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#441 relaxingterror

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Posted 17 June 2020 - 06:00 PM

Thank you!! It’s been raining since I posted that, so no long hike yet


Oof that suckss:( I hope the weather improves!! It's hot as ballz where I am!

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CW: 118lb

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GW: 106lb


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#442 Winterfae

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Posted 17 June 2020 - 11:05 PM

Hey I wonder if anyone in this thread could give me a kick in the (ever increasing) ass to get back to working out. 

 

I was 48kg (BMI 16, my safe weight so I can still work out but be comfortable in my body) in March and ran my first official 10k, I placed 3rd womens finisher but it was just a charity thing. After that I was upping my distance during lockdown, and ran a half marathon, just for fun. I was doing good eating foraged and clean foods from the zero waste shop... then... idk. I just lost it. I've gained 7kg (probably 8kg by now) and haven't been a run in weeks. I haven't done any weight training since the gyms closed. I am struggling so much to live in the body but I know that I could get the muscle mass back, I could lose the fat, I could regain my fitness... it would take work but I could do it. I just don't even know how to get the motivation. I'm a sugar addict so I have to avoid it completely, I have AN b/p but my ethical values and root of the ED is actually in clean eating, health and sustainability for environmental reasons. My ED is screwing all that up, I'm back to plastic packed junk food and I'm the least active I've ever been in my life. 

 

Going a 10ish mile hike tomorrow with a friend as my first social distanced meet up for months, but idk if that will be enough to get me started. I have big projects. Since 2016 I cumulatively calculated my ascent distance to run up out of the Mariana Trench, then up Everest. My next project was going to be cumulative distance instead, across the Atlantic. Anywa sorry for the massive story I just wonder if anyone has been where I am, and how you got back to clean and fit from square one without just losing yourself in depression about lost progress (and lost abs) 

 

Sorry if this is out of place, I'm just desperate and like, I feel this might be the place where you understand the conflicts I'm facing. It's not entirely about being thin, and cutting cals is fine but I want to be clean, you know? 


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#443 Death.grips

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 12:15 AM

I went for a 7 mile hike today! It felt really easy. We are planning to attempt a 20 mile one this week in one go. I’ve never done that many in one go (16 is my record). I think I can do it, but my dude has early signs of hip dysplasia and I don’t want him to get hurt, so we will see.
Here’s a pic from the hike with my pup zooming!
b7162dd45394b9cc414de4bf08bb038c.jpg


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Bruh this looks like the mountains from the sound of music I love


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#444 Kena

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 01:18 AM

Hey I wonder if anyone in this thread could give me a kick in the (ever increasing) ass to get back to working out. 

 

I'm in a very similar place as you, I've been losing and gaining the same kgs for years, all because I keep relapsing into binge eating and I lose interest in exercise. But honestly, if you don't wanna do it, or if you feel like you're stuck in a slump, no one's gonna be able to fix that for you. For me self hatred works wonders tho and always gets me back on track lmao. 



#445 relaxingterror

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 07:23 AM

Hey I wonder if anyone in this thread could give me a kick in the (ever increasing) ass to get back to working out.

I was 48kg (BMI 16, my safe weight so I can still work out but be comfortable in my body) in March and ran my first official 10k, I placed 3rd womens finisher but it was just a charity thing. After that I was upping my distance during lockdown, and ran a half marathon, just for fun. I was doing good eating foraged and clean foods from the zero waste shop... then... idk. I just lost it. I've gained 7kg (probably 8kg by now) and haven't been a run in weeks. I haven't done any weight training since the gyms closed. I am struggling so much to live in the body but I know that I could get the muscle mass back, I could lose the fat, I could regain my fitness... it would take work but I could do it. I just don't even know how to get the motivation. I'm a sugar addict so I have to avoid it completely, I have AN b/p but my ethical values and root of the ED is actually in clean eating, health and sustainability for environmental reasons. My ED is screwing all that up, I'm back to plastic packed junk food and I'm the least active I've ever been in my life.


Why did you stop? The first step to getting 'back on the horse' is to quit complaining and just do it. Every morning is a new day to better yourself. Forget all of the nonsense; seize the day!! xo

Currently a fat piece of shit.

CW: 118lb

LW: 115lb

GW: 106lb


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#446 Katatat

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 12:35 PM

Hey I wonder if anyone in this thread could give me a kick in the (ever increasing) ass to get back to working out.

I was 48kg (BMI 16, my safe weight so I can still work out but be comfortable in my body) in March and ran my first official 10k, I placed 3rd womens finisher but it was just a charity thing. After that I was upping my distance during lockdown, and ran a half marathon, just for fun. I was doing good eating foraged and clean foods from the zero waste shop... then... idk. I just lost it. I've gained 7kg (probably 8kg by now) and haven't been a run in weeks. I haven't done any weight training since the gyms closed. I am struggling so much to live in the body but I know that I could get the muscle mass back, I could lose the fat, I could regain my fitness... it would take work but I could do it. I just don't even know how to get the motivation. I'm a sugar addict so I have to avoid it completely, I have AN b/p but my ethical values and root of the ED is actually in clean eating, health and sustainability for environmental reasons. My ED is screwing all that up, I'm back to plastic packed junk food and I'm the least active I've ever been in my life.

