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my 5 year battle with bigorexia!


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#1 Megarexia

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Posted 24 November 2014 - 09:56 PM

i've always had an eating disorder.., but around 5 years ago it really hit home, everything blew up on me, i realized every guy i admired was muscular, one problem, i wasn't, dbz was my show, i loved gohan, i wanted to be like gohan..  i wanted to be like superman and all my life long heroes..  i felt like thats what i needed to do to be a man, even though i was suffering from anorexia at the time.. before i start i want to thank furious pete who helped me out of the darkness and to the "light"? or is it really light? (later when i fell back into anorexia and his videos helped me back out) soon after the iron bug hit me.. hit me hard!

 

and a big shoutout to durrah who i found later, will link videos.. he literally underwent the same shit as me..

 

this is them if you haven't seen him yet

 

-furious pete

 

durrah - 

 

 

259zbkw.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

anorexia to bigorexia transformation.

 

 

 

this is back at my lowest weight when anorexia had hold of me

 

 

2nq61dv.jpg

 

 

 

 

after about a year or two at the gym this is what i looked like.. still unsatisfied, and still a skinny bitch, i was about 60 pounds heavier and considered healthy at the time.. but my head was killing me and eventually took over, i took every known supplement after this, i hated myself, i wanted to die still

 

dv9t4.jpg

 

 

 

a year later this is what i looked like.. i couldnt believe the two pictures, after a year i barely gaind anything, a few shitty pounds.. thats all so i decided to take it to the text step, i ate eerything in sight, i mean everything, 10,000 calories easily, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't do anything, i would stay home and eat, i couldn't walk, walking burns calories, I NEED CaLORIES.

 

 

2wf7drt.jpg

 

 

 

after quitting walking altogether i took the essentials, i start doing injections of b12, i had 1000 calorie weight gainers, i ate everything in sight

 

a few years later this is what i look like... my body is okay, but it took be better, i know it took a while and i still am tiny but i did all i could.. in and out of hospitals and everything..

 

2yl8rac.jpg

 

 

2wpnqqu.jpg

 

 

 

still not where i want to be.. i need to constatly wear baggy sweaters to hide what is under it.. i hate it but im use to it.. i hate when people try to touch me, i feel fragile.. i feel like im going to break, its hard to even find photso to upload.. i delete everything because my body is gross

 

 

this is my story.. if any other bigorexians would like to share.. please.. remember

 

you are not alone!! don't let this illness beat your head

 

i may have missed a lot, on my phone trying to link some photos and everything.. sorry, in a hurry


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0. Megarexia "a mental condition in which one perceives one's body as too thin, and desires it to be ever larger," 1 is the opposite of anorexia. Recent statistics indicate that six percent of men who engage in bodybuilding programs suffer from this. Megarexics often feel humiliated, are defensive about their body image, uncomfortable with talk about body building, and socially ill at ease. Individuals diagnosed as megarexics are "chronically preoccupied with the concept of increasing their body mass. When they look in the mirror, they see themselves as too small and too weak."

 

 

 

FAQ

 

1. "you are a troll" - No I just have different struggles with a different eating disorder, stop following me around trying to make me out to be a bad person.

 

2. "Go to a bodybuilding website" or "you'd be better off on a bodybuilding website"-  I'll go to a bodybuilding forum the moment you go to a diet forum. Same thing, right?

 

3. "you don't even have an ed"- Tired of explaining to close minded people, be a doll and scroll up to number 0.

 

 

4. "if you want better responses don't post in the anorexia forum board"- Once again, close minded, it's not the "anorexia board" It's called the "general eating disorder discussion board" where all eating disorders can be discussed, not just the "most common" one of this website.

 

 

 

5. Most people asking these are close minded people who think anorexia is the only eating disorder, don't be stupid, this world does not revolve around you, not even mental illness does, get out of your bubble and realize there are tons of other types of eating disorders out there, and this website accept all of them,  so yeah other than that, don't be dumb and i'm sure we can be great friends.

