i've always had an eating disorder.., but around 5 years ago it really hit home, everything blew up on me, i realized every guy i admired was muscular, one problem, i wasn't, dbz was my show, i loved gohan, i wanted to be like gohan.. i wanted to be like superman and all my life long heroes.. i felt like thats what i needed to do to be a man, even though i was suffering from anorexia at the time.. before i start i want to thank furious pete who helped me out of the darkness and to the "light"? or is it really light? (later when i fell back into anorexia and his videos helped me back out) soon after the iron bug hit me.. hit me hard!
and a big shoutout to durrah who i found later, will link videos.. he literally underwent the same shit as me..
this is them if you haven't seen him yet
anorexia to bigorexia transformation.
this is back at my lowest weight when anorexia had hold of me
after about a year or two at the gym this is what i looked like.. still unsatisfied, and still a skinny bitch, i was about 60 pounds heavier and considered healthy at the time.. but my head was killing me and eventually took over, i took every known supplement after this, i hated myself, i wanted to die still
a year later this is what i looked like.. i couldnt believe the two pictures, after a year i barely gaind anything, a few shitty pounds.. thats all so i decided to take it to the text step, i ate eerything in sight, i mean everything, 10,000 calories easily, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't do anything, i would stay home and eat, i couldn't walk, walking burns calories, I NEED CaLORIES.
after quitting walking altogether i took the essentials, i start doing injections of b12, i had 1000 calorie weight gainers, i ate everything in sight
a few years later this is what i look like... my body is okay, but it took be better, i know it took a while and i still am tiny but i did all i could.. in and out of hospitals and everything..
still not where i want to be.. i need to constatly wear baggy sweaters to hide what is under it.. i hate it but im use to it.. i hate when people try to touch me, i feel fragile.. i feel like im going to break, its hard to even find photso to upload.. i delete everything because my body is gross
this is my story.. if any other bigorexians would like to share.. please.. remember
you are not alone!! don't let this illness beat your head
i may have missed a lot, on my phone trying to link some photos and everything.. sorry, in a hurry