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Sharing Our Poetry and Prose

everyone share ILiveToMosh poetry prose writing expression no judgement

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#21 DIAИA

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Posted 10 September 2014 - 12:16 AM

This is a SMALL part of a story/novel I have written and re-written for a while now. It is very personal but I think all of us sh, ana, mia - girls can relate to the text somehow.

 

 

 

Hospital 2007
I remember holding your hand, with dried blood under your finger nails and tears in your eyes. The razorblades were piano keys and they played songs of sorrow on your soft skin. You were only 16 years only a child, a child with shadows deep in the eyes.  And that is how I shall remember your eyes not hazel, but black, dark, hollow and black. You were so thin, so small just sixteen with a soul that had lived a lifetime. You did not dare to believe in happiness so you continued to fall because that is the only thing that you were really good at.


You started crying again, and I let you do that.
Grief can be so beautiful at times, in its simplicity. I hugged you and whispered;
- It will not stop here. Not like this. Not now. Not tonight.

You looked back and had you not been crammed with lethal pills you would had answered me that It was nothing that I could do.


I know you that you hate every breath you take, but you are breathing and that is what really matters.


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#22 SkinnySlytherin

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Posted 10 September 2014 - 02:31 AM

Gone

A razor blade
A blood stained floor
The cries of a girl
Wanting more

An unread note
A scarred wrist
Another story
With another twist

Never loved
And never seen
A little girl
A horror scene

In only a moment
There’s no more pain
Too many feelings
Too hard to explain

A small gathering
Everyone in black
Saying goodbye
To a life they want back.


This is awesome! I love it!

"Raise a glass to the quiet ones, those select Slytherin girls,

the unassuming, the almost modest,

and remember that although they may be less brash than their fellow sisters,

they will by no means tolerate those who get in their way."

 

 

'Maybe someday I'll be

in a place where I can see

that I'm not wired wrong...'

 

'Conceal, don't feel,

Put on a show
Make one wrong move and everyone will know'

 

'The Devil in the mirror

Screaming that my heart is flawed

I'm never gonna let you win

No I will not surrender,

even if I start to fall

I swear to you I'll rise again'

 

'If we stand together we will be unbroken'

 

 

 

Height: 5'8"
HW: 137 lbs
LW: 110 lbs

CW: 131 lbs

 

 

 

 

UGW: 108 lbs

SUGW: 98 lbs


#23 SkinnySlytherin

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Posted 10 September 2014 - 02:38 AM

Losing my faith

When I was young god took me out to eat
He said "whatever you want is my treat"
"I known you're afraid but its just me and you"
So I chose the best dish on the menu
But it appeared that god had gone away
He left me with a bill to pay
The waiter was waiting but I couldn't find what to say
So I got up and ran away
Time went passed
I ran so fast
But I was always left behind
And there were answers that I had to find
So I reflected on that day
On the first time I had to pay
And I realised that god was never there
I had eaten lunch with an empty chair


I like one, I like the twist at the end

"Raise a glass to the quiet ones, those select Slytherin girls,

the unassuming, the almost modest,

and remember that although they may be less brash than their fellow sisters,

they will by no means tolerate those who get in their way."

 

 

'Maybe someday I'll be

in a place where I can see

that I'm not wired wrong...'

 

'Conceal, don't feel,

Put on a show
Make one wrong move and everyone will know'

 

'The Devil in the mirror

Screaming that my heart is flawed

I'm never gonna let you win

No I will not surrender,

even if I start to fall

I swear to you I'll rise again'

 

'If we stand together we will be unbroken'

 

 

 

Height: 5'8"
HW: 137 lbs
LW: 110 lbs

CW: 131 lbs

 

 

 

 

UGW: 108 lbs

SUGW: 98 lbs


#24 SkinnySlytherin

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Posted 10 September 2014 - 03:07 AM

This is a very random one of mine :)

The forest

Standing still like wooden soldiers,
Not moving or flinching.
The wind howls around and the rain batters down,
But the trees stand firm, hold on to their ground.

The leaves all turn brown and drop to the floor,
Yet the trees still stand so tall and proud.

Oh what I give to be like the trees.
Free, strong and unflinching,
When the wind howls around and the rain batters down

I've written quite a few poems and most of them have something to do with an ED...
  • ILiveToMosh likes this

"Raise a glass to the quiet ones, those select Slytherin girls,

the unassuming, the almost modest,

and remember that although they may be less brash than their fellow sisters,

they will by no means tolerate those who get in their way."

 

 

'Maybe someday I'll be

in a place where I can see

that I'm not wired wrong...'

