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Sharing Our Poetry and Prose

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#101 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:24 PM

Random Thoughts
 
-zombies need blood, we need human blood-
One day, I will run a classy society of people who
upon greeting will slit their wrists. It's like a handshake
and you may, at a social gathering, gain about 6 small
incisions on your wrists before dinner. It is customary
to not actually start bleeding. Everything is going to be
white and if you bleed on your dress you are a whore.
(~2012)

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#102 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:25 PM

Lmao out of all my random, non-sensical emo bullshit I think the white glove society is my favorite lmfao


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#103 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:25 PM

Shaking Hands
 
Peering through the darkness, you make out that black is red.
Like gallons upon gallons of blood dried up in your bed.
All that is not black or red; is at least brown.
The tiny veins bust open and in that poison, you drown.
Cold, grey hands reach for the suffocating faces of blue.
The truth to all things lies now before you.
Maggots fall out of your tear spout.
Searching blankly in the darkness, looking for anyway out.
Muscle spasms, convulsions, arms flail about.
Fingers with black nails are crawling their way out.
Soil burns your flesh.
You're eating a red satin dress.
Pale white lips breathe down your neck.
Correct the wrecked, wretched wretches.
Crunching the eyes of the witches.
On fire, burning the smiles of the trenches.
Pull your teeth out with your fingers.
Slice the throats of the poets and singers.
Send them all to the deepest pit.
Bathe them in lies and feed them all shit.
Eat the frozen tears they cry.
Cut the tentacles that writhe inside.
Destroy your own body and feed on the darkness.
Tell yourself how easy it is to be heartless.
(~2013)

Desmond

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#104 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:26 PM

So Fat Today
 
I don't know why I love doing this to myself.
I work so damn hard, I put myself through hell.
I have to binge, just to undo everything I worked so hard to get.
It makes me feel that one day, I'll quit.
But I need to be thin. I will fall and get back up.
I will not let them win. The ones who call me a fuck-up.
I will be thin. I will. I must. I need.
I will show them. I will cut my bones and watch them bleed.
I'm cutting myself in class, we're supposed to be watching a movie.
My days of eating are past. I'm drinking Vitamin Water, which is now food to me.
I want to tough Gabe with my cold, anemic hands.
I want skinny to be present, and not some far off plan.
How long have I been here? And all over food?
How long will I choose to let myself be in this mood?
When I get skinny, I will be happy, rest assured of that.
Being thin, in all regards, is better than being fat.
I want to cut my thighs, too bad I'm wearing jeans.
I pretended to use the restroom 3x, now my hands are clean.
It hurts. The cuts hurt. My body hurts.
My legs hurt. My wrists hurt. My heart hurts.
I am fat. I am gross. I am cutting into myself.
I want to be skinny. Skinny. Skinny jeans. Skinny dresses. Skinny belts.
I want to look like Keely. She will be my thinspiration.
I will look so good when I am thin like her. I will use my imagination.
(2013 or 2014)

Desmond

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#105 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:27 PM

cringe as fucking hell

holy shit

also yeah that girl was literally like the stereotypical scene girl that lived off of air i swear to god


Desmond

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#106 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:27 PM

Starving is Good
 
Pinch in your fat tummy. Bob your knees.
Fidgeting burns calories.
Drink cold water. At least 9 glasses a day.
Exercise and make the fat go away.
Snap a band on your wrist when you think about food.
Eating is bad. Starving is good.
Clean kitty litter, make yourself sick.
Ana is glitter, life is shit.
Think about your goal weight when you want to quit.
The body that you want is always worth it.
Will you let food ruin your plans?
Yell at the food! Berate! Reprimand!
Tell the food it’s as worthless as you make yourself feel.
The calories as empty as your stomach feels.
Tell yourself the cravings and pains aren’t real.
Be not malleable gold, be strong as steel.
You’ve come too far to take orders from a cookie.
Your body’s a school; Your food will play hooky.
When I eat, my body feels weak.
Strange, I feel better when I starve and sleep.
A flat tummy is good, a concave one is better.
A scrawny, bony boy will make the girls wetter.
A scrawny, bony girl is what society craves.
If you want to be beautiful tomorrow, starve yourself today.
(~2013)

Desmond

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#107 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:28 PM

That one was literally just "pro-ana tips" put into poetry form holy shit


Desmond

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#108 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:28 PM

Stop it! Just Stop it!
 
Bones, bones, and more bones.
Bones rhymes with bones.
I slam my bones against my bones.
And then I phone home.
I fail, and then I cry.
Then I’m done. Then I die.
I take my heart, for it is mine.
I break my heart, for it is mine.
It all wilts, and turns to dust.
I burn my soul, and eat the crust.
I burn myself, I fear I must.
I take a blade to my bust.
I compile the bile that is my thoughts.
My tears corrode the rose you bought.
I weep for everything, and accomplish naught.
I despise the lies my elders taught.
All the old women looking into my eyes
Bathe me in rays that are only lies.
I am hearing words I know are not mine.
I know I will hear nothing at all, in time.
Time, as I, does not exist.
You cannot hold it in your fists.
The faster you try, the faster it slips.
You’re better off slitting your wrists.
(~2013)

Desmond

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#109 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:29 PM

The Day I’m Waiting For
 
One day, it will all come to fruition.
One day, it will all be worth it.
The days of blood and mal-nutrition,
The days of being worthless.
The day I can finally say,
‘Goddamn. I’m not a fucking elephant.’
The day I can be happy with what I weigh.
The day my rage won’t run rampant.
The day my hands won’t shake so bad.
The day my thoughts are clearer.
The day skinny bitches won’t make me so mad.
The day I can look in the mirror.
One day, someone may,
Say that I look thin.
On that day, that fateful day,
My life will finally begin.
The day I don’t feel like shit.
The day I don’t look like shit.
The day I don’t have to write some shit.
That will only ever be shit.
The day I can feel good,
The day I no longer hate,
I will stand that day, thin & misunderstood,
I will smile and disintegrate.
(~2013)

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#110 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:30 PM

To Hear Them Say
 
Thin haunts my dreams.
Visions of being transparent,
As though no longer being distended means no longer errant,
Are causing me to fall apart at the seams.
Catching my reflection in glass,
Sets me on fire;
And my goal at then is one desire,
To disavow food as though t’were an asp.
I want that soft, pale porcelain.
Those tiny wrists and hips.
To be graceful, even as I trip.
Oh, to be thin!
My insides are twisting and caving in, 
From days of water, and nothing else.
The red on my wrists reminds me of hell,
But, Oh! To be thin!
To hear them say,
Oh, how lovely, how grand!
Your waist can now fit in my hands.
Oh, to hear them say, Destiny, you look SO thin today.
But at this moment, 
Nothing is spoken.
And this girl still is broken.
From thoughts of her body fatally missing that thin component.
(~2013)

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#111 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:30 PM

Today is a Bana-Ana Day
 
Today, during lunch, I made up a test.
I also went to the restroom, but I did not rest.
Instead I cut open my thighs.
Will anyone notice when I walk by?
In English, will someone stop to ask,
Why blood is staining my blue jean pants,
Or why I hurt myself so,
Only in hopes my fat will go?
127, still a fat whore.
But thinner than yesterday, and the day before.
Thinner, but not thin. How very, very sad.
And that will be my reason for cutting so bad.
I want to be under 115 by Valentine's Day.
I want this body to leave, and Ana to stay.
I want Gabe to love me, for this I pray.
For this, I must be thin. I must rot away.
Anything 'Destiny', I shall not want.
I shall become, and I shall stay, deliciously gaunt.
I want to be so thin, people weep at what I am.
I want to be painfully skinny, but fat is what I am.
I need someone to say, 'You look like you're going to faint.'
I need a skinny body, free of fat or taint.
I need to be thin, (bell rings) I need to get to class.
I need to be thin. Ana, make me thin, I ask.
(~2013)

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#112 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:30 PM

Untitled #2
 
I finally heard those words today. That I'm a waste of food.
A waste of pretty much anything. But only anything good.
But not a waste of loathing; Let's give her more of that.
Maybe I'd be less worthless if I was less fat.
(~2013)

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#113 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:31 PM

Untitled
 
I live in a world of ravens.
Alas! I cannot fly.
I sit bruised, battered, craven;
And allow myself to cry.
The bittersweet acid stains my face.
Leaving it black and horrid as my soul.
In the glass I see waste,
I weep, and sob, and moan with no civility or control.
 
(~2013)

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Desmond

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#114 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:31 PM

What am I Even Talking About?
 