Going a 10ish mile hike tomorrow with a friend as my first social distanced meet up for months, but idk if that will be enough to get me started. I have big projects. Since 2016 I cumulatively calculated my ascent distance to run up out of the Mariana Trench, then up Everest. My next project was going to be cumulative distance instead, across the Atlantic. Anywa sorry for the massive story I just wonder if anyone has been where I am, and how you got back to clean and fit from square one without just losing yourself in depression about lost progress (and lost abs)

Sorry if this is out of place, I'm just desperate and like, I feel this might be the place where you understand the conflicts I'm facing. It's not entirely about being thin, and cutting cals is fine but I want to be clean, you know?

I feel you, and I’m sorry you’re going through this! I don’t have any advice, as usually getting out of it is like an unplanned light switch, but it sounds like the hike is the right thing to get you back into the love of it. I hope it is.
My job keeps me extremely active so even when I gain and stop exercising I don’t lose too much muscle (never ever ever quitting this job).
Be patient with yourself, sounds like your body has taken over; I gained quite a bit recently, mainly just overeating or b/p, so I’m here with you.
Positive vibes my friend.


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"Performance is most easily improved not by adding things, but by removing obstacles."

 

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#447 Katatat

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 02:28 PM

It’s finally stopped raining y’all! There’s a chance for drizzle, but we are going climbing & hiking. My dude is a little hungover, so I’ll likely be leading. IM SO EXCITED


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#448 Katatat

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 02:29 PM

Bruh this looks like the mountains from the sound of music I love


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Hahahaha it totally does


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"Performance is most easily improved not by adding things, but by removing obstacles."

 

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#449 Fat Mac

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Posted 18 June 2020 - 04:53 PM

My husband is convinced I have a thyroid condition and it's fuckin me up because on one hand, shit if I could get prescribed thyroid meds that make me drop weight I'd be thrilled, on the other, they'd probably take away my Vyvanse and also I'd need to get blood work done and I am absolutely irrationally terrified of getting blood drawn and also don't fuckin give me another thing to worry about you dweeb.

I am a weak little drug-fueled baby who uses bumper plates on bench to make myself feel better about how sad my numbers are lmao. But at least my deadlift is almost up to a proper full plate. Almost.

On the plus side, my local Walmart finally got the keto Halo Tops and I am in heaven.
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sorry, mom. sorry, god.

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#450 Katatat

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Posted 19 June 2020 - 12:07 PM

My husband is convinced I have a thyroid condition and it's fuckin me up because on one hand, shit if I could get prescribed thyroid meds that make me drop weight I'd be thrilled, on the other, they'd probably take away my Vyvanse and also I'd need to get blood work done and I am absolutely irrationally terrified of getting blood drawn and also don't fuckin give me another thing to worry about you dweeb.

I am a weak little drug-fueled baby who uses bumper plates on bench to make myself feel better about how sad my numbers are lmao. But at least my deadlift is almost up to a proper full plate. Almost.

On the plus side, my local Walmart finally got the keto Halo Tops and I am in heaven.


Why does he think you have a thyroid condition???
I am so terrified of bloodwork. Don’t need those problems lol

I’m glad to hear you’re seeing progress though!!


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"Performance is most easily improved not by adding things, but by removing obstacles."

 

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#451 Katatat

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Posted 19 June 2020 - 12:09 PM

5b175faff48e5b84acc7a335da58eeb0.jpg
589344663732a6ef54c53e62b4accc16.jpg
9f4c0f38ba0e95c9dffe38dfbb4b400f.jpg

Did a quick 5 mile hike, then the approach to this wall then climbed!
God I missed it


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#452 Fat Mac

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Posted 19 June 2020 - 07:52 PM

Why does he think you have a thyroid condition???
I am so terrified of bloodwork. Don’t need those problems lol

I’m glad to hear you’re seeing progress though!!


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Mostly because I shed like a housecat. Like I know everybody sheds, but I do it to the point where people notice, and especially since my hair is a unique color. My ex from years ago (still mild friends, mostly because he started purging and unintentionally opened up to the one person with experience on that and now we occasionally talk about our half-assed attempts at recovery lmao) moved to a new apartment a while back and texted me to let me know he *still* found my hair stuck to his stuff. Also my husband doesn't know about my ED so he thinks my weight fluctuations are something l m a o. But since I've been a lot better recently and he's seen that I do still respond to caloric deficit he had calmed down on it a bit. Buuuut then I did end up having to get a small amount of blood drawn this week (I cried like a massive baby btw there's another [email protected]) and I had a couple things that were borderline high or low and now he's back on the "you need a complete metabolic panel" train.

