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The hunger games.

EDNOS anorexia bulimia eating disorder

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#1 honeycher

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Posted 12 July 2018 - 04:53 AM

In my mind I'm in a game, a competition. 
I got diagnosed with EDNOS and honestly I feel like I got put in 2nd place. Like anorexia is 1st place and I didn't make it so I'll have to starve more so I can "earn" the title anorexic which is honestly sick, I know that but I can't stop thinking this way.

 

My eating disorder is all about control so when I feel like I get put in 2nd place it feels like absolute shit. I am a very competitive person and always want to be the best in everything, maybe because I've always been told I was stupid and dumb, all that while I was actually just bored in school and unmotivated because everything was too easy for me. 

 

Does anyone else feel the same way?

 

Edit: This was so cringey I had to edit it a bit...


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       112,2

       110

      108,9       

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GW: 103

GW: 100

UGW: 95

 

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Age: 18


#2 Brooke--maddox

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Posted 12 July 2018 - 05:06 AM

Yep.

I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do. :/

Also I've been diagnosed bulimic and Then EDNOS so I'm like why not got for 3 and get Anorexia to XD.
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#3 Skeleskinny

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Posted 05 August 2018 - 08:37 AM

Literally my new years goal was to go inpatient for ED. It's so fucked up, but I just want to have the status of having been so skinny and thin I had to be fucking hospitalized. For me I feel like if I can control a basic human need like food then I am literally putting my mind over my body and it feels powerful. And every time someone says I look skinny it drives me more because "you're too thin" sounds like "great job, keep up the good work!" to me. 

But I'm nowhere near inpatient, and I'm definitely more bulimic than anorexic. I'm so scared of being the fattest person in group therapy, or the "wannarexic" so I haven't gone. 


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#4 sickofthishell

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Posted 18 August 2018 - 06:36 AM

absolutely, I'm such a wannabe anorexic


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#5 WickedWitch

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Posted 18 August 2018 - 09:01 AM

I get it. I've never been diagnosed with anything and nobody really knows (so i feel like a fake anyway) but I so badly want to be thin enough that people worry about me, and I feel guilty about that because I have kids depending on me but I wish I could be sick enough to be hospitalized and away from it all? I fucking suck. Doesn't matter cause I can't ever stay in a restrict cycle long enough to get anywhere close to underweight anyway. Fml
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#6 Flyinghighwithana

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Posted 18 August 2018 - 09:15 AM

I get it but it doesn'tean we suffer any less than people with anorexia, bulumia etc. And all these diseases have the potential to kill us in the long run.
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#7 ThinEnough

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Posted 18 August 2018 - 10:17 AM

I think its the fact that people seem to take anorexia more seriously in my mind Is why I would want the diagnosis. But I don't because I don't have a problem ;)
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#8 edandrick

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Posted 20 August 2018 - 02:59 PM

So me:( and can’t even be good enough for my fucking eating disorder
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#9 Thaminess

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 04:52 AM

oh wow guys. I'm so sorry you feel this. No. All our ED's are valid. We're all valid. 


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GW2: 60 kg
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#10 GothicNikkiBella666

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 03:12 PM

Same same same.


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#11 beautifully_entropy

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Posted 11 December 2018 - 09:30 AM

100,000% same, especially because I've reached a much higher BMI now that I'm in my 20s. I've struggled with ED for 11 years now.


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218

200

191

180

159

147

135

120

UGW: 111

 

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#12 lostinhell

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Posted 11 December 2018 - 10:28 AM

legit me i was diagnosed Anorexic with a b/p subtype and then bulimic and now i wanna get anorexic too so i can have all 3 lol but ik i'll never get the anorexic title cuz i love purging so much i'll legit chug water just so i can purge if i have no food i just love it so much idk why but maybe if i start only purging liquids and thats considered fasting? then if i keep working out and lose a few more pounds i could fit the criteria for anorexia diagnosis 



#13 the mothman

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Posted 11 December 2018 - 02:29 PM

Diagnosed with EDNOS/OSFED atypical anorexia but it feels like "fake" anorexia sooo....

Like, I know it's not and it's a very serious disorder, but in my mind I guess I'll never been sick enough.
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#14 (Bulimia Intensifies)

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Posted 11 February 2019 - 07:06 PM

EDNOS is an exceptionally dangerous eating disorder because many people in the medical profession don't take it as seriously as bulimia or anorexia. Which is goddamn ridiculous because y'all with EDNOS typically experience the "best" symptoms of both worlds. 


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H 5' 7"

SW 198

GW1 167

GW2 150

GW3 140

GW4 130

GW5 120

UGW 115

 

198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190 189 188 187 186 185 184 183 182 181 180 179 178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 169 168 167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 149 148 147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128 127 126 125 124 123 122 121 120 119 118 117 116 115


#15 _Kaii_

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Posted 26 February 2019 - 07:55 AM

Same, Buddy- I feel like I have to get as sick as possible so people will actually take me seriously-
I've been diagnosed Bulimic and EDNOS, but anorexic is the hardest one for me to strike-- I'd have to loose like 125 lbs just to be barely underweight, it fucking sucks-
And a double whammy, my bulimia makes my body swell up so it shows as weight gain, isn't life wonderful?
HW: 255 lb // BMI 48.2
LW: 173 lb // BMI 32.7
CW: 214 lb // BMI 40.4
Height: 5'0"
~~~
GW1: 200 lb // BMI 37.8
GW2: 180 lb // BMI 34
GW3: 150 lb // BMI 28.3
GW4: 130 lb // BMI 24.6
GW5: 120 lb // BMI 22.7
~~~
UGW: 110 lb // BMI 20.8

#16 Yandere 💌

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Posted 26 February 2019 - 09:30 PM

I was never firmly diagnosed with anorexia, but they never even considered sending me IP or OP so i felt like an anorexic failure, a real fake. So nowI have a goal to become 96 lbs so I can put taht fear back into those who told me I'm not "that sick'


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#17 Yandere 💌

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Posted 26 February 2019 - 09:31 PM

Sorry to all of you who suffer with EDNOS! I wish you all the best of luck on losing or gaining weight.


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#18 Peasful

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Posted 28 March 2019 - 06:00 PM

Yeah I felt the same way. It’s like just because i am obese now doesn’t mean I don’t have the discipline to starve myself into Anorexia. When i was restricting and fasting i lost 2 stone in a month and a further 2 stone putting me in the overweight category. If i had kept going i would be anorexic pretty fucking quickly, but “recovery” happened and now i’m Obese again and all the people who wanted me to recover including my mum now turn around and say that basically I wasn’t going to carry on that path and that the weight gain is just proof that fad diets don’t work. Bitch please, if i wanted to carry on i could’ve.

Yeah i do feel that EDNOS isn’t only second place, but most don’t even fucking know what it is. And the whole trope of unless you’re underweight you’re fine. No, i am not okay. And the Bulimics get it even worse because everyone knows what that is, well they think they do but they don’t. If you over exercise to purge people don’t see that as bulimic but throw up once and suddenly everyone and their cousin is an expert!!! Pfft
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It takes discipline to diet.
Stressed, depressed and doing my best.
GW: 125lb

#19 branlew

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 11:20 PM

My disorder is less about control and more of a self-harm strategy. On one hand being EDNOS means I can fly under the radar. My coworkers just think I have developed medical conditions (I told them severe anemia and autoimmune disorder) so they don't comment on my weightloss because they think I'm sick. My friends and family just think I'm good at dieting. Hell, sometimes I've convinced myself that I'm normal and just diligently dieting.

Sometimes though I just want to let it just take me down and have my body reflect my inner sick mind.

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#20 soybih

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Posted 31 March 2019 - 09:08 AM

I call this the hunger games because in my mind I'm in a game, a competition. 
I got diagnosed with EDNOS and honestly I feel like I got put in 2nd place. Like anorexia is 1st place and I didn't make it so I'll have to starve more so I can "earn" the title anorexic which is honestly sick, I know that but I can' stop thinking this way.

 

My eating disorder is all about control so when I feel like I get put in 2nd place it feels like absolute shit. I am a very competitive person and always want to be the best in everything, maybe because I've always been told I was stupid and dumb, all that while I actually have above average intelligence and am very good at learning. 

 

Anyways, does anyone else experience the same thing or am I just getting insane?

 

All the love, Agnes. 

no you aren't alone and shouldn't feel guilty because that's the ed messing with your thoughts and head, even if it seems sick, it's not your fault and a lot of us experience the same guilty competition feeling


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Ingredients: depression, anxiety, and a weird ed (orthorexia, anorexia, bulimia)
Might contain: xanax, soymilk tea and cherry tomatoes
Serving size: 120lbs (one 5ft8 human)
 
 
 
 
 
 

 




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