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Come here if you just binged


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#8441 closethedoor

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Posted 13 May 2020 - 06:21 PM

I was doing well in the beginning of the day, walked 10 km and came back home almost passing out (it took me twice as much time I usually spend to get home because I was walking so slowly, had no energy). Didn’t plan to eat until dinner, but then I was in the kitchen with my mom, and she said “you know, this pack of pringles doesn’t taste as usual, there’s a feeling of flour in my mouth left after, and the smell is different”. My mouth was NATURALLY watering seconds after she said this, a minute after I was eating them. 16 chips at first, then I counted calories, and later I ate another half of this 165 g pack. Then I ate so f*cking much; steamed vegetables as planned, cookies, ice cream, a liter of green tea. Feels a lot worse than what it sounds like. I’ve gained 4 (FOUR) lbs from food and water weight.
Now, I realise going on a 3 day fast will result in me binging ever harder, but how tf am I supposed to stop the cycle? I haven’t lost anything in a week cause every other day ends with a binge. I’ve came up with an idea that I’ll only dye my hair when I’ll reach my GW. Have the hair dye bought already but I probably will use it as a reward..
I wish I didn’t fall into an ED years ago.

#8442 _neverenough1632_

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 04:54 AM

I went to Wawa yesterday and got a shorti sub, chips, and brownie, intending to eat a few chips and half the brownie and toss the rest. I had no idea the sub was 480 cals. The bread was around 230, I felt betrayed. So I thought I messed my diet for the day and but a bag of mixed mini chocolates from Target. There were 28 and I ate 25. That’s 1,000 calories. I’ve never eaten that much and known the calorie count. I ate so many I felt sick. I ate them to punish myself really. I was FaceTiming my mom and told her I wanted to lose weight but I’m going to eat these candies and she says eat only 2 then. And I got upset bc I didn’t want her to tell me what to do or how much to eat. I’m allowed to talk about my weight but she isn’t. Thinking about it now I opened up a can of worms bc she loves to tell me what to do. I sure showed her by eaten all those stupid chocolates. I’ve been overeaten for two weeks. I don’t really know how to stop.

#8443 bitmynails

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Posted 14 May 2020 - 07:42 AM

i feel pretty awful. not as awful as i did 30 minutes ago when i finished, but still pretty disgusted in myself. i binged from around 3/4 am until 7am and i just really couldn’t stop. i should have just took a sleeping pill and went back to sleep.
i haven’t binged in a few days, so i’m really upset that i’ll have to restart my progress all over again. this is also the most i’ve binged since i started restricting again in july. i used to binge on way more so i’m scarwd to end up like that again. i also don’t really like eating meat, canned tuna, and dairy anymore so i’m pretty disgusted that i ate all this. why did i drink milk :/
i’m sorry to everyone else on the bed forums if i day something that makes you feel geoss, i promise i just think this is a lot for me. the problem is that i’m getting worse again
here’s the list. i feel terrible. why can’t i just eat normally?

3 mug cakes (900)
salt and vinegar chip remnants (100)
about a cup of chili and cheese my brother made, i didn’t even ask if i could have some (360)
probably 2.5 cups milk (375)
mac and cheese with tuna (1300)
sprite zero (0)

total: a little over 3000 :/

i’m just mad that i ruined my progress. i ate until i was sick, and then i ate more until i was physically gagging. why do i do this?
5'7 | 18 | they/them
sw: 159 lb | cw: 131 lb | ugw: 115 lbs
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#8444 MindBonesBroken

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Posted 15 May 2020 - 10:41 PM

Im not gonna say what I ate, just that it was way too much and I feel terrible and want to fucking die
Fat. Miserable. Ughhh.My accountability: https://www.myproana...k-to-beautiful/ -_- 5,2ft/158cm (I grew a centimetre over the past year or so)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SW: 125lbs / 56.7kg / BMI : 23
LW: 74.9lbs / 34kg / BMI : 13.7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CW: 102.1lbs / 46.3kg / BMI: 18.5
(I'm MUCH happier with my body! Still feel insecure and unattractive BUT I feel more myself, I feel safer and more in control. It's weird and almost spiritual; I actually feel motivated to enjoy moments and confident enough to be more authentic around myself and my friends😊💖)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GW1: 110.2lbs / 50kg / BMI: 20✔
GW2: 105.8lbs / 48kg / BMI: 19.2✔
GW3: 99.2lbs / 45kg / BMI: 18
UGW: 95lbs / 43kg / BMI: 17
𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 = 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐁𝐲𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐃𝐚𝐲