Also, unrelated to the above, fucking Jefit went down completely at the exact moment I tried to mark my workout as complete, unclear if it counted any of it since one page looks like it still thinks it's in progress but doesn't give me the option to finish and now I can't log in at all even. And since this is not the first time it's glitched out on me in ways nobody else seems to have run into and I'm lightweight (read: not lightweight) pissed at it, I guess I'm going back to Strong. Which, switching back and forth between the two completely negates any tracking it was doing for me, so great. Great great great. Ass.

sorry, mom. sorry, god.

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#453 lost.in.eternity

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Posted 21 June 2020 - 01:47 PM

I had this goal, to ski 200 days, human powered this season. I got wicked sick this winter (once in December, for real, thought I was never, ever, ever going to be healthy ever again and then again in early March, where I couldn't even get out of bed for 5 straight days) so I got WAY behind on my days. But when covid hit and I lost my job, it was the only thing that kept me sane, to keep going out and ski. 

Fortunately, I'm lucky enough that I live in this awesome area where I can literally ski out my back door, especially in March/April/May. (Not anymore, it's all melted out) So, as I was skiing every day, I kinda gave up on any sort of actual...meal plan. When I'm extremely active and not restricting, my body just loves to be in the high 120's, which is infuriating, because it's obviously where my body likes to be from an athletic standpoint, but it's where I start really hating myself. 

Anyway, I officially got in my 200 days! (Actually, I'm at 201, apparently I can't count.) I'm also DOG tired. Like, holy moly. Thursday was my official last day (hiking out 9 miles from my last ski), and Friday I literally didn't even leave the house I was so tired. Yesterday I managed to go for a small walk, today, I don't know? But I am pleased - my resting heart rate has been super jacked, because I've been so exhausted, and in three days, I've gone from 72 for my resting HR to 62, so really happy with that. 

...Hopefully, now I can start practicing some self control??

5f6dd5113874e9147107126f8c80e671.jpg
Pic from the last ski day! Made it a 2 night trip - we had to hike in 9 miles, and then it was a 6 mile tough off trail navigation to the Couloir we were skiing the next day. So fantastically gorgeous!


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Height: 5'6"

HW: 140
LW: 94
CW: 118
 
GW1:125
GW2: 120
GW3: 115
GW4: 110
UGW: ?? 
 
Do not go gentle into that good night
...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
 
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#454 lost.in.eternity

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Posted 21 June 2020 - 01:50 PM

5b175faff48e5b84acc7a335da58eeb0.jpg
589344663732a6ef54c53e62b4accc16.jpg
9f4c0f38ba0e95c9dffe38dfbb4b400f.jpg

Did a quick 5 mile hike, then the approach to this wall then climbed!
God I missed it


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13266fdad0fe5737d772b68cea7f340d.jpg

I mentioned a while ago that we had mountain twins - here’s mine


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Height: 5'6"

HW: 140
LW: 94
CW: 118
 
GW1:125
GW2: 120
GW3: 115
GW4: 110
UGW: ?? 
 
Do not go gentle into that good night
...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
 
Accountability: 

#455 sn4rkie

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Posted 22 June 2020 - 10:05 AM

Just​ gonna go ahead and jump into this thread. My people!  :lol: 


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giphy.gif

 

https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4046911-body-check-dump-♡-59-200-130

 

177 cm — 24.4

 

HW: 203

LW: 155

 

199 198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190 : 28.1

189 188 187 186 185 184 183 182 181 180 : 26.6

179 178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 : 25.1

169 168 167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 : 23.6

159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 : 22.2

149 148 147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 : 20.7

139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 : 19.5


#456 Katatat

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 08:40 PM

I had this goal, to ski 200 days, human powered this season. I got wicked sick this winter (once in December, for real, thought I was never, ever, ever going to be healthy ever again and then again in early March, where I couldn't even get out of bed for 5 straight days) so I got WAY behind on my days. But when covid hit and I lost my job, it was the only thing that kept me sane, to keep going out and ski.
Fortunately, I'm lucky enough that I live in this awesome area where I can literally ski out my back door, especially in March/April/May. (Not anymore, it's all melted out) So, as I was skiing every day, I kinda gave up on any sort of actual...meal plan. When I'm extremely active and not restricting, my body just loves to be in the high 120's, which is infuriating, because it's obviously where my body likes to be from an athletic standpoint, but it's where I start really hating myself.

Anyway, I officially got in my 200 days! (Actually, I'm at 201, apparently I can't count.) I'm also DOG tired. Like, holy moly. Thursday was my official last day (hiking out 9 miles from my last ski), and Friday I literally didn't even leave the house I was so tired. Yesterday I managed to go for a small walk, today, I don't know? But I am pleased - my resting heart rate has been super jacked, because I've been so exhausted, and in three days, I've gone from 72 for my resting HR to 62, so really happy with that.

...Hopefully, now I can start practicing some self control??

5f6dