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my therapist said, "you need to lose 17 lbs for me to be concerned" when I'm already underweight...?

therapy anorexia weight shitty therapists I hate everything

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#1 Guest_annaismyactualname_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 04:53 PM

So I'm around a BMI of 17... (I'm 5'7" and not too ill but ill enough to be considered "anorexic" by diagnostic criteria... but get this: my therapist basically didn't even notice I was that low and then when I told him he calculated my BMI in front of me today and told me: "You'd have to weigh 90 lbs (BMI 14.3) for me to really be concerned about you." This is 17lbs less than the 107 I am now! I was also sent to the hospital for a BMI of 15.8 in the past... Basically he made me feel really shitty--like I'm an "average" or "bad" anorexic. I mean I've been in the 14s before but now I wanna get below that just to say "fuck you" to him and everyone for their lack of care and concern. I've already been restricting and I know by the end of May, I can be closer to 90. Sorry to rant... I'm fuming. Shit therapists make you feel like shit :(


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#2 .Invisible.

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:01 PM

So I'm around a BMI of 17... (I'm 5'7" and not too ill but ill enough to be considered "anorexic" by diagnostic criteria... but get this: my therapist basically didn't even notice I was that low and then when I told him he calculated my BMI in front of me today and told me: "You'd have to weigh 90 lbs (BMI 14.3) for me to really be concerned about you." This is 17lbs less than the 107 I am now! I was also sent to the hospital for a BMI of 15.8 in the past... Basically he made me feel really shitty--like I'm an "average" or "bad" anorexic. I mean I've been in the 14s before but now I wanna get below that just to say "fuck you" to him and everyone for their lack of care and concern. I've already been restricting and I know by the end of May, I can be closer to 90. Sorry to rant... I'm fuming. Shit therapists make you feel like shit :(

 

Yeah, I've noticed that some doctors do this.  I've had several psychiatrists and here's the thing about them: he's either completely ignorant to the fact that this is OFTEN a HUGE trigger to anorexics, which means you probably don't want him as a doctor, or he's doing it purposely to get some sort of forced reaction or breakthrough (bullshit) from you.

 

In my experience, they're usually scrubs that need to be dropped like a bad habit ASAP.   I advise telling him exactly why you're dropping him too before you do so.  That shit hella-triggers the Foutta me and my bitch side comes out fast because that was like the cause of me almost dying.  

 

However, to play devil's advocate: People who are healthy do not see how or why this would be a trigger to lose weight.  In fact, they see it as a positive thing.  When I was fully recovered I remember one specific point in time that somebody told me I looked "healthy" and rather than want to hide and die because that means "fat" I (get this - ) took it as a compliment.  

 

In short, I don't really know in what context your doc said this to you, but it wasn't ok because of your reaction and he needs to be told about it.   Also, I have some personal hatred for people that do this because it's too dumb of a mistake for them to be a mental health expert. 


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#3 Guest_annaismyactualname_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:05 PM

Yeah, I've noticed that some doctors do this.  I've had several psychiatrists and here's the thing about them: he's either completely ignorant to the fact that this is OFTEN a HUGE trigger to anorexics, which means you probably don't want him as a doctor, or he's doing it purposely to get some sort of forced reaction or breakthrough (bullshit) from you.

 

In my experience, they're usually scrubs that need to be dropped like a bad habit ASAP.   I advise telling him exactly why you're dropping him too before you do so.  That shit hella-triggers the F outta me and my bitch side comes out fast because that was like the cause of me almost dying.  

 

However, to play devil's advocate:   People who are healthy do not see how or why this would be a trigger to lose weight.  In fact, they see it as a positive thing.  When I was fully recovered I remember one specific point in time that somebody told me a looked "healthy" and rather than want to hide and die because that means "fat" I (get this - ) took it as a compliment.  

 

In short, I don't really know in what context your doc said this to you, but it wasn't ok because of your reaction and he needs to be told about it.   Also, I have some personal hatred for people that do this because it's too dumb of a mistake for them to be a mental health expert. 