#8445 Oakleyx

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Posted 16 May 2020 - 09:05 AM

Two plates of spaghetti bolognese for BREAKFAST... I made it for my bf no clue how many cals but I’m guessing at least 1,000. Rlly wish I would have just have the 1

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#8446 Nana0

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 02:45 AM

Was doing great, even stopped purging for 2 weeks
We had some friends over yesterday with my bf
I just kept eating all day long & it was a barbecue so so many junk food
I feel awful & bloated & gross, at this point I told my bf I would spent 2 days at home alone this way I can just restrict & try to save the damages
(Also feeling awful for not telling him about my ED yet but oh well)

#8447 I_luv_lucy

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 10:22 PM

This morning I had
-2 servings of oatmeal
-hummus
-protein bar
-AN ENTIRE TUB OF CHOCOLATE FROSTING WTF
Then I decided not to eat for the rest of the day. But then I had dinner and then binged

-Annie’s Mac and cheese
-2 hamburger buns with butter and jam
- veggie chips
- hummus
-a pb&j
- yogurt with chocolate powder and sugar???
-more chips??
I feel so so I’ll what is wrong with me. This is so embarrassing I want to cry. When will this end.
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#8448 woman king

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Posted 18 May 2020 - 11:54 PM

oooh i'm sad sad sad, i just set myself back at least a week after doing so well on an (actually healthy) diet. 


Naive piece of shit who think's she'll just lose for a while and then *maintain*
Technically recovered from AN, which is a cute way of saying "currently EDNOS" 
 
Height : 5'3
SW: 58.5KG (129lbs)

CW : 52.5KG (115.6lbs)
Realistic GW : 52KG (115lbs)
Actual/Yikes GW : 48KG (105lbs)
 

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#8449 handinmypocket

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 10:44 AM

w/in the last few hours, a whole container of hummus, 18 pieces of dove candy, 2ish servings of peanut butter, and two laughing cow cheese wedges. This is actually my first sober binge in a while, but between being sleep deprived, vaguely depressed and seriously burned out and my mother being out for the first time in ages and thus I knew she wouldn’t stumble upon me, the situation was just right. I’m still in the mid thousands calorie wise and they weren’t huge in VOLUME despite being high calorie so might not even gain, but that would provably mean fasting the rest of the day....

#8450 yesterdays

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Posted 19 May 2020 - 02:32 PM

Half a PB&J Sandwich, 2 fiber one bars, a frappaccino, 2 granola bars, triscuits, a shit load of cheese, and then more jelly.

It feels weird to have energy. I'm gonna wait until this settles and then work out for an hour or two. Hopefully I can burn enough so that this family dinner tonight doesn't make me gain lmao.
just found out the inhaler I'm using is expired, which explains why it tastes like gasoline

#8451 lisabrck

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Posted 20 May 2020 - 05:05 AM

I am sooo sad I binged, like I never eat in the morning but every time I am stressed with schoolwork oder something I keep eating EVERYTHINg in sight and that's very sad I already binged at 9.45am and it won't end well today



#8452 flamin' hot cheetos

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Posted 21 May 2020 - 11:13 PM

i was doing so good. i’m so fucking mad at myself. today was an awful day full of eating trash. now i feel sick.

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#8453 sugarplums

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Posted 22 May 2020 - 06:45 AM

Everything was going so well, and then pooooh! Restart in 3, 2, ...


She's that girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street.

 

SW: 185

CW : 187 

GW: 119


#8454 cloudforest

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Posted 22 May 2020 - 11:46 PM

Hi. I ate probably 4000 calories today. I'm currently demolishing a packet of expensive sugarfree gummies I had been saving for weeks as a special treat to have when I'd accomplished something good.

Idk why I've done this today, it started literally 24h ago when I went to get a snack size mcflurry after the gym, lollll!! Who does that. Anyway I feel crappy and guilty and disgusting but at least I don't feel any urge to purge. I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning and I will go hard to undo any damage I've caused.

I need to stop eating foods which I know will trigger a binge, for example sweets. My binges also get triggered by low emotional states and that's the thing I don't know how to control...I had a long period of restriction, but now I am starting to binge more, then restrict and exercise, then try to eat normal and exercise, binge again...I just want to stop binging once and for all.