 

'Conceal, don't feel,

Put on a show
Make one wrong move and everyone will know'

 

'The Devil in the mirror

Screaming that my heart is flawed

I'm never gonna let you win

No I will not surrender,

even if I start to fall

I swear to you I'll rise again'

 

'If we stand together we will be unbroken'

 

 

 

Height: 5'8"
HW: 137 lbs
LW: 110 lbs

CW: 131 lbs

 

 

 

 

UGW: 108 lbs

SUGW: 98 lbs


#25 thestarsandthemoon

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Posted 10 September 2014 - 06:40 PM

I remember writing this a few weeks before they sent me to a hospital last year...I was just not in a really happy place then, and when I'm upset, I tend to write. So this was the result. 

 

Porcelain Dolls

 

I don't remember how it started
Or even when it all mattered to me
The counting, the amount, the grams
All I know is that she's embedded in me
Weaved into the very cells that make up my skin
Tangled within the infinite strand that identifies me
Molding my clay brain into the spitting image of an angel
She defines me, she is me.

 

I am led to the line of porcelain dolls
Pretty painted eyes and lips, long fake lashes and cheeks tinted pink
They're dressed in soft, flowing dresses that cling to their limp limbs
My hand reaches out to brush a strand of hair from one of the defined faces
Her void eyes punctuate holes into my beating heart
And there is something stirring inside me and I come closer and closer and -
She is cold to the touch and her hair falls into my hand.

 

Do you remember the days when the sky turned black
And your very essence was sucked into the void of space?
Do you remember how the truthful lies created its own song in your mind
And the only thing visible with your weak flashlight was the pouring rain?
You desperately searched for the warmth you once knew before you were alone
But even Hestia couldn't help you find your way home.

 

And now, you come to me with your bloodshot eyes and wounds carved by words
I will take you in and train you to become a warrior
So give me the tears shed from your broken song and I will turn them into an anthem of self-control
Give me your cries of sorrow and I will teach you how to see the beauty of your bones
Give me your pain and scars and I will give you wings to break your fall
And give me your bruised heart and I will make you a porcelain doll.


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and the scars are my spoils of war
the only remaining evidence of the battle against myself
so do not tell me to throw them away into the cold winter breeze
hidden under the fluffy sweaters and smell of cookies
they remind me of the struggle in order to be here today
and act as the timeline of all the moments when nobody cared.


HW: 145
LW: 115.6

CW: 124.8 (I can't even look at myself in the mirror right now)
UGW: 100

- Ella

Instagram: thestarsandthemoon

#26 Guest_besdw_*

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 02:37 PM

deleted, sorry


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#27 SkinnySlytherin

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 06:24 PM

Here's another of mine :) I have a fair few, if anyone wants more just let me know :)

She looks in the mirror,
It whispers lies.

She looks in the mirror,
It doubles her size.

She looks in the mirror,
She wants to cry

She looks in the mirror,
Why me she sighs.

Her frame is weak,
Her frame is frail,
But she cannot see,
She thinks she's a whale.

Her small body lies defeated,
In the cold hospital bed,
Her weight is too small,
She has no spark at all,
Anorexia claims her,
As she slips from this world,
Into a place where she'll be forever at peace
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"Raise a glass to the quiet ones, those select Slytherin girls,

the unassuming, the almost modest,

and remember that although they may be less brash than their fellow sisters,

they will by no means tolerate those who get in their way."

 

 

'Maybe someday I'll be

in a place where I can see

that I'm not wired wrong...'

 

'Conceal, don't feel,

Put on a show
Make one wrong move and everyone will know'

 

'The Devil in the mirror

Screaming that my heart is flawed

I'm never gonna let you win

No I will not surrender,

even if I start to fall

I swear to you I'll rise again'

 

'If we stand together we will be unbroken'

 

 

 

Height: 5'8"
HW: 137 lbs
LW: 110 lbs

CW: 131 lbs

 

 

 

 

UGW: 108 lbs

SUGW: 98 lbs


#28 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 02 October 2014 - 08:00 AM

THESE ARE ALL SO GOOD

and full of emotion

and well written

we are a very talented bunch


Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#29 sleepiewinks

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Posted 02 October 2014 - 09:07 AM

I thought I would share it pretty crap 

 

 

Pain is no stranger to me

Pain is no stranger to me,
We've been friends for years,
Starting with words that cut soul deep,
Then to the blade which showed my soul,
Pain is no stranger to me

From the young girl, 
Who was called dumb by the man I adored the most,
All I wanted was for that man to open his eyes, 
And accept the love I tried to give,
But no,
He was blind to all that I showed,
Pain is no stranger to me

As I grew into the light,
My soul lingers in the shadows,
Wounded by rejection and pain,
And love that never came my way,
Pain is no stranger to me 

I am a women now,
Lost it the world,
Unable to love,
Unable to feel,
My body is numb,
My soul is dead, 
So I just gave up,
And as I take my last breath,
Pain is now a stranger to me

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#30 Guest_besdw_*

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Posted 04 October 2014 - 07:39 AM

I thought I would share it pretty crap 
 
 
Pain is no stranger to me[/size]
Pain is no stranger to me,
We've been friends for years,
Starting with words that cut soul deep,
Then to the blade which showed my soul,
Pain is no stranger to me
From the young girl, 
Who was called dumb by the man I adored the most,
All I wanted was for that man to open his eyes, 
And accept the love I tried to give,
But no,
He was blind to all that I showed,
Pain is no stranger to me
As I grew into the light,
My soul lingers in the shadows,
Wounded by rejection and pain,
And love that never came my way,
Pain is no stranger to me 
I am a women now,
Lost it the world,
Unable to love,
Unable to feel,
My body is numb,
My soul is dead, 
So I just gave up,
And as I take my last breath,
Pain is now a stranger to me


I love this.

#31 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 07 May 2017 - 08:16 PM

Aw

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#32 Guest_PrettyBoysDontEat_*

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 10:13 AM

Possible TW (suicide)





Death hated himself so that
Even with the souls of the listless
And the hearts of the demented
In his hands
He hung himself upon his scythe
And when the last drunk man fell
He let the rope around his neck
Grow taunt and tight
But screamed in fright
With knowing that he can never escape
His own twisted and demonic body
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#33 Maiabutterfly

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 02:56 PM

This is one of my poems about me and my ed talking from different perspective. My voice, the ed's voice and both argueing. Let me know what you think. :)

 

Xo

 

Only you and me

Now it’s only you and me,
it is through you the world I see.
Trapped inside a demon that makes me feel good,
no critic only truth about what I always should.
Always alone but never alone,
it’s something I am and nothing I own.
A shoulder to rest my head to,
even tho the thoughts will never ever let go.

 

Your mine, I am you,
cause of me you always know what to do.
Just black and white, never grey,
you listen to every world I say.
A try is not a win, a good is not a great,
I make you feel alive and I am always here to wait.
Every day I believe in you,
even when no one else do.
It is easy when people ask you why,
I am standing behind you with a good little lie.

 

Locked behind a mask and every day I try to survive,
lies and hiding just forced to stay alive.
Took left road instead of right a while ago,
and ever since I’ve kept my head low.
A battle in my head constant running on high speed,
I want to have all control but someone else have got the lead.
Telling me what is good and bad,
never afraid of making me sad.
She took away my moments of laugh,
you are not worth it your never good enough.
The road I’m walking is a thin line,
I want to jump it off and start to shine.

 

- Let me go.
- You need me.
- I want to be free.
- I teach you how.
- The thought in my head is killing me.
- Together we control them.
- Are you sure?
- Just believe in me, I will never let you down.

 

_______________________


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Your dream doesn't have an experation date. Take a deep breath and try again.

 

Maia

 

cw: 131.2

BMI: 17.8

5'10''

 

sw: 174

gw: 132

ugw: 120

 

173-172-171-170-169-168-167-166-165-164-163-162-161-160-159-158-157-156-155-154-153-152-151-150-149-148-147-146-145-144-

143-142-141-140-139-138-137-136-135-134-133-132-131-130-129-128-127-126-125-124-123-122-121-120


#34 Pixi

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 08:36 PM

There’s a shift in my brain that I can’t explain.

Taking me back to a time, when they called me insane.

Back to when they searched for someone to blame.

And I watch, as they slowly forget my name,

Get into bed as they call me another,

as if I am some kind of old game

and I just don’t bother to play along

I just stay right here,

curled up under the covers.


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 tumblr_or7pqmMyby1t7zhjco5_r1_250.giftumblr_oy1jcagacw1t7zhjco1_250.giftumblr_or7pqmMyby1t7zhjco8_r1_250.giftumblr_oy1jcagacw1t7zhjco1_250.giftumblr_oxvyy9B9se1t7zhjco6_r1_250.gif

 

                                                                                                         tumblr_or7pqmMyby1t7zhjco2_r1_400.jpg

       

 


#35 Thin-Skinned

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 12:22 PM

I pinch my fat as I look in the mirror

I'm just one big error

I want to see ribs

I want my legs to look like twigs

I begin to wonder if I'm crazy

Everything seems a little hazy

I shouldn't have skipped lunch

Though yesterday I ate a bunch

I look at my collarbones

I wish I would lose a couple stones

I wish I was thinner

I think I'm gonna skip dinner


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CW: 62 kg (137 lbs) :(

UGW: 45 kg (99 lbs)

Height: 170 cm (5'6)

BMI: 21.5

 

 

 

 

 


#36 Maiabutterfly

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:03 PM

My spoken words, someone who recognize themselves?

I want to be understood
I want to be understood. I want people to understand me. But how can someone else understand me when I don’t even understand myself? I look at myself, from the inside and out, all I see is failure. I’ve failed. Failed to be an athlete, failed to success, failed to be a decent human being. I didn’t want to be ordinary, I wanted to be extraordinary. And I’m not even that, I’m below average, I’m at the bottom. If there is anything positive in all of it then it must be that it can only get better from here. But that’s what I said the last time too. The thing is, whenever you think you hit rock bottom that’s just you telling yourself that it can’t be worse now because you don’t want to face it. Face the reality of that there is no rock bottom, you can always sink lower as long as you’re breathing. Breathing. That’s all I can. Or could. Nowadays even breathing can be troubling. It’s like drowning in yourself, reaching for air but all you feel is pain. Why? Some days I still wonder why things happened the way they did. They say it wasn’t me, but it’s always me. So I don’t understand. I don’t understand the world, I don’t understand why it happened, I don’t understand me. So how could I ever believe that someone else sees my pain or understand how I feel when I don’t even understand myself? 

Xo Maia


  • ILiveToMosh likes this

Your dream doesn't have an experation date. Take a deep breath and try again.

 

Maia

 

cw: 131.2

BMI: 17.8

5'10''

 

sw: 174

gw: 132

ugw: 120

 

173-172-171-170-169-168-167-166-165-164-163-162-161-160-159-158-157-156-155-154-153-152-151-150-149-148-147-146-145-144-

143-142-141-140-139-138-137-136-135-134-133-132-131-130-129-128-127-126-125-124-123-122-121-120


#37 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 09:49 PM

Bump

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#38 Fadedbones

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Posted 29 June 2017 - 04:19 AM

I can't sleep right now, kinda OD'd with hoodia pills, and green tea pills, also I haven't been taking my meds for a while now and I'm an anxious wreck, I know this isn't near as good as any of yours, but I just wanted to share what I'm feeling right now, it's not even a poem tbh... I just wrote it.


I used to cry myself to sleep because I was hungry.
Now I cry myself to sleep because I'm too full, of life, of loneliness.
Fat.
My heart beats faster, faster by the minute.
And I tremble.
And I tremble, not because I'm cold, but because I took one too many pills again.
I'm the vessel to the anxiety of the world, it seems.
It's four o clock in the morning but I still hear the silence of the night.
It only gets louder. Louder. LOUDER.
A crowd of thoughts is talking.
A crowd of me's recalling.
Broken me's...
And the faith dissolves in the big glass of water that's meant to be my blood.
Without a soul.
In a cage that's my own.
How could I let go?
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tumblr_lwdtkn448w1r8058ko1_500.gif

 

 


#39 read.dont.eat

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Posted 02 July 2017 - 11:14 AM

I wrote this poem a while back when I was a wannarexic (I know, I was annoying myself, too). But man, now that I'm stuck this hits hard.

 

calories

counting

amounting to me

lying

crying

dying to be

skinny

small

light as a dove

less

less

so I can be loved

 

 


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#40 Lilly_hi

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 10:19 PM

I don't know when I wrote this and I know it's crap but whatever



But who... who is telling the truth.

Is it you?
Saying I'm skinny and need to gain weight. Saying that I'm killing myself? Saying that I'm sick?

Or is it the girls who stop me in the hallway?
Ask me how I did it. Congratulate me on my new look. Say I'm perfect. Not to skinny, not to fat.

Or is it the mirror?
Calling out the fat around my thigh that jiggled. The roundness around my hips that bulge out of shirts that used to fit. Screaming to loose more weight, or soon I'll no longer be able to fit in to my size 0 pants.

So who tells the truth?
I can't decide. My eyes switch perspective as my days bleed in together. But who... who is telling the truth.

Is it you?
Saying I'm skinny and need to gain weight. Saying that I'm killing myself? Saying that sick?

Or is it the girls who stop me in the hallway?
Ask me how I did it. Congratulate me on my new look. Say I'm perfect. Not to skinny, not to fat.

Or is it the mirror?
Calling out the fat around my thigh that jiggled. The roundness around my hips that bulge out of shirts that used to fit. Screaming to loose more weight, or soon I'll no longer be able to fit in to my size 0 pants.

So who tells the truth?
I can't decide. My eyes switch perspective as my days bleed in together.
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