 

Thank you for your insight. I think you're spot on about this situation. Here's the other messed up thing though: I told him he was triggering me and that I was quitting and he said, "fine." He didn't even offer me different support? So I came crawling back to his office later today and put my name back on his schedule because I'm actually terrified for my life if I don't see YET HE WAS WILLING TO LET ME GO? I'm so pissed at this dude. How is he even a therapist? 


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#4 ElsaXAnna

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:08 PM

So I'm around a BMI of 17... (I'm 5'7" and not too ill but ill enough to be considered "anorexic" by diagnostic criteria... but get this: my therapist basically didn't even notice I was that low and then when I told him he calculated my BMI in front of me today and told me: "You'd have to weigh 90 lbs (BMI 14.3) for me to really be concerned about you." This is 17lbs less than the 107 I am now! I was also sent to the hospital for a BMI of 15.8 in the past... Basically he made me feel really shitty--like I'm an "average" or "bad" anorexic. I mean I've been in the 14s before but now I wanna get below that just to say "fuck you" to him and everyone for their lack of care and concern. I've already been restricting and I know by the end of May, I can be closer to 90. Sorry to rant... I'm fuming. Shit therapists make you feel like shit :(.


Some therapists are just clueless. Tactless. Ignorant. Oblivious. Miinformed. Unfortunately, your therapist is all of these things. I am so sorry you have to feel invalidated because of his ridiculous requirement. And to think such people are authorized, licensed and considered "professionals" in dealing eith eating disorders. . .
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#5 thatgirldolly

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:11 PM

If it's possible please look for another therapist. Ones who have the whole 'holier than thou' vibe are terrible and no help. 


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#6 Guest_annaismyactualname_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:11 PM

Some therapists are just clueless. Tactless. Ignorant. Oblivious. Miinformed. Unfortunately, your therapist is all of these things. I am so sorry you have to feel invalidated because of his ridiculous requirement. And to think such people are authorized, licensed and considered "professionals" in dealing eith eating disorders. . .

 

Thanks for your support. I feel so so terrible about myself right now.



#7 .Invisible.

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:12 PM

Thank you for your insight. I think you're spot on about this situation. Here's the other messed up thing though: I told him he was triggering me and that I was quitting and he said, "fine." He didn't even offer me different support? So I came crawling back to his office later today and put my name back on his schedule because I'm actually terrified for my life if I don't see YET HE WAS WILLING TO LET ME GO? I'm so pissed at this dude. How is he even a therapist? 

 

UGH.  What an asshat. That is so fucked up.  Well, if it needs to be said, you deserve better and I am so sorry that he is your only option, right now.  I hope that you can get the care you deserve.  


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#8 caterpillar

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:15 PM

You really need to get a different therapist if you are actually concerned to get better. I had a psychiatrist like this who would always question everything I told her ("That seems highly unlikely, I have a hard time believing that, You certainly don't seem to have those problems...") , getting to the point that she would purposefully ignore me in the waiting room and call other patients before me even if I had an appointment. There was no way I would ever feel comfortable enough to be really honest with this person. Your therapist sounds like a similar type. You deserve someone who can take your concerns seriously.
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#9 Starfiegirl

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:15 PM

Ugh! If you are uncomfortable eating and trusted a professional enough to admit that and they responded with basically a challenge.....they need to lose their job. Or at least their client.
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#10 Guest_annaismyactualname_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:15 PM

UGH.  What an asshat. That is so fucked up.  Well, if it needs to be said, you deserve better and I am so sorry that he is your only option, right now.  I hope that you can get the care you deserve.  

 

thanks. yeah, he's all I have right now... unfortunately he has triggered me to go back to the 14s asap. I'd switch to someone else but the wait lists in my town for other therapists are insane and I don't feel stable enough to not have a therapist right now. 



#11 Guest_annaismyactualname_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:17 PM

Ugh! If you are uncomfortable eating and trusted a professional enough to admit that and they responded with basically a challenge.....they need to lose their job. Or at least their client.

 

I tried to walk out but I'm worried about my life if I don't have a therapist right now....


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#12 ElsaXAnna

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:25 PM

Thanks for your support. I feel so so terrible about myself right now.