 

 

CW- TOO SMALL.

            

 

 

 

 

 

                                    j8flw0.jpg                                    


#2 nomocameltoe

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Posted 24 November 2014 - 10:45 PM

Your pics will not load for me on my phone. disappointing. Was very interested in your story and transformation thus far :(
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#3 Guest_illbethin._*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 10:50 AM

I love your story. You've got a good-looking body, by the way.

#4 Guest_Nobody.deleted_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 12:43 PM

I have it, and my idols/obsessions are Jason Statham and Dolph Lundgren. There not that big but what wouldn't I do to look like them.... 



#5 Megarexia

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 02:20 PM

I love your story. You've got a good-looking body, by the way.

 

thank you love!! :$


0. Megarexia "a mental condition in which one perceives one's body as too thin, and desires it to be ever larger," 1 is the opposite of anorexia. Recent statistics indicate that six percent of men who engage in bodybuilding programs suffer from this. Megarexics often feel humiliated, are defensive about their body image, uncomfortable with talk about body building, and socially ill at ease. Individuals diagnosed as megarexics are "chronically preoccupied with the concept of increasing their body mass. When they look in the mirror, they see themselves as too small and too weak."

 

 

 

FAQ

 

1. "you are a troll" - No I just have different struggles with a different eating disorder, stop following me around trying to make me out to be a bad person.

 

2. "Go to a bodybuilding website" or "you'd be better off on a bodybuilding website"-  I'll go to a bodybuilding forum the moment you go to a diet forum. Same thing, right?

 

3. "you don't even have an ed"- Tired of explaining to close minded people, be a doll and scroll up to number 0.

 

 

4. "if you want better responses don't post in the anorexia forum board"- Once again, close minded, it's not the "anorexia board" It's called the "general eating disorder discussion board" where all eating disorders can be discussed, not just the "most common" one of this website.

 

 

 

5. Most people asking these are close minded people who think anorexia is the only eating disorder, don't be stupid, this world does not revolve around you, not even mental illness does, get out of your bubble and realize there are tons of other types of eating disorders out there, and this website accept all of them,  so yeah other than that, don't be dumb and i'm sure we can be great friends.

 

 

CW- TOO SMALL.

            

 

 

 

 

 

                                    j8flw0.jpg                                    


#6 Megarexia

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 02:20 PM

I have it, and my idols/obsessions are Jason Statham and Dolph Lundgren. There not that big but what wouldn't I do to look like them.... 

awh i love him too actually :c :(


0. Megarexia "a mental condition in which one perceives one's body as too thin, and desires it to be ever larger," 1 is the opposite of anorexia. Recent statistics indicate that six percent of men who engage in bodybuilding programs suffer from this. Megarexics often feel humiliated, are defensive about their body image, uncomfortable with talk about body building, and socially ill at ease. Individuals diagnosed as megarexics are "chronically preoccupied with the concept of increasing their body mass. When they look in the mirror, they see themselves as too small and too weak."

 

 

 

FAQ

 

1. "you are a troll" - No I just have different struggles with a different eating disorder, stop following me around trying to make me out to be a bad person.

 

2. "Go to a bodybuilding website" or "you'd be better off on a bodybuilding website"-  I'll go to a bodybuilding forum the moment you go to a diet forum. Same thing, right?

 

3. "you don't even have an ed"- Tired of explaining to close minded people, be a doll and scroll up to number 0.

 

 

4. "if you want better responses don't post in the anorexia forum board"- Once again, close minded, it's not the "anorexia board" It's called the "general eating disorder discussion board" where all eating disorders can be discussed, not just the "most common" one of this website.

 

 

 

5. Most people asking these are close minded people who think anorexia is the only eating disorder, don't be stupid, this world does not revolve around you, not even mental illness does, get out of your bubble and realize there are tons of other types of eating disorders out there, and this website accept all of them,  so yeah other than that, don't be dumb and i'm sure we can be great friends.

 

 

CW- TOO SMALL.