My trashcan in my room is full of food wrappers and c/s food and it's so shameful

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♡ melancholy
27F ♡ 5'9/175cm ♡ hw: 212 ♡ sw: 152 ♡ cw: 139
gw: 135 | gw: 125 | gw: 120 | gw: 110 | ug
w: 99


[ tumblr ]
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#8455 androidgirl

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Posted 25 May 2020 - 12:33 PM

just ordered soo much sushi and ate it all to myself lmao


5"5

hw: 196

cw & lw: 133

 

140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 

 

ugw: 112


#8456 earlgreygirl

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Posted 25 May 2020 - 04:09 PM

yesterday was my birthday and it was also my first real binge (an entire Large pizza) i had been restricting to below 800-900 for about two months prior. i've over eaten before but nothing like this nowhere close. i feel ashamed and guilty and disgusting


height: 160 cm / 5'3

cw: 63kg / 138 lbs

-

gw: 57 kg / 125 lbs

gw: 54 kg / 119 lbs 

gw: 51 kg / 112 lbs 

gw: 48 kg / 106 lbs 

-

ugw: 45 kg / 99 lbs 

-

updated September 17, 2020

 

 

 

 

 


#8457 Mudblood

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Posted 26 May 2020 - 10:59 AM

I feel disgusting after last nights binge. I had gfuel in the morning, then a lean cuisine meal with a kale salad for lunch. I felt great because I was at only 285 cals. I even did 40 squats and went on a walk! Then at 9pm I had 3380 cals at Arby's.



#8458 MindBonesBroken

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Posted 26 May 2020 - 10:14 PM

Total for the day = 700-800kcal

but it was the MINDSET that scared me. My hand just kept on going back for more and I told my mouth to stop but ~ surprise, surprise ~ IT DIDN'T LISTEN. Anyways, time to fast again. yay? O-o


Fat. Miserable. Ughhh.My accountability: https://www.myproana...k-to-beautiful/ -_- 5,2ft/158cm (I grew a centimetre over the past year or so)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SW: 125lbs / 56.7kg / BMI : 23
LW: 74.9lbs / 34kg / BMI : 13.7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CW: 102.1lbs / 46.3kg / BMI: 18.5
(I'm MUCH happier with my body! Still feel insecure and unattractive BUT I feel more myself, I feel safer and more in control. It's weird and almost spiritual; I actually feel motivated to enjoy moments and confident enough to be more authentic around myself and my friends😊💖)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GW1: 110.2lbs / 50kg / BMI: 20✔
GW2: 105.8lbs / 48kg / BMI: 19.2✔
GW3: 99.2lbs / 45kg / BMI: 18
UGW: 95lbs / 43kg / BMI: 17
𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 = 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐁𝐲𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐃𝐚𝐲

#8459 Beana85KG

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Posted 27 May 2020 - 04:29 PM

It's not as bad as before, I have binged up to 10,000 calories for 5+ days consecutively. 

 

I haven't binged 10,000 calories in 20 days. 

Today was just 2000, but I can feel the same familiar feeling. I'm not full even though I ate most of this in 1 sitting, everything hurts but it feels like only food will help numb the pain, and I feel SOOO guilty. 

I normally don't feel hungry until the afternoon but today I just woke up ravenous. I knew I was going to eat all day and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Luckily I don't have any junk food in my house or this could have been a lot worse. 

 

I had

1 orange

1 cheesy omelette with roasted veggies

14 Custard Cream Biscuits

1 Hot Chocolate

2 Cups of tea with Splenda & full fat milk

3 slices of a Garlic Baguette (I really had to take a minute and stop myself eating the whole baguette - so glad I stopped)

2 portions of Philadelphia light cheese mini's

1/2 cup of oats

1 cup of full fat milk

1 scoop of chocolate protein powder

 

aaaaand no excercise. 

 

 

I feel better after writing it down though. I'm glad I consider this a binge when I used to binge on 10,000 calories. Maybe I am making progress. Some people consider 2000 calories to be healthy. 

I will try to forgive myself and start from scratch tomorrow. 



#8460 I_luv_lucy

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 10:26 PM

Tonight I had 5 slices of pizza, 3 Tostitos chips, 2 pop tarts, and a tigers milk bar, and mango ice cream- along with other foods earlier in the day. Ugh this is horrible how do I get out of this.


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