Your sex drive? - Males with ED - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

Your sex drive?


  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#1 0quiet

0quiet

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • LocationThe Netherlands

Posted 10 February 2019 - 05:14 PM

This feels extremely fucking awkward to talk about, but I do want to know. Now, I suffer from really bad social anxiety, so that already puts a huge damper on my sexual experiences (though my sex drive is otherwise completely normal when I'm alone). But I've noticed that when I'm restricting (300/500cal or fasting), my sex drive goes down way too much. I feel very awkward about it, because I already have those struggles with anxiety, and another problem on top of that just really sucks. Wouldn't be a problem, but I'm dating someone that has neither problems you know...

I don't want to be that dude with all these damn issues, cause it must be off putting to the person you're dating. Now that I've gotten closer to him (emotionally) and my social anxiety is laying down a bit, I've got this problem with a low sex drive. We've met 3 times now and on the second date he wanted to take it there (I'm being so pg lol) and all I could basically do was please him. I kinda declined on him touching me, and he was fine and understanding, but I wonder how long I can keep that going. Knowing guys, that's gonna get old real fast.

We just had our third date and I basically ran back to this forum lol. We cuddled and kissed a lot, really great, and we've made plans for tomorrow (aka he's still interested) but nothing happened tonight and I'm scared I'm basically boring him by not having sex. I tried to ole' alcohol trick tonight, but while it made me more pleasurable to be around, it did nooothing to loosen me up physically.

I was wondering if any of you guys experience the same thing? How in the hell do you deal with this? I'm going from one problem to another. It's fucking me up man. This is just a major TMI but I'm hoping praying I'm not the only one. Please don't leave me hanging lol.


  • seasnake, Cydric, I_want_my_bones_back and 1 other like this

#2 seasnake

seasnake

    Serpent God of Fasting

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17930 posts
  • LocationHouston, we have a problem

Posted 11 February 2019 - 05:36 PM

Typically sex drive drops down when you are dropping weight, not so much when you are retaining weight and tends to return to normal when you weight goes back up to a healthy weight.  The reason for this is that when dropping weight or too low of weight the body seeks to preserve itself at the cost of reproduction as your body is more important than trying to reproduce so all the nutrients used for reproduction are instead used for self-preservation.  When you hold your weight steady/maintain weight your body can often enough go back into reproduction mode but if your weight is too low you may have to up it a bit, or at least take vitamin supplements.


  • 0quiet and notjudgemental like this

I was once told that you are what you eat and then I just cried and cried and cried cause no matter how much I wanted to be one I just couldn't bring myself to eating a skinny person.

My threads:   The Fasting Game    My Fasting Game Spreadsheet    Youtube Exercise Videos (No-Equipment): Organized into Routines    The Whoosh Effect    My Profile    My Pics


#3 Pizza Kamikaze

Pizza Kamikaze

    Advanced Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 696 posts

Posted 11 February 2019 - 06:01 PM

My sex drive made a brief appereance when I went through puberty and then disappeared forever.
  • Funeral4MyFat, myronsays, Ma-An and 3 others like this
My Accountability
Height 165cm / 5.4
72, 71,70, 69, 68, 67, 66, 65, 64, 63, 62, 61, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50
G1 70kg by Jan 31

G3 57kg by December 5th

#4 0quiet

0quiet

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • LocationThe Netherlands

Posted 11 February 2019 - 06:11 PM

Typically sex drive drops down when you are dropping weight, not so much when you are retaining weight and tends to return to normal when you weight goes back up to a healthy weight.  The reason for this is that when dropping weight or too low of weight the body seeks to preserve itself at the cost of reproduction as your body is more important than trying to reproduce so all the nutrients used for reproduction are instead used for self-preservation.  When you hold your weight steady/maintain weight your body can often enough go back into reproduction mode but if your weight is too low you may have to up it a bit, or at least take vitamin supplements.

Thanks for the info! I had the feeling it was something like that. Last week I restricted heavily and dropped a whole lot of weight, so it just made me nervous. This week won't be as severe so I hope that will help a bit. And vitamins! Yeah, started taking those today.



#5 0quiet

0quiet

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • LocationThe Netherlands

Posted 11 February 2019 - 06:12 PM

My sex drive made a brief appereance when I went through puberty and then disappeared forever.

That's pretty heavy! Do you mind it? Do you date and if yes, does it get in the way?



#6 Pizza Kamikaze

Pizza Kamikaze

    Advanced Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 696 posts

Posted 11 February 2019 - 07:03 PM

That's pretty heavy! Do you mind it? Do you date and if yes, does it get in the way?

Yeah, I didn't know asexuality was a thing, although I think there's smth wrong with my hormones. But back then I thought you had to pretend to like sex and get on with life.
My Accountability
Height 165cm / 5.4
72, 71,70, 69, 68, 67, 66, 65, 64, 63, 62, 61, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50
G1 70kg by Jan 31

G3 57kg by December 5th

#7 0quiet

0quiet

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 130 posts
  • LocationThe Netherlands

Posted 12 February 2019 - 07:54 AM

Yeah, I didn't know asexuality was a thing, although I think there's smth wrong with my hormones. But back then I thought you had to pretend to like sex and get on with life.
I don't mind it, my boyfriend of 8+ years in the other hand... he hates me deeply, and I mean that. He claims I've made his life miserable blah blah blah. *shrugs*

I do get a "romantic" flare up every 3 years or more but it's not really a sexual thing, more like platonically falling in love or becoming fixated with the idea of someone (boy or girl) the way they talk, look and their personality. So I walk around high on euphoria for a week or two breathing it all in like it's Summertime and then it's gone.

That's interesting, that could be a hormonal problem indeed. But asexuality is of course also possible. Can't be easy to keep a relationship going, especially that long. Is it still enjoyable at all?

As if it was planned, my sex drive came back yesterday. I saw the guy I'm dating and all was well (foreplay) until it kinda got "serious" and then anxiety just takes over. That always happens. I just pleasured him (which I do find enjoyable, not like I was forcing myself) and while he took a shower I finished myself off. Yeah, that's how I know it's not a hormonal issue or whatever, it's just the intimacy that freaks me the hell out :l Then I joined him in the shower. He didn't ask questions or whatever he was just like, "Oh, you finished?" and that was it. He's pretty gentle as far as I know him, so I'm glad it wasn't too uncomfortable afterwards, just beating myself up in my head as usual. Maybe it would actually be better if he asked if something was wrong, so he knows what's happening with me. But we're just dating and getting to know each other, I don't really want to open myself up that much you know :/ I'm sure it will come up at some point anyway, cause my anxiety isn't just in the bedroom. My mental issues make me feel like I'm undateable so I'm really just pretending I'm fine like any other person and I can't actually get into a relationship without him knowing what's up.

Anyway, vitamin pills might help. Why do they make those pills so damn big by the way, my gag reflex is sensitive as fuck


  • Cydric, sblsg and Junky228 like this

#8 mdmaprince

mdmaprince

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 114 posts

Posted 15 February 2019 - 09:44 PM

honestly not gonna keep it pg cuz so i can be more specific but i literally have not had a single issue with my sex drive ever and i went from 135 lbs to 114 lbs in 3 months so i was restricting low af and no issues but my only issue is my gag reflex is sensitive since ive been purging so im afraid of sex too im scared ill vomit on someones dick LMAO i just get anxiety about it because i feel like they would see me normal because i wear big sweaters so they wouldnt know that im so skinny so when im like riding that dick like a cowboy (yeehaw sis) and them focusing on my bones moving around


  • thom_green, 0quiet, Junky228 and 1 other like this
on my third run relapsed june 2020
sw: 135lbs
cw: 132.5lbs
gw: 120lbs
ugw: 75lbs
times relapsed: 3
times recovered: 3
times inpatient: 1
 
:wub:
 
a male with a ed? thats not a thing lol oh wait...
 
instagram: lucifersversace
snapchat: diorweave
feel free to follow/add me 

#9 skinnyboyeternal

skinnyboyeternal

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1678 posts
  • Locationhalfway between the gutter and the stars

Posted 17 February 2019 - 05:35 AM

well i will say that the E.D. fucked up my hormones for quite awhile. cyberporn during my puberty time (which came late, thanks to the ED) didn't help either.(though what are you supposed to do when you look 12 lol), though i kinda had to rehabilitate myself to women and society for awhile. now that i'm done growing i just feel skinnyfat so i vape a lot and dont eat a lot so of course my sex drive isnt going to be the highest. if i eat normally though i get really fucking horny.

 

truth is, if you dont eat, you wont have a sex drive. eat like a monk to have sex like one.


  • 0quiet likes this

zg92Xc4.jpg

0R43TgM.png

 
 
giphy.gif

 

ezgif-3-faae8c17fd19.gif

 

 

 


#10 Späcebøy

Späcebøy

    Sage

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1060 posts
  • LocationEast coast industrial stinktown, USA

Posted 19 February 2019 - 02:43 PM

My sex drive made a brief appereance when I went through puberty and then disappeared forever.

 

I think your sex drive must've picked up my sex drive hitchhiking somewhere in Wyoming. The bastard doesn't even call or write.


