Posted 04 March 2020 - 08:09 AM
When I was diagnosed with EDNOS, I felt disappointed, even though the psychiatrist reassured me that it was to be taken just as seriously as the other eating disorder types. To me, it just meant that I had failed because I didn't purge enough, or I wasn't underweight, or I wasn't 'severe' enough.
I want to be thin enough that you can TELL there's something not right. Whereas right now, I just feel like I care about my body image enough for it to be a problem, but not enough for it to be taken seriously, you know? EDNOS isn't quite as well known, sadly...
Posted 20 March 2020 - 10:45 PM
I feel so bad for everyone on this thread who feels they cannot be anorexic because they aren't 'skinny' enough. You guys are valid and so are your feelings and your ed.
Size 8 to Size 2 (U.S.)
this dream isn't feeling sweet
Posted 30 March 2020 - 11:23 AM
I'm fucking bulimic and i don't think anyone knows/cares enough because I don't look sick. I never reached underweight, but was very close and they were all so concerned when i was skinny, but not when i am like i am now.
MY FUCKING TOOTH FELL OUT BC OF BULIMIA
MY FINGERS AND TOES ARE ALWAYS NUMB
I USED TO GO TO SLEEP THINKING MY HEART WOULD STOP
but none of this matters because I'm not underweight
HW: 64kg/141lbs LW: 47kg/103lbs
SW (relapse): 63kg/138lbs
CW: 59.5.kg/135.3lbs CGW1: 52kg/114lbs UGW: ????
Current BMI: 23.7
Goal BMI: ???
59.5kg as of 03/31/2020
60 59 58 57 56 55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42
Back since 2020
Posted 30 March 2020 - 01:25 PM
I think it has a lot to do with how culture has deified self-deprivation and made a demon out of any form of gluttony or was. "Purity" and reiligious purification has so much to do with emptying the body or keeping it empty, like it makes you stronger somehow. It's fucked up, but I get it. Plus the medical system takes anorexia more seriously because the weight is normally an easy way to tell they need to help someone asap. The complications other than significantly low weight are harder to see and harder to take people in for, so it seems like sometimes they dont look that hard till your thin
- sicklysatisfied likes this
Height: 5' 2.5", 158.75 cm
HW: 158.0 lbs, 71.7 kg 6/24/16
CW: 124.0 lbs, 56.0 kg 02/06/21
LW: 92.3 lbs, 41.9 kg 12/25/14
GW1: 114 lbs by March 2021
Sober Days: 1
AA Meetings: 2
Posted 30 January 2021 - 08:28 PM
THIS omg - I got told my BMI wasn't low enough to get help and it's ruined me so much I just want to be hospitalised, which is awful but hey here we are disordered lol
Relapsing after recovering, HW now 144 :/
CW: 108.4 (BMI 18.5) ♡
GW3: 125 ♡ GW4: 120 ♡ GW5: 115 ♡ GW6: 110 ♡ GW7: 105 ♡ GW8: 102 ♡ UGW: 99??
Posted 05 October 2021 - 06:25 PM
I've been actively eating disordered for almost a year now (although I strongly suspect that I've had ARFID my whole life) and it's insane how fast I started comparing myself to others in a way I never did before I started restricting. I've always had major self esteem issues, but now I'm laser focused on details I never used to look for. Can others see my collarbones as much as they can see my friend's? What about my wrists and elbow joints, then? Or my knees?
I feel especially ashamed because I catch myself constantly observing how people I know are eating disordered move and how they look from different angles, to make sure I'm not forgetting the goal my anorexia has set for me. I feel like I can never tell anyone about this because what kind of person uses someone else's eating disorder to fuel their own??? Realistically, I know that this is just part of the disorder and that I'm nowhere near alone in having these thoughts, but I still feel like the world's most disgusting person for doing it.
I'm just so afraid of somehow losing my imagined sense of control that I latch onto anything even remotely triggering and obsess over it, and I know that my friend has the same problem of getting triggered by me. If I see them plate food at dinner, I feel compelled to either match that amount or go below it, because in my head they're "good" at being anorexic and I'm not. Both of us have tried to plate our food at different times to minimize the triggers (and we've discussed multiple times how one person's problems feed off the other's), but it's just so difficult when all my anorexia wants is for me to pick up more sneaky behaviors.
Neither of us wants the other to be sick, but we both struggle a lot in our daily lives and find some sort of comfort in our EDs and how we've bonded over them. Does anyone relate to this? Any tips on what to do?
5'4 | CW about 95 | GW 88
Posted 06 October 2021 - 03:09 PM
EDs are very competitive especially with numbers like weight, net cals, bmi etc but yeah also for labels/diagnoses. like how bulimia is considered "failed anorexic"...
she leaves no footprints in the snow
height: 155 ♱ hw: 50 ♱ cw: 43 ♱ gw1: 40 ♱ gw2: 37 ♱ ugw: 35
Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: EDNOS, anorexia, bulimia, eating disorder
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