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my 5 year battle with bigorexia!


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#61 xaesthetic

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:17 PM

You know all those attention seeking people who want to commit suicide 6 to 10 times a week....
I kept telling her to just do it and get it over with because everyone was tired of her anyways....

I got banned for like two days....

Then (the next day) someone made a comment in chat about seeing who could cut the deepest, I told the person to go ahead and do it because they triggering others and it would be better if they died alone instead of taking people with them. Some people who had just joined chat screen captured only that part of the conversation and reported me.

I think I might have told someone "your face is pointless" and they reported me on the same night

Admin did write me an email the first time asking me to stop telling people to die. But it didn't respond to any of my emails for months after the second ban. It sucked too cause MPA is the only social contact I have with people. I am kind of pathetic.

Dude... Idk what I'd do if I was ever banned. MPA is the only place I have friends, so I feel you there.

 

That is pretty harsh... Idk if I could ever say that to anyone. Total empath. I'd deffo troll the fuck out of them with extreme sarcasm though.

 

I don't go in chat anyway because I always hear about assholes being in there.

 

I've heard that there are members that ONLY use chat and never post anything on the forum... That's absurd to me...

 

 

I respect you, some people just need to be told to stfu, honestly.

 

^^^ I agree with this though 100% though



#62 spectral

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:18 PM

4yDPQrL.gif


tbh i suspected he was a troll from the beginning. but i tried being nice and giving him the benefit of the doubt and just letting him do his thing on here... whatever that was. but then i think he got more comfortable on the community and too confident. he ended up being blatantly rude and just offensive. triggered me pretty hard that one night. then he just ran out of good insults. lmao. he was trying too hard imo.

anyways,
he's gone. why the fuck are we still giving him the honor of us whining about him still? he doesn't deserve anymore attention.


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Spoiler

 


#63 xaesthetic

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:19 PM

Ummmm... Slin_derella is not another reincarnation of Mega, right?

Right?

RIGHT?

First post as a new account and he replies to me.

 

He was the only person I said that to. 

 

So I'm gonna go ahead and say yes.

 

Back to troll some more I suppose.

 

lol. It's cool. Obv he has no life or friends or literally anything better to do.

 

We'll see in a couple of days after he gets off newbie probation.


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#64 prescription

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:23 PM

Dude... Idk what I'd do if I was ever banned. MPA is the only place I have friends, so I feel you there.

That is pretty harsh... Idk if I could ever say that to anyone. Total empath. I'd deffo troll the fuck out of them with extreme sarcasm though.

I don't go in chat anyway because I always hear about assholes being in there.

I've heard that there are members that ONLY use chat and never post anything on the forum... That's absurd to me...



^^^ I agree with this though 100% though

I was in a bad place abd took it out on others. It was wrong though, I don't blame admin.
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lonely-blog_20_1_-thumb-350x259-27542.jp

What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
CW: - somewhere under 110
LW 95.5
Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88

#65 prescription

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:25 PM

I really am a caring person over all... I just don't show it well

lonely-blog_20_1_-thumb-350x259-27542.jp

What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
CW: - somewhere under 110
LW 95.5
Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88

#66 Vincent Price

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:32 PM

First post as a new account and he replies to me.

 

He was the only person I said that to. 

 

So I'm gonna go ahead and say yes.

 

Back to troll some more I suppose.

 

lol. It's cool. Obv he has no life or friends or literally anything better to do.

 

We'll see in a couple of days after he gets off newbie probation.

 

Uuuuugh.

*prepares for fun*

This'll be a great way to celebrate the end of the semester.  

:D


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tumblr_nx82elstqV1sscqwxo1_400.gif


#67 Pina_Colada_Twist

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:36 PM

You know all those attention seeking people who want to commit suicide 6 to 10 times a week....
I kept telling her to just do it and get it over with because everyone was tired of her anyways....

I got banned for like two days....

