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I have the urge to be tube fed?

Tube feeding Ng tube Anorexia Fasting Nasogastric tube

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30 replies to this topic

#21 much shiny very happy

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Posted 03 August 2019 - 09:26 AM

I get it. When I was tubed, I hated every second of it, it hurt and I hated the loss of control. Now the loss of control almost seems a little appealing... if I could just be told what do to as far as calories go through a tube, I wouldn’t have to worry about too much, too little, safe foods, binging, purging...I’d just have to do what they said.
The worst part about when I was tube fed though was I wasn’t in an ed hospital so they took the tube out and reinserted it every time they used it... they did this for every meal not finished 100% and every purge so sometimes I was getting tubed 3-4 times a day. They didn’t X-ray it or anything like they’re supposed to, they just put a stethoscope on your stomach and bolused a puff of air into it and listened for the air. I got so many nosebleeds and it hurt so bad...they used a big tube not those dainty ones that I see on here. Pic in spoiler sorry it’s so unflattering
Wow #tubeflashbacks

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what The F U C K? I'm so sorry that looks like it would have been awful! How does someone even think that could be a good idea...


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#22 koala_

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Posted 03 August 2019 - 09:28 AM

what The F U C K? I'm so sorry that looks like it would have been awful! How does someone even think that could be a good idea...


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It was noooot pretty I was probably tubed 30-50 times in that period, tbh I feel like I should've contacted some sort of rights agency but I'd like to leave it in the past now. They half-threatened me with a g-tube and I was like "DO IT END THIS" but it was an empty threat the whole time


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#23 Minnnd.slayer

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 02:18 PM

i was fine with being tubed since i learned how to pruge through the tube and was quite manipulative the last time. That was until they sedated and fixated me since they saw through me scheme and i really really dont wanna go through that again and its actually the main reason why i try to hide my relapse as much as possible and really hope that either a miracle occurs or that i die before i end up on the tube again


TAKE YOUR ELECTROLYTES


#24 koala_

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 02:46 PM

been in treatment the last 12yrs have be tubed quite a few times I hate having the tube but when I don't have it I miss it :(

This is exactly me...it hurts, you have no control anymore, you KNOW you’re going to gain, you feel like you’re letting your family down...but then when you don’t have it you feel like youre “failing”, plus you’re forced to actually eat to stay alive instead of “just having to do it” through the tube
(Or, that’s me I guess, shouldn’t assume anyone else feels the same )


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accountability (with pictures!)

my breast lift before/after!

 

5'10

hw: 215 (30.8)

cw/lw: 105.9 (15.2) - 7/19/20

 

gw: 115 (16.5) - 5/13/20

gw: 113 (16.2) - 5/23/20

gw: 111 (15.9) - 6/6/20

gw: 109 (15.6) - 6/11/20

gw: 107 (15.4) - 6/16/20

gw: 105 (15.1)

gw: 104.2 (14.9)

 

ugw: 110 (15.8) - 6/9/20

ugw: 99 (14.2)


~ koala's thinspo ~ thongspo ~ swimspo ~ stockings ~

~ short hair thinspo ~ smokespo ~ #getcrunk ~ fur friends ~

august 4, 2019 


#25 meh-in-trouble

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 03:04 PM

I feel you so bad. I had (or have? don't know actually) the urge to be tubed to. swallowing was so hard for me, exhausting and it hurted like hell and I was hoping for tube so bad because I was so so so afraid of regular food. I told my boyfriend about it, that liquid is so much easier for me. Lately, They made me eat at IP. It was painful.

 

long story shor, I totally get you and I'm sending so much love to you.


I'm sorry for all the pain I caused, my love...


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Who cares about GW anymore?

 


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#26 starrygemini

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 03:28 PM

i would say it’s probably better to go back to inpatient to get one and also get help with recovery so that they can help you get off of it slowly and help you get back to a more normal eating pattern that you can sustain without a tube. because a tube feed should really only be a temporary and absolutely necessary step towards recovery. doctor’s will know the right time to put one in and take it out, and they know the right amount and speed of feeding to put you on. i couldn’t imagine trying to figure that all myself, and it took multiple adjustments to mine to find the right amount that i could handle and when i was ready to go up or down on the feeding. and i can’t imagine inserting it myself, especially because at ip the nurses had to constantly check that it was in the correct place to avoid it going into the lungs and such.
i hated being tubed so much and it gave me SO much anxiety, i pulled it out multiple times because i felt i couldn’t handle it. insertion was uncomfortable, especially when they had to put it back in after it being pulled out.

but i think that without medical help, it’s going to be difficult to know when you’re ready to take it out and reintroduce solid foods. because they really should just be temporary while you’re working on weight restoration and being able to gain the strength to eat solids again. but that’s just my take.
height: 5'2cw: 100 lbslw: 85 lbs<p>gw1: 96 lbs

#27 _TeaAndBones_

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 05:49 PM

i want a surgical GJ tube tbh, but that’s cuz i have gastroparesis and during flares it would make life so much easier
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#28 imjustme456

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 06:45 PM

I totally understand how you feel. I hate having to choose to eat and I hate having to chew and swallow...
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#29 emmajoy82

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Posted 22 January 2020 - 08:58 AM

When I have to physically eat I try to chew as many times as I can... I know it sounds stupid but I feel like I'm at least burning a few calories every meal from it (even if it's not true it helps me rationalize what I'm eating... even though I'm vegan so there's pretty much a 0% chance that I eat anything that isn't fruit or veg).


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#30 sprintergirl

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 04:00 PM

i feel this so hard. things were so much easier in terms of deciding what to eat when i was on the tube, so i have that urge to go back to that, especially when i get into scary headspaces where i can barely eat an apple and shit like that. because while it may have sucked in other ways, it took away the need to make decisions for myself, and sometimes i wish i was back to that simplicity.


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#31 jackalyvia

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Posted 12 February 2020 - 01:23 PM

I understand the hari g chewing thing and hating solid food but couldn't you just get your nutrients from ensure or shakes? Avoid the pain of the tube and liquids are so much easier to deal with
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Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Tube feeding, Ng tube, Anorexia, Fasting, Nasogastric tube

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