I have never told anyone this, but I have an ED because of my mom.
I love her to death, but...
After she gave birth to me and my younger brother, she gain a ton of weight.
Because of that, my dad cheated on her. They are only together to this day, because she is very catholic.
I have a bf right now that I really love and I am terrified that he will dump me if I get fat.
I just fear being fat because I don't want to be trapped in a loveless relationship.
Basically, the TL;DR version is
1. If I am fat, I do not deserve love or being in a relationship
2. I feel deeply ashamed of how I look and want to be confident.
3. I want to be the smallest person in the room at all times.