  • Pizza Kamikaze, 【Joeri】 and 4mbigu0us like this

Accountability & random rambles (i.e. food vomits & word vomits)…….Späcebøy's Descent into the Meal-ström

Feel free to cyber stalk me on YouTube. I have no shame...…..............https://www.youtube.com/c/channelzig


#11 Cydric

Cydric

    Advanced Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 457 posts
  • LocationAustin, Texas

Posted 27 February 2019 - 01:53 AM

I take antidepressants and mood stabilizers so my sex drive is diminished anyway. But I have severe anxiety when it comes to intimacy. I find it hard to keep it up when I'm with a guy. I guess I'm fucked too and not in a good way.

                        

“The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains.”

     

 

                                                    *Perfection is impossible but I can get damn near close*

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                HT:      6'1"

                                                HW:    221

                                                CW:    176

                                            GW:    150

                                                UGW: 140


#12 【Joeri】

【Joeri】

    Sage

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1051 posts
  • LocationBelgium

Posted 04 March 2019 - 04:24 AM

I got to say mine got higher now and it can be quite annoying at times. and I also have anxiety.

"Ik wacht al zo lang
Op een antwoord dat niemand kan geven
Ik wacht al zo lang
Maar tevergeefs, ik ga dood van het leven"


M | 29 | 🇧🇪


#13 Guest_pink_kate_*

Guest_pink_kate_*
  • Guests

Posted 04 March 2019 - 07:50 AM

same. when I'm restricting, my sex drive just... dissapears. But I don't even want to have a boyfriend, so-



#14 MadMasterMax

MadMasterMax

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 107 posts

Posted 25 August 2019 - 01:50 PM

not to be tmi but I did tend to masturbate when avoiding food (at home only I promise!!) and I kinda think thats why my sex drive has went up instead of down like it's meant to 


  • gamedayspecial and MrAnathletic like this

Height: 5'1

HW: 74kg/163lbs

CW: 66.4kgs/146.4lbs

LW: 58.8gs/129.6lbs

 

Tumblr

 

GW 1 66kgs145lbs // BMI 27.4

GW 2: 58kgs/128lbs // BMI 24.18

GW3: 50kgs/110lbs // BMI 20.8

GW4: 42kgs/92lbs // BMI 17.3

UGW: 36kgs/80lbs // BMI 15

 


#15 ozatana

ozatana

    Advanced Warrior

  • Validating
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 422 posts

Posted 25 August 2019 - 02:11 PM

No sex drive due to extremely low bodyfat and me being the dumbfuck I am, I'd rather be silly shredded than have a libido

#16 Pizza Kamikaze

Pizza Kamikaze

    Advanced Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 696 posts

Posted 02 September 2019 - 11:29 AM

not to be tmi but I did tend to masturbate when avoiding food (at home only I promise!!) and I kinda think thats why my sex drive has went up instead of down like it's meant to


Maybe you're subconsciously just trying to raise your serotonine levels.
  • Junky228 likes this
My Accountability
Height 165cm / 5.4
72, 71,70, 69, 68, 67, 66, 65, 64, 63, 62, 61, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50
G1 70kg by Jan 31

G3 57kg by December 5th

#17 MadMasterMax

MadMasterMax

    Advanced Member

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPip
  • 107 posts

Posted 06 September 2019 - 01:17 PM

Maybe you're subconsciously just trying to raise your serotonine levels.

oof don't call out my depression like that


  • Pizza Kamikaze, 4mbigu0us and Weldon like this

Height: 5'1

HW: 74kg/163lbs

CW: 66.4kgs/146.4lbs

LW: 58.8gs/129.6lbs

 

Tumblr

 

GW 1 66kgs145lbs // BMI 27.4

GW 2: 58kgs/128lbs // BMI 24.18

GW3: 50kgs/110lbs // BMI 20.8

GW4: 42kgs/92lbs // BMI 17.3

UGW: 36kgs/80lbs // BMI 15

 


#18 I_want_my_bones_back

I_want_my_bones_back

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 41 posts

Posted 29 September 2019 - 11:40 PM

I 100% understand you...low sex drive tell me about it.. I was with my ex half a year before the first nookie..

#19 peterpeternotaneater

peterpeternotaneater

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 10 October 2019 - 03:47 AM

Hey, 19 year old college male here. I totally feel you on this subject. I had a girlfriend for a bit when i first got here but i think she got bored of me pretty fast. she never went down on me and we never had all the way sex. I couldn't do it. I tried to explain that i relapsed really bad and she didn't really understand that meant im gonna be a shell of a person for a while and she started yelling at me a lot about random shit so I dumped her. It really fucks with people. She was a bitch honestly but like.. I was dating a beautiful girl. Its everything I would have wanted when I was younger but I couldn't really even enjoy it.


  • notjudgemental likes this

230/225/215/205/195/185/175/165/155/145/135/130/125/120

 

How the fuck did I lose 100 pounds


#20 Cyclades

Cyclades

    Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1078 posts
  • LocationAtlantis

Posted 21 January 2020 - 10:19 AM

.
  • Junky228 likes this


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users