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Guilt Over Not Breastfeeding


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#1 loveitblonde

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 06:28 AM

Anyone else have to give up on breastfeeding for whatever reason?

Even though I know it's the best choice for our family at this point, still feeling guilty.

Just wanted to see if anyone else was in the same boat.
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#2 whiskerz

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 11:40 PM

I felt terrible. But it was a relief when he had such positive results with weight gain after switching to formula. The good outweighs the bad and all I can say is I'd rather have a healthy baby, and that was what pushed me through the weaning process. Just keep reminding yourself it is the best choice and it gets easier to deal with x I'm sorry you're dealing with that right now.
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#3 loveitblonde

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 04:26 AM

I felt terrible. But it was a relief when he had such positive results with weight gain after switching to formula. The good outweighs the bad and all I can say is I'd rather have a healthy baby, and that was what pushed me through the weaning process. Just keep reminding yourself it is the best choice and it gets easier to deal with x I'm sorry you're dealing with that right now.


Finally at 3 weeks we just had a dr appt where she actually gained. She had lost weight at every weigh in prior. That was after only 3 days of formula only. Such a relief.
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#4 whiskerz

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 08:33 AM

Finally at 3 weeks we just had a dr appt where she actually gained. She had lost weight at every weigh in prior. That was after only 3 days of formula only. Such a relief.


Same situation here, it gets easier to deal with x

#5 Tobeworthyagain

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 08:45 AM

I can see I am ,late to the discussion here but I hope the little one is doing well! I had to quit breastfeeding because my little just wasnt satisfied.. She was on my damn tit like 19 hours a day i swear and i could never pump. and now shes probably the biggest kid in her age group


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#6 SmilingPuppet

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Posted 11 December 2018 - 03:21 PM

I was able to breast feed for ~6 months, so I'm not sure if my experience counts, but i had planned to go longer and had to stop due to losing my milk supply because of my ED.

I started an active job, was using days I'd work as an excuse to fast (so 2-3 24+ hour fasts a week) and trying to keep my calories below 1000 days I did eat. There were probably other factors, but I think that's the biggest one. I wasn't getting enough food for myself, much less enough to feed my daughter. I chose losing weight and my ED over her and that fucks with me very often. The guilt has been rough.

#7 TheShowMustGoOn

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Posted 26 December 2018 - 01:11 AM

Yea...I breastfeed for 10months and still felt guilty. At the end of the day, if the baby is healthy that’s all that matters. I’ve never heard someone say, “ I got arrested last night...but it’s my moms fault, she didn’t breastfeed me.”

lol just saying, once we get older I don’t think we blame short comings on if we were breastfed or not.


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#8 GloriousThorn

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Posted 05 January 2019 - 01:06 PM

I "recovered" from my ED about halfway into my pregnancy. I breastfed my daughter for 4.5 years (I know this isn't for everyone lol). I've just recently relapsed within the last 3 months or so (I've lost 25lbs so far). I truly believe that breastfeeding kept me away from acting out on my ED because I knew the direct link between what went into my body and how it would affect my daughter. I don't think weaning her was really a trigger of my relapse, but I did relapse about 3 months after weaning her. I think it was stress, other factors, and partly not having that responsibility of being a nursing mom.
I don't know your reasons for weaning but if it will lead to more happiness for you, less stress for your family and yourself, and won't compromise your baby's health, then go for it :)
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#9 subaudible

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 02:30 PM

yes. i tried to breastfeed both my kids. made it about 4 months with the first and about 3 with the second. felt horrible. just all the way around

 

with my first child, he was premature and was in the NICU for 4 weeks. I was pumping and we were there practically round the clock but i was not able to nurse him at all for the first week and then...i tried but he never really latched on...i felt like he just wasn't getting anything. and he was already used to the bottle. i kept up the pumping for 4 months but towards the end my supply was just barely anything. i gave up. and felt like the worst mother in the world. 

 

with the second it was even worse. and i was so pumped and had such a positive attitude that breastfeeding would go well this time because she went full term and i was healthier and she was healthy but she also had issues latching. i went to a lactation consultant and everything. but i got blocked then engorged and my nipples were raw and bled every time i tried to nurse her and it was so painful. i gave up after about 3 months. i remember squeezing my eyes shut through the pain and then opening them to see her looking up at me with blood trickling from a corner of her mouth...that was a bit of a crazy moment in my brain....


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#10 Frozen Grape

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Posted 29 December 2019 - 02:53 AM

Breast is most certainly not best if it's not the best option for you. Do not feel guilty, don't let anyone make you feel bad for feeding your baby the type of food you want to. 



#11 bipolar-mia

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Posted 03 March 2020 - 08:27 PM

My baby was born with a tongue tie and it was so painful trying to breastfeed. Gave up after a day. Worked out well for us - we could share feeds more easily so less pressure on me



#12 Zirafa

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Posted 03 March 2020 - 08:50 PM

I felt so guilty with both my kids. I went back to work when they were 3 months old and pumped, but my supply couldn’t keep pace just by pumping. But it was also such a relief to quit pumping and have more freedom. And finally restrict enough to lose weight! It’s very bittersweet.


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#13 back_to_skinny

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Posted 04 March 2020 - 12:32 AM

I was able to breast feed for ~6 months, so I'm not sure if my experience counts, but i had planned to go longer and had to stop due to losing my milk supply because of my ED.

I started an active job, was using days I'd work as an excuse to fast (so 2-3 24+ hour fasts a week) and trying to keep my calories below 1000 days I did eat. There were probably other factors, but I think that's the biggest one. I wasn't getting enough food for myself, much less enough to feed my daughter. I chose losing weight and my ED over her and that fucks with me very often. The guilt has been rough.

Thank you for being so honest!


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#14 mochroi

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Posted 04 March 2020 - 01:29 PM

My baby was born with a tongue tie and it was so painful trying to breastfeed. Gave up after a day. Worked out well for us - we could share feeds more easily so less pressure on me

Going through this at the moment. Breastfeeding is excruciating and it's so, so hard not to give up. I'm envious of you getting to share feeds! Currently lying next to my peacefully sleeping husband and lowkey wanting to murder him

My baby is getting her tongue tie snipped tomorrow, so I'm praying things will improve after that, because otherwise I genuinely don't think I can continue :-(

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#15 AngryOtter

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Posted 10 April 2020 - 06:17 PM

Starting to wean at one year here. I feel guilty even though we did great. Baby still loves nursing.

#16 mythics

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Posted 18 April 2020 - 03:02 PM

My little dude has a latching issue and because of that I'm unable to breast feed. I pump and he gets breastmilk that way, but my supply is nowhere near what it needs to be for him to exclusively live on that, so he gets like half breastmilk, half formula. He needs a sensitivity/allergy formula (Similac Alimentum) which is even more frustrating because if my supply was up to par he obviously wouldn't need that. I am SUPER self conscious about my milk supply and am doing everything I can to increase it. I feel so guilty and bad about it. When I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was be able to exclusively breastfeed or at least make enough to pump and bottle feed it exclusively. My husband tells me not to beat myself up about it so much, but with many things, easier said than done. UGH

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#17 Jazzylyn_

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Posted 21 April 2020 - 09:51 AM

I've been breastfeeding my baby girl for 6 months now. The ED is creeping back in and I'm trying so hard to find a way to lose weight yet keep my supply. Its tricky balance bc the only way I'm any good at losing weight is through starving. Honestly considering ending my breastfeeding journey bc despite me doing everything I can my supply is still getting low. I'll nurse but then still have to give her a bottle bc she didnt get enough. I've tried breastfeeding cookies and teas to increase my supply. Its helped some but only if I continuously take them. I feel pretty good about making it this far but I was really shooting for the year mark.

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#18 Jazzylyn_

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Posted 21 April 2020 - 09:59 AM

My little dude has a latching issue and because of that I'm unable to breast feed. I pump and he gets breastmilk that way, but my supply is nowhere near what it needs to be for him to exclusively live on that, so he gets like half breastmilk, half formula. He needs a sensitivity/allergy formula (Similac Alimentum) which is even more frustrating because if my supply was up to par he obviously wouldn't need that. I am SUPER self conscious about my milk supply and am doing everything I can to increase it. I feel so guilty and bad about it. When I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was be able to exclusively breastfeed or at least make enough to pump and bottle feed it exclusively. My husband tells me not to beat myself up about it so much, but with many things, easier said than done. UGH

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You should try lactation cookies, you can either buy them or make them homemade with a recipe online. They helped me the thing is though you have to have them often for it to help. First time I ate them my supply increased by like 3 or 4 ounces. I also have milkmaid tea which helped. Flaxseed also helped me. I would put it in my oatmeal for breakfast.
You can get the cookies from walmart, target, amazon. The ones I used are from a brand called munchkin milkmakers


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#19 89vision

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Posted 26 April 2020 - 01:43 PM

Starting to wean at one year here. I feel guilty even though we did great. Baby still loves nursing.

 

This was me.  It is funny how as moms we are all just guilty no matter what!  I got to a point where I just needed my body back to myself (not to lose weight, just in general) and so I weaned my son around 1/1.5 years old.  We started phasing out and one day I was just like, enough!!  I still feel bad about it because it was super comforting to him and it was such a special time.  


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#20 mythics

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Posted 27 April 2020 - 09:17 AM

Dp

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