Then (the next day) someone made a comment in chat about seeing who could cut the deepest, I told the person to go ahead and do it because they triggering others and it would be better if they died alone instead of taking people with them. Some people who had just joined chat screen captured only that part of the conversation and reported me.

I think I might have told someone "your face is pointless" and they reported me on the same night

Admin did write me an email the first time asking me to stop telling people to die. But it didn't respond to any of my emails for months after the second ban. It sucked too cause MPA is the only social contact I have with people. I am kind of pathetic.

 

ZOMG I knew there was a reason I liked you. I knew a girl like that in HS one day I got so fed up with her I told her if she was going to do it just do it but don't come and show me any more scars for attention. So far as I know she never did it again. Some people might have thought I was mean but, honestly, some people are just looking for attention.



#68 xaesthetic

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:39 PM

Uuuuugh.

*prepares for fun*

This'll be a great way to celebrate the end of the semester.  

:D

Another way I'm sure is the fact that the same day we had that argument...

#1 it was in his status

#2 he deleted all statuses in which we were talking, including the one where I was super nice.

 

so the only person who'd even know is him...

 

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the member up here ( whom I won't mention) whos OBVIOUSLY obsessed with him

told him what everyone was saying and THAT'S why he's back... How much you wanna bet? 



#69 Pina_Colada_Twist

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:39 PM

I hate talking about other users like this, but the fact that he was banned makes me feel a bit... better.

 

At first, I decided to respect him because he didn't seem rude at all....

.... but I honestly believe that he was trying to make a passive agressive joke about SH.

Was he a troll?  Maybe.  Was he disrespectful? From my perspective, I believe so.

 

Please try not to get TOO angry at this, but I believed he may even have tried to gloat over our eating disorders at some points.

I'm not saying he's a horrible guy, but from my view point, he seems to have been rude and

after a while I was getting pretty offended.  And keep in mind, I don't get offended too easily.   :wacko:

 

All in all some of you guys seemed to like him.

Some of you guys seem to dislike him.

 

But something tells me we won't be seeing that many folks with Muscle Dysmorphia anytime soon.   ^_^

 

I wouldn't even mind if people who legit had a problem and weren't triggering asswads were here but he was just WAY over the top. Honestly, I have pretty thick skin (literally and figuratively ahahahaha) and don't offend easily either but he was just... I dunno. Maybe he needed to lay off the steroids if he was on them. /shrug/


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#70 Slim_derella

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:43 PM

Hey OP!! You are totally an instagramer aren't you?

 

 

Like dude, sick filters!



#71 Rorschach

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Posted 05 December 2014 - 08:44 PM

I wouldn't even mind if people who legit had a problem and weren't triggering asswads were here but he was just WAY over the top. Honestly, I have pretty thick skin (literally and figuratively ahahahaha) and don't offend easily either but he was just... I dunno. Maybe he needed to lay off the steroids if he was on them. /shrug/

 

Well hey!  Look on the bright side!!

 

The big boy is gone and we can actually sleep at night knowing this..... person is banned.   ^_^


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If you or someone you love from MPA is in a crisis come here.

 

Spoiler

 

The beautiful, perfect girlfriend that I love dearly more than anything in the world.


#72 prescription

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 08:17 AM

ZOMG I knew there was a reason I liked you. I knew a girl like that in HS one day I got so fed up with her I told her if she was going to do it just do it but don't come and show me any more scars for attention. So far as I know she never did it again. Some people might have thought I was mean but, honestly, some people are just looking for attention.

