I have the urge to be tube fed? - Anorexia Discussions - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

I have the urge to be tube fed?

Tube feeding Ng tube Anorexia Fasting Nasogastric tube

  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 sserryslutt

sserryslutt

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 16 posts
  • LocationSouth Australia

Posted 12 July 2018 - 07:37 AM

Okay so before someone goes off about how bad ng tubes are and how I don't want one, trust me my dudes, I know.

So I had a massive relapse with restriction that lasted around a year where I lost like 40kg and ended up not so good. Had a blood sugar of 2.0 so of course I ended up tubed. It was an awful, traumatic experience but the relief of not having to make the choice to eat/not to eat was nuts.

So I've had a 3 week IP admission plus psych admissions and I'm meant to be starting IOP really soon.

Had some life stressors and have gone downhill big time. All I want is to not have to eat ever again. I despise the actual process of chewing and swallowing. I find it exhausting and unnecessary but I can't function on no food/water. I have appointments, family, a house to run. There's no way in hell I could gett away with starving to non-existance.

So yeah I'm resisting the urge to buy a ng tube, insert it myself and go nil by mouth lmao.

Kind of just hoping I'm not the only one??
  • lrlelaldl, littlelightweight, Fariefire and 7 others like this
 
 
𝟷𝟼𝟻𝚌𝚖
 
𝚂𝚆:𝟼𝟶𝚔𝚐
 
𝙷𝚆:𝟾𝟺𝚔𝚐
 
𝙲𝚆:𝟺𝟸.𝟺𝚔𝚐
 
𝙶𝚆:𝟺𝟶𝚔𝚐
 
𝙶𝚆:𝟹𝟾𝚔𝚐
 
𝚄𝙶𝚆:𝟹𝟼𝚔𝚐

#2 anorexicduty

anorexicduty

    Queen of Hearts

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 23354 posts
  • LocationMaryland, US

Posted 12 July 2018 - 07:54 AM

No, I never want to see an NG tube.

I don't feel the need to put food in my mouth for the rest of my life.

 

I'm much more into the empty feeling.


  • havana likes this
 
 
Ht.: 5'7" | SW:147 lbs.| CW::125.4 lbs.| BMI: 19.6  
(6-26-2020)
 
 

Trump Still Sucks

 


#3 StrawberryDeathberry

StrawberryDeathberry

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 759 posts
  • LocationThe Land of Oz

Posted 19 July 2018 - 10:28 PM

Feeding tube terrifies me. I understand where you are coming from, and I might feel that way if I’d already had one in me, but ahhhhh no i can’t deal with even the thought of it.
  • anorexicduty and caloricmemes like this

CW ~ who the fuck knows
HW ~ 189 lbs / 85.7 kg
ALW ~ 144 lbs

LW ~ 132.5 lbs / 60 kg
GW ~ 145 lbs
UGW ~ 110 lbs
Height ~ 5’10.5” / 179cm


Over it.


#4 skeleton.idol

skeleton.idol

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 12 posts
  • LocationCalifornia, United States

Posted 19 July 2018 - 11:23 PM

I totally understand this. I don't like the process of eating either. I feel gross and question my existence and if I really need food to live. I thought about this many times. It doesn't scare me because I have had a tube go down my throat before (doctor's appointment about my stomach) so it doesn't really bother me, the thought of it. I'd like to control my caloric intake though, I wouldn't want it to be so high like they usually use. But yes, I know the feeling.


Treatment doesn't help this bitch.

19 years old. 5 feet 11 inches.

Veg with a Vegan flare


#5 Team_DietDrPepper

Team_DietDrPepper

    Choose your own title! PM Admin or Bibs.

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10802 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 04:26 AM

I get you. I have had the desire to have one too lately. The last time I was in treatment I didnt have to get one, which makes me feel like i failed. It sounds messed up I had I know. I have had a tube a couple of times before. I want one again. 


  • thin-as-me, beautifully_entropy and ThatFatBastard like this

Height- 5'0

HW- 128.8 pounds (March 2020)

LW- 87 pounds (April 2015)

CW- X 

GW- 98 pounds

UGW-76 pounds

 

 

 

damn-it-im-fat-18331225.png

 


#6 not_my_body

not_my_body

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4127 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 23 July 2018 - 05:14 AM

Omg. I seriously felt that I wrote this. Its so so me to a T. I'd much rather have naso again than have To actually make myself eat. You are right, it's just exhausting. I'd much rather just be tubed so I dont have to even think about what foods I should have for the day. I have been tubed quite a few times in the past 4 years. My last time was May just been. I dont want to have to be in hospital though where they control the calorie amount, but rather at my apartment with me controlling it. I even asked my Dr recently, but she said no. My bsl's have been bad this past month too and yesterday I had 2.7 reading. I'm not diabetic either.
"Now you see, the world is full of temptations. They are wrong things that seem right at the time" - Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio.

High restricting is the way for me because slow and steady wins the race. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you end the day on a calorie deficit, you have won.

Height: 5 foot 7 / 171cms,
Highest Weight: 180 pounds / 82 kgs, (BMI 28.0)
Lowest Weight: 85 pounds / 39 kgs, (BMI 13.3)

ULTIMATE GOAL WEIGHT (again): 85 pounds / 39 kgs OR LOWER!!!

#7 amethyste

amethyste

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 71 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 05:21 AM

have you heard about breatharian ? > https://www.gq.com/s...ink-air-is-food


  • thin-as-me, beautifully_entropy, PinkishKitten and 1 other like this

3 years anorexia

 

52kg

48kg

45kg

44kg

41kg

❤

 


#8 anorexicduty

anorexicduty

    Queen of Hearts

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 23354 posts
  • LocationMaryland, US

Posted 26 October 2018 - 09:01 AM

Instead of eating I've flipped over to an all liquid diet.

 

It works for me b/c I don't have to chew anything.

 

Plus I don't have decide what I want to eat.

 

I'm planning on weaning off of the liquids to a water only diet.

 

AKA water fasting!

 

I'll wind up in treatment but I'll fight before I allow anyone to tube me.

 

I'll get my assed kicked but I will resist.  I know how much pain is involved in being tubed.

 

No thanks, but I get why you feel how you feel.   I'm just a chicken!


  • thin-as-me likes this
 
 
Ht.: 5'7" | SW:147 lbs.| CW::125.4 lbs.| BMI: 19.6  
(6-26-2020)
 
 

Trump Still Sucks

 


#9 Anothermouse

Anothermouse

    Advanced Sage

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1961 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 26 October 2018 - 12:18 PM

I've been to treatment 10 times in the last 4 years, and have avoided the tube each time. It looks beyond miserable, I'd never want that fucking tube. Ever.


  • ApplesAddict3 likes this

#10 AZRAE1

AZRAE1

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 312 posts

Posted 26 October 2018 - 12:26 PM

been in treatment the last 12yrs have be tubed quite a few times I hate having the tube but when I don't have it I miss it  :(


  • not_my_body likes this

CW: 60Kg (132lbs)

HW: 67Kg (147lbs)

LW: 29Kg (64lbs)

GW: under 40Kg (88lbs)

UGW: Know idea tbh

HT: 170cm

 

​Yes I have really put my body through soo much shit :( 

​and I'm a 32 year old male 


#11 MorbidEmpress

MorbidEmpress

    Advanced Sage

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2177 posts
  • Locationthe abyss

Posted 26 October 2018 - 12:55 PM

The tube while traumatic and terrifying has some upsides. I feel less sick but don't have to feel the guilt of eating past my limit. Probably wouldn't work if I bought the tube myself though cause then all the calories would still be my fault.
  • not_my_body likes this
<p>Height 5'8" cw 102.8lbs gw98lbs ugw 85lbs

Accountability
https://www.myproana...-quest-4-85lbs/

#12 Irenek1990

Irenek1990

    Omniscient

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5480 posts
  • LocationGreece

Posted 26 October 2018 - 01:45 PM

i feel like if i was forced to have a tube i'd be more 'serious'. rn i feel so fake


  • beautifully_entropy, ghost.mochi, skinn-annd-bonnes and 3 others like this

IG: irenek1990


#13 Natasha B

Natasha B

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3486 posts
  • LocationSan Francisco

Posted 26 October 2018 - 02:24 PM

I have such a strong gag reflex that I end up sore when an NG tube is inserted. I choke, cry and turn blue with these things. My nose also bleeds. Nope, the only time I had one of these things, I was tortured thus I never want to go through that again. I try to stay safe and stay far away from anything that would lead me to that path. I understand the pain that the OP is going through; it's been a terrible week for me with a bit of depression still lingering but I don't think I could place my own NG tube and hope that I don't have to go through that again. To the OP, try to reach out and get some help short of an NG so that you can be kind to yourself. These EDs are hard and painful enough without physical torture. The mental torture that I inflicted upon my self this week was hell and I understand your stress and feelings. 


Height: 5'8"

CW: 117 lbs

GW: 110 lbs 

UGW: 105 lbs

 

2017-09-12 18.33.14.jpg

 


#14 tanzenundschweben

tanzenundschweben

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts

Posted 26 October 2018 - 03:01 PM

I totally get you, but I'd rather have a G and/or J tube, cause no-thank-you shoving tubes down my nose. But again, with my own self controlling what/how much goes in (also maybe it would allow me to vent all the gases that have built up in my digestive tract so I don't look pregnant every time I put on a leotard despite having chest rib visible?)

💟


#15 XxSunflowerxX

XxSunflowerxX

    Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 500 posts
  • Locationspace

Posted 27 October 2018 - 02:46 PM

Fuck i feel this so hard
I mean, the tube is terrible but eating is just...tiring. Like, hhhhh


tumblr_ptqjr9xTQL1wtwx8xo1_r1_400.gif

I will reach my goals.
So will you.



Stats below


Spoiler

 

 

 


#16 anorexicduty

anorexicduty

    Queen of Hearts

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 23354 posts
  • LocationMaryland, US

Posted 11 March 2019 - 09:39 AM

I totally agree that chewing and swallowing is a waste of my time.

It  makes me feel like I'm at the bottom of the evolutionary scale.


 
 
Ht.: 5'7" | SW:147 lbs.| CW::125.4 lbs.| BMI: 19.6  
(6-26-2020)
 
 

Trump Still Sucks

 


#17 Pluk

Pluk

    Sage

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1222 posts

Posted 11 March 2019 - 09:43 AM

maybe it's like wanting someone to care for you?



#18 death is imminent.

death is imminent.

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2541 posts
  • Locationyour mom's Chest hair

Posted 30 April 2019 - 11:59 AM

gods, i understand this. I mainly want a tube for the feeling of it as opposed to getting nutrition in. the sore throat feeling is kind of appealing. And, not gonna lie, i would like it to prove i'm sick enough .  i did ask my doctors about getting one from home, since i struggle with solids and all, but i saw a shit GI doctor who basically said that if i wasn't going to eat, then just don't eat.


You can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise inside your head. 

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 80s...? too fucking high no matter what... 

 

UGW: 55? 50? Wha about 45...? Doesn't matter... hopefully I'll be dead soon anyway

 

 

 


#19 anorexicduty

anorexicduty

    Queen of Hearts

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 23354 posts
  • LocationMaryland, US

Posted 03 August 2019 - 06:56 AM

Feeding tubes DO o'T have to hurt when they're inserted.

 

But doctors and nurses tend to make it painful as a reminder not to repeat the same behavior.

But that's just abusive immaturity.   They have no right to MAKE it more painful.

 

I had a nurse that was pumping my stomach after an O.D. and they def. made it more painful intentionally.

They really crammed up my nose and into my stomach.

Assholes.


 
 
Ht.: 5'7" | SW:147 lbs.| CW::125.4 lbs.| BMI: 19.6  
(6-26-2020)
 
 

Trump Still Sucks

 


#20 koala_

koala_

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5914 posts
  • Locationthe broken emoji in my sig is part of my aesthetic

Posted 03 August 2019 - 07:02 AM

I get it. When I was tubed, I hated every second of it, it hurt and I hated the loss of control. Now the loss of control almost seems a little appealing... if I could just be told what do to as far as calories go through a tube, I wouldn’t have to worry about too much, too little, safe foods, binging, purging...I’d just have to do what they said.
The worst part about when I was tube fed though was I wasn’t in an ed hospital so they took the tube out and reinserted it every time they used it... they did this for every meal not finished 100% and every purge so sometimes I was getting tubed 3-4 times a day. They didn’t X-ray it or anything like they’re supposed to, they just put a stethoscope on your stomach and bolused a puff of air into it and listened for the air. I got so many nosebleeds and it hurt so bad...they used a big tube not those dainty ones that I see on here. Pic in spoiler sorry it’s so unflattering
Wow #tubeflashbacks
Spoiler



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

accountability (with pictures!)

my breast lift before/after!

 

5'10

hw: 215 (30.8)

cw/lw: 105.9 (15.2) - 7/19/20

 

gw: 115 (16.5) - 5/13/20

gw: 113 (16.2) - 5/23/20

gw: 111 (15.9) - 6/6/20

gw: 109 (15.6) - 6/11/20

gw: 107 (15.4) - 6/16/20

gw: 105 (15.1)

gw: 104.2 (14.9)

 

ugw: 110 (15.8) - 6/9/20

ugw: 99 (14.2)


~ koala's thinspo ~ thongspo ~ swimspo ~ stockings ~

~ short hair thinspo ~ smokespo ~ #getcrunk ~ fur friends ~

august 4, 2019 




Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Tube feeding, Ng tube, Anorexia, Fasting, Nasogastric tube

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users