes that creeps into my heart and

Weighs us both down

 

We can't forget if we never remember


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#20 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 09 September 2014 - 07:25 PM

That makes me think about when I would go on base to visit my Dad, and how much he drank when he came back home. He was broken, and in crutches but not everything healed.


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