Don't! Don't let pure ignorance get to you. You can be overweight and display and struggle with an eating disorder. And if he is not concerned only because of your weight [which is already considered underweight AND meets the diagnostic weight criteria of anorexia nervosa
(<BMI 17.5)], then it only shows that he is clueless when it comes to eating disorder. Your struggles and disorder is ad valid and genuine as of someone's with a BMI of 11. Anorexia is a mental illness. An individual's body weight is only a symptom.
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"I want to find someone who loves me the same way I hate myself"

                                                                                                                                                          ~Me

 

Statistics:

Spoiler

 

SOME FACTS ABOUT ME ^_^

Spoiler

 

 

 

tumblr_mjg42cg8Zn1rmuq7po1_500.png

 

 

Come Back Home (Cringy Poetry about Forced Recovery)

Spoiler

 

 

med_gallery_11569_1185_3455.png

I'm bigger than my body,

I'm colder than this home,

I'm meaner than my demons,

I'm bigger than these bones.

All the kids cried out:"Please stop, you're scaring me,"

I can't help this awful energy,

God damn right, you should be scared of me,

 

WHO IS IN CONTROL?

 

 

 

 

 

Days Since I was Born Until I am 18 and Can Finally Relapse: 6574

Days I had lived so Far: 5772

Days From Today (March 24, 2020) Until I am 18 and Can Finally Relapse (June 4th, 2022): 802

 

Countdown of Days Since I was Born Until 18:

Spoiler

 

Everything will be Good if You are Thin . . .

 

Spoiler

 

My Life in a Nutshell. Ready to Get Triggered? [spoiler]

tumblr_ng6i6sBzxT1rntxqeo1_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...eo10_r1_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...ntxqeo2_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...ntxqeo4_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...ntxqeo6_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...qeo8_r1_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumb...qeo9_r1_250.gifhttp://78.media.tumblr.com/e7041544e2ecfe0a29745c3d458bbd29/tumblr_ng6i6sB


#13 Starfiegirl

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:26 PM

I tried to walk out but I'm worried about my life if I don't have a therapist right now....


I feel you. But you need a new therapist. One who can help you.

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#14 Guest_Darkophia_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:35 PM

But the weight criteria for anorexia is 17.5??? He's so clueless he doesn't even know what BMI counts as a diagnosis lmao


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#15 Leelooloo

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:26 PM

Omg that's so unprofessional of them, jesus! It's also incredibly harmful to say, especially to someone with an eating disorder. it's like they know nothing about eating disorders! I'm so sorry OP that you had to hear that. They're ignorant and don't know what they're talking about clearly. Please take care of yourself <3 You're tiny already. You don't need to get lower than 14 for some stupid nobody who means absolutely nothing.


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#16 Pinkrose18

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:29 PM

Mine’s the opposite. When I told him my GW (I’m stupid) he quickly calculated a BMI of 17 and said no way this is not healthy lecture lecture. Mind you I’m 22 now but I’ve been 17 (even 15) and even at that weight I think my thighs look big, so now at my next and every appointment I have to deal with drama when it could have easily been avoided and I should have said a healthy BMI.

#17 Guest_petitpaon_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:33 PM

Please get a new therapist. Preferably a psychologist with a Ph.D or Psy.D, so they have put in the hard work and have the experience to help you become a happier version of yourself. It makes me so sad reading the therapy posts on here (and all over the internet) because so many people are seeing inadequate therapists who are causing their patients more harm. It can take time to find the right one, but once you do, you will usually know right away.

 

I found mine here: https://www.psycholo...m/us/therapists

 

Photos can be deceiving, of course, but I think it's best to avoid the ones with "glamour shots."  ;)


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#18 devilposh

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:36 PM

wtf???? the diagnostic criteria is a bmi under 17.5, sounds like your doctor is a little slow... lol
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#19 TheWallflower

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:39 PM

Drop him stat.
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#20 Guest_Spiderman_*

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:48 PM

DAFUQ. My bmi has been 19 and 18 a d doctors and psychs have been concerned. Shoot, my bmi was like 18.7 last year and my psych was like "are you sure you're not underweight?"

Dude, drop his sorry ass. That is some horrible therapy right there. It just blows my mind because usually for me people are concerned when my bmi is like 18. Blows my mind. Also that would drive me insane too. I'd feel horrible. I'm so sorry he said that...
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