Goddamn you. Stop being so dumb.
You’re going to waste all your ink.
There’s now indentions on your digits & thumb,
And no one cares what you think.
Little tiny plastic hearts, breaking into shards.
Slicing and dicing you, laughing at you.
Didn’t you know life is hard
Especially when everyone’s against you?
Cut, cut, cut, cut your skin.
Bleed a little more.
Once it leaves, so will sin,
So keep it up you selfish whore.
Oh gosh, I would donate blood
But no one needs this shit in them
It’s my own fault. I’m no good.
I am NOT a victim.
I am the soil trampled in a riot.
I am the first beam that collapses in a fire.
I am the bleeding hymen of quiet.
I am the king who kills his own empire.
I cry, I die, I resuscitate.
I bleed, I breathe, I whine.
I cry until I suffocate.
I laugh. I do this all the time.
 
(~2013)

Desmond

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#115 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 03 February 2018 - 11:32 PM

Last one is kind of one of my favorites

 

Definitely not all my writing

 

A lot has been lost over the years


Desmond

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#116 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 01 December 2020 - 03:49 PM

I wanna bring this back


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#117 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 01 December 2020 - 03:50 PM

 

Today is a Bana-Ana Day
 
Today, during lunch, I made up a test.
I also went to the restroom, but I did not rest.
Instead I cut open my thighs.
Will anyone notice when I walk by?
In English, will someone stop to ask,
Why blood is staining my blue jean pants,
Or why I hurt myself so,
Only in hopes my fat will go?
127, still a fat whore.
But thinner than yesterday, and the day before.
Thinner, but not thin. How very, very sad.
And that will be my reason for cutting so bad.
I want to be under 115 by Valentine's Day.
I want this body to leave, and Ana to stay.
I want Gabe to love me, for this I pray.
For this, I must be thin. I must rot away.
Anything 'Destiny', I shall not want.
I shall become, and I shall stay, deliciously gaunt.
I want to be so thin, people weep at what I am.
I want to be painfully skinny, but fat is what I am.
I need someone to say, 'You look like you're going to faint.'
I need a skinny body, free of fat or taint.
I need to be thin, (bell rings) I need to get to class.
I need to be thin. Ana, make me thin, I ask.
(~2013)

 

cringe 

help


Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#118 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 01 December 2020 - 03:52 PM

 

To Hear Them Say
 
Thin haunts my dreams.
Visions of being transparent,
As though no longer being distended means no longer errant,
Are causing me to fall apart at the seams.
Catching my reflection in glass,
Sets me on fire;
And my goal at then is one desire,
To disavow food as though t’were an asp.
I want that soft, pale porcelain.
Those tiny wrists and hips.
To be graceful, even as I trip.
Oh, to be thin!
My insides are twisting and caving in, 
From days of water, and nothing else.
The red on my wrists reminds me of hell,
But, Oh! To be thin!
To hear them say,
Oh, how lovely, how grand!
Your waist can now fit in my hands.
Oh, to hear them say, Destiny, you look SO thin today.
But at this moment, 
Nothing is spoken.
And this girl still is broken.
From thoughts of her body fatally missing that thin component.
(~2013)

 

this is so sad 

lmaooooo


Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#119 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 01 December 2020 - 03:52 PM

 

The Day I’m Waiting For
 
One day, it will all come to fruition.
One day, it will all be worth it.
The days of blood and mal-nutrition,
The days of being worthless.
The day I can finally say,
‘Goddamn. I’m not a fucking elephant.’
The day I can be happy with what I weigh.
The day my rage won’t run rampant.
The day my hands won’t shake so bad.
The day my thoughts are clearer.
The day skinny bitches won’t make me so mad.
The day I can look in the mirror.
One day, someone may,
Say that I look thin.
On that day, that fateful day,
My life will finally begin.
The day I don’t feel like shit.
The day I don’t look like shit.
The day I don’t have to write some shit.
That will only ever be shit.
The day I can feel good,
The day I no longer hate,
I will stand that day, thin & misunderstood,
I will smile and disintegrate.
(~2013)

 

a banger


Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)


#120 ILiveToMosh

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Posted 01 December 2020 - 03:54 PM

 

Random Thoughts
 
-zombies need blood, we need human blood-
One day, I will run a classy society of people who
upon greeting will slit their wrists. It's like a handshake
and you may, at a social gathering, gain about 6 small
incisions on your wrists before dinner. It is customary
to not actually start bleeding. Everything is going to be
white and if you bleed on your dress you are a whore.
(~2012)

 

i actually fucking love myself

and it's because of stupid shit like this


  • Sad Poet Kid likes this

Desmond

Current Weight and BMI

198.4 / 36.3 (12.1.2020)




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