In my mind I'm in a game, a competition.
I got diagnosed with EDNOS and honestly I feel like I got put in 2nd place. Like anorexia is 1st place and I didn't make it so I'll have to starve more so I can "earn" the title anorexic which is honestly sick, I know that but I can't stop thinking this way.
My eating disorder is all about control so when I feel like I get put in 2nd place it feels like absolute shit. I am a very competitive person and always want to be the best in everything, maybe because I've always been told I was stupid and dumb, all that while I was actually just bored in school and unmotivated because everything was too easy for me.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
Edit: This was so cringey I had to edit it a bit...