This person would come on TinyChat with blood dripping down her arms... I mean really. Almost everyone on MPA is a SHer, but clean it up, and put a bandage on. No one wants to see it... She had some major life crisis daily. She is still on MPA.... I wonder if she will read this.. hmmmm


lonely-blog_20_1_-thumb-350x259-27542.jp

What if.. I am already thin, and I am the only one who doesn't know it



HW: - 233lbs
CW: - somewhere under 110
LW 95.5
Height - 5'5

UGW - Suppose to be recovering but I am not skinny yet so... 88

#73 Pina_Colada_Twist

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 02:34 PM

This person would come on TinyChat with blood dripping down her arms... I mean really. Almost everyone on MPA is a SHer, but clean it up, and put a bandage on. No one wants to see it... She had some major life crisis daily. She is still on MPA.... I wonder if she will read this.. hmmmm

 

Well hopefully she is doing better now. Honestly though, you'd think one would think about the effect that would have on people, especially in a place where it is such a prevalent problem.



#74 Homersdonut

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 10:12 PM

This was interesting to read. I remember reading about bigorexia a few years ago, but I never read an actual story behind it, thank you for sharing yours!



#75 Guest_Amaurosis_*

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 11:55 PM

You know all those attention seeking people who want to commit suicide 6 to 10 times a week....
I kept telling her to just do it and get it over with because everyone was tired of her anyways....

I got banned for like two days....

Then (the next day) someone made a comment in chat about seeing who could cut the deepest, I told the person to go ahead and do it because they triggering others and it would be better if they died alone instead of taking people with them. Some people who had just joined chat screen captured only that part of the conversation and reported me.

I think I might have told someone "your face is pointless" and they reported me on the same night

Admin did write me an email the first time asking me to stop telling people to die. But it didn't respond to any of my emails for months after the second ban. It sucked too cause MPA is the only social contact I have with people. I am kind of pathetic.

This may be terrible, but I just started laughing really hard when I read that.

"prescription, stop telling people to die!"

X'D



#76 kichouna

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Posted 07 December 2014 - 08:43 PM

.


185203d1373559330-kids-summer-fun-v-w-t-a pretty face &185203d1373559330-kids-summer-fun-v-w-t-
thriller.pngpretty bonesthriller.png
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#77 White Trash Royalty

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Posted 07 December 2014 - 09:54 PM

So is he banned now or what?

#78 Potato girl

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Posted 07 December 2014 - 10:28 PM

At first I was like: it's really great this story is being told!

Now I'm like: wtf did I miss 0-0
CW: 115 (bmi 18.6)
GW: 105 (bmi 16.9)

#79 Guest_Elsa20_*

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Posted 08 December 2014 - 07:11 AM

I've never heard of this before, I knew there was something like this, but I didnt know it had a name. It seems like a hard struggle, also because this kind of ED is more "invisible". I read in your FAQ that some people call you a troll or say you dont have an ED... I'm very sorry there are people who talk like this to you, you deserve kindness and support, no matter what your body looks like (also srsly, you state that you've had anorexia before, I believe that even if you dont have anorexia now you can still share your story/thoughts).

 

Tbh (i hope you dont mind me saying this), i think you already look muscular in the "before" picture, when you had anorexia. Now you're muscles look bigger/more prevalent than Furious Pete's :o (ive seen some of his videos btw - like the one where he eats this MASSIVE jar of nutella. I remember feeling so jealous :P)

 

I hope that there will be a day for you where you can feel comfortable with your body, no matter what it looks like. I hope you will feel comfortable in your skin one day and can just enjoy a healthy and happy lifestyle :3



#80 FairyBody

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Posted 11 January 2015 - 09:09 PM

Your signature photo... man, I could climb you. - no offense intended here, just a compliment. :)

 

You seem quite big enormous to me, I think you could be comfortable with your looks by now, but if this weren't an ed you wouldn't be here in this forum, right? So I know what I think doesn't matter. :/ Just please avoid injecting stuff on yourself (didn't say "stop", I'm not your mom).

 

Be safe.


Height: 1.72m - 5.64"


GW 01 = 67kg


GW 02 = 65kg


GW 03 = 63kg


GW 04 = 61kg


UGW = undefined


Non-scale goals:


- to fit in my average size clothes


- to feel a little bit comfortable about photographs


- to fit in my skinny clothes


- to be called skinny

- to be called too skinny for my height


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