            

 

 

 

 

 

                                    j8flw0.jpg                                    


#7 Guest_Nobody.deleted_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 02:27 PM

awh i love him too actually :c :(

Like seriously, I could watch the movies for hours and hours just for motivation and triggering myself. It's kinda silly, but it's the only thing that helps sometimes. When laziness strikes that is.. 


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#8 Guest_TinyBeauty_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 03:05 PM

Wow thanks for the insight on this, you explained it really well because I didn't know much about muscle dysmorphia.


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#9 jordiejonesxx

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 03:27 PM

Really well explained, I know it's not much of a consolation; but you've honestly got the biggest muscles I've personally seen x


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141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129

128 127 126 125 124 123 122 121 120 119 118 117

 

aiming to be content and maintain here we go again

 

Euphoria-season-1-screenshots-episode-6-

 

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#10 Megarexia

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 05:30 PM

Really well explained, I know it's not much of a consolation; but you've honestly got the biggest muscles I've personally seen x

 

thanks a lot but i doubt it..


0. Megarexia "a mental condition in which one perceives one's body as too thin, and desires it to be ever larger," 1 is the opposite of anorexia. Recent statistics indicate that six percent of men who engage in bodybuilding programs suffer from this. Megarexics often feel humiliated, are defensive about their body image, uncomfortable with talk about body building, and socially ill at ease. Individuals diagnosed as megarexics are "chronically preoccupied with the concept of increasing their body mass. When they look in the mirror, they see themselves as too small and too weak."

 

 

 

FAQ

 

1. "you are a troll" - No I just have different struggles with a different eating disorder, stop following me around trying to make me out to be a bad person.

 

2. "Go to a bodybuilding website" or "you'd be better off on a bodybuilding website"-  I'll go to a bodybuilding forum the moment you go to a diet forum. Same thing, right?

 

3. "you don't even have an ed"- Tired of explaining to close minded people, be a doll and scroll up to number 0.

 

 

4. "if you want better responses don't post in the anorexia forum board"- Once again, close minded, it's not the "anorexia board" It's called the "general eating disorder discussion board" where all eating disorders can be discussed, not just the "most common" one of this website.

 

 

 

5. Most people asking these are close minded people who think anorexia is the only eating disorder, don't be stupid, this world does not revolve around you, not even mental illness does, get out of your bubble and realize there are tons of other types of eating disorders out there, and this website accept all of them,  so yeah other than that, don't be dumb and i'm sure we can be great friends.

 

 

CW- TOO SMALL.

            

 

 

 

 

 

                                    j8flw0.jpg                                    


#11 Blondie.

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 09:45 PM

This is going to be me, I just know it.

I cant maintain an Anorexic BMI forever and this will be me.

FUCK.


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tumblr_lsyqw8ZH6V1qb10wfo1_500.giftumblr_lsyqw8ZH6V1qb10wfo2_r1_500.gif92faee9784a5da995dfc808188f80e1b130132f4tumblr_n2ldw6GITG1qdeni6o3_r1_250.gif

 

 


#12 Guest_TinySeal_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 10:09 PM

Like seriously, I could watch the movies for hours and hours just for motivation and triggering myself. It's kinda silly, but it's the only thing that helps sometimes. When laziness strikes that is.. 

I read somewhere that Jason Stathem does not allow himself over 2000 calories a day which surprised me since he is a grown man and works out a lot probs.



#13 Guest_TinySeal_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 10:10 PM

Really well explained, I know it's not much of a consolation; but you've honestly got the biggest muscles I've personally seen x

same^



#14 Guest_TinySeal_*

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Posted 25 November 2014 - 10:11 PM

dat vascularity


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#15 Guest_Nobody.deleted_*

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 05:17 AM

I read somewhere that Jason Stathem does not allow himself over 2000 calories a day which surprised me since he is a grown man and works out a lot probs.


I think he does that when preparing for a movie yeah. He seems to be very strict with his ibtake ib general though.
I read more about his work out programs cause I'm obsessed with his symmetry -.- But you should keep in mind he was a swimmer which explains why he's pretty athletic and in want for a better word, lean.

#16 Guest_Nobody.deleted_*

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 05:18 AM

You do look amazing by the way. Seriously!
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#17 DreamFilled

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 03:14 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm so glad they added this forum. ED's aren't exclusive to restricting and wanting to lose weight, and it was about time that was recognized.
I know you might not believe me, just like many of us on the other side of the spectrum don't believe what we are told, but I do think you have a very nice muscular body! Simply put, I'm the kind of girl who freaks out when someone tries to lift me because I think they will struggle too much because of my weight, but I wouldn't worry at all if it was you because I can see you are very strong and you could lift me up with one hand without any struggle (I'm 147 lb, as frame of reference). Actually, and I hope this doesn't sound offensive, you look like the kind of guy that, if you were my friend, I'd ask you if I can punch your stomach... And I'd hurt my hand while you wouldn't feel a tickle! (Ergo, I think you look really strong :D).
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#18 ♔ king

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 03:31 PM

o.o those muscles are like stones compared to my pebble-sized ones ;-;

lookin good 0-0 *cannot stop staring to save my life*


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#19 Megarexia

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 03:41 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm so glad they added this forum. ED's aren't exclusive to restricting and wanting to lose weight, and it was about time that was recognized.
I know you might not believe me, just like many of us on the other side of the spectrum don't believe what we are told, but I do think you have a very nice muscular body! Simply put, I'm the kind of girl who freaks out when someone tries to lift me because I think they will struggle too much because of my weight, but I wouldn't worry at all if it was you because I can see you are very strong and you could lift me up with one hand without any struggle (I'm 147 lb, as frame of reference). Actually, and I hope this doesn't sound offensive, you look like the kind of guy that, if you were my friend, I'd ask you if I can punch your stomach... And I'd hurt my hand while you wouldn't feel a tickle! (Ergo, I think you look really strong :D).

 

 

o.o those muscles are like stones compared to my pebble-sized ones ;-;

lookin good 0-0 *cannot stop staring to save my life*

 

hahaha, 147 is nothing :3

 

thank you guys :$


  • ♔ king likes this

0. Megarexia "a mental condition in which one perceives one's body as too thin, and desires it to be ever larger," 1 is the opposite of anorexia. Recent statistics indicate that six percent of men who engage in bodybuilding programs suffer from this. Megarexics often feel humiliated, are defensive about their body image, uncomfortable with talk about body building, and socially ill at ease. Individuals diagnosed as megarexics are "chronically preoccupied with the concept of increasing their body mass. When they look in the mirror, they see themselves as too small and too weak."

 

 

 

FAQ

 

1. "you are a troll" - No I just have different struggles with a different eating disorder, stop following me around trying to make me out to be a bad person.

 

2. "Go to a bodybuilding website" or "you'd be better off on a bodybuilding website"-  I'll go to a bodybuilding forum the moment you go to a diet forum. Same thing, right?

 

3. "you don't even have an ed"- Tired of explaining to close minded people, be a doll and scroll up to number 0.

 

 

4. "if you want better responses don't post in the anorexia forum board"- Once again, close minded, it's not the "anorexia board" It's called the "general eating disorder discussion board" where all eating disorders can be discussed, not just the "most common" one of this website.

 

 

 

5. Most people asking these are close minded people who think anorexia is the only eating disorder, don't be stupid, this world does not revolve around you, not even mental illness does, get out of your bubble and realize there are tons of other types of eating disorders out there, and this website accept all of them,  so yeah other than that, don't be dumb and i'm sure we can be great friends.

 

 

CW- TOO SMALL.

            

 

 

 

 

 

                                    j8flw0.jpg                                    


#20 musicalfailure

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Posted 26 November 2014 - 03:42 PM

You've really given such good and brave insight into this condition. I did not understand bigorexia, but now I actually am starting to imagine how it must feel. It's the same sort of obsessions and body weight issues that other EDs consist of.

 

I really think you are strong and brave to battle this for so long.


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