I do have insurance but I've always been kind of against the idea of using meds unless it was absolutely necessary ya know? I just hate the idea of being reliant on something but it might just have to come to to that. I don't see a psychiatrist currently just because I haven't found one I've liked recently. I guess I'm a little picky about who I see. My friend just recommended me someone though, so I might try to get an appointment. Thank you for the suggestions, I do appreciate it
It is SO hard to find a good psychiatrist. I finally got one shortly after my daughter was born; I saw her for 10 years, and she is retiring now
She first put me down as having postpartum depression as my daughter was something like 3 weeks old. However, she was the only doctor who even thought to re-diagnose me from my major depression diagnosis of the late 1990s (by then it was 2008) after some time had gone on and it seemed to her more than postpartum stuff, so she diagnosed me with bipolar, II at first, then type I. (I was on SSRIs by the bucketload for most of 10 years, one of the worst things that a bipolar patient can be put on. The first doctor could have diagnosed the bipolar if he'd asked all the questions in all the right ways, but he was a mouthpiece for the Paxil reps, Paxil here, Paxil there, Paxil everywhere. Major depression & social anxiety, didn't even seem to bother him I weighed less than 100 lb., and I was already 19 or 20 then.) She did tell me the last time I saw her, I might be in a mixed state, so now I've got the "with mixed features" added to my diagnosis. I started seeing one of her colleagues (nowhere near as good as she was, but he's got good reviews, and compared to what's out there, he's terrific). I tried outside that clinic I went to...approximately 3 weeks after major surgery for a perforated ulcer last Valentine's Day (I'll have to post the pictures of that scar sometime; mostly it healed nicely but for one thicker sport that's pink around 1/2" long; the whole thing is approx. 5" belly button up). Anyway, this is a very major and horribly painful surgery, made childbirth look fun. This woman tells me she will not prescribe me a thing until I come back with my recent hospital records, my local pharmacy records, and the records from my mail order pharmacy. And she only takes calls when she is in her office, doesn't listen to her voicemail even on the weekend, over holidays, or vacations. I was like, "What?!" My old psychiatrist had an emergency cell phone you could call, and if she couldn't answer right away, she'd call you back as soon as she could and she had the ability to see my prescriptions on her computer, both local & mail order. After that horrid appt., I called the old clinic in absolute tears, got the good receptionist, and between her & my old psychiatrist, they worked me in for a couple of weeks to see my new psychiatrist. He does have the advantage of having talked to my old doctor and still can as she is working part-time, just less & less as time goes on. He has an emergency cell, and he tends to either answer it or get back with you within an hour. He's brisk and more efficient though, less personable, and I think he thinks things through super fast only he doesn't quite realize how fast he does. I have to go in with a list of things I want to mention/questions, or I'll be out before I remember even one of them. But he'll answer your questions or call you back if you leave a non emergency message with the front desk during work hours. He's better than a lot out there. Also, my old doctor, great as she was, treated in the manner she was taught, which meant prescribing longer acting benzos for anxiety. In my case, Klonopin (well, the generic, clonazepam). Tons of doctors won't prescribe it anymore as it's become a controlled substance now (wasn't when I was first prescribed it). But it's like all benzos; you get addicted. I have a script for 4 mg a day though I have gotten down to 3 mg most days (with an increase in Buspar; it always seems to be give & take). I always feel like I could just stop taking it and be fine, but I know the truth is otherwise. However, since my new doctor got my case from the old, he just kept me on the prescriptions she used, including the clonazepam. I'd like to get on less of it, but it would mean something else probably addictive too and maybe with more side effects for me; I already timed time-release Xanax, and that was a no-go (made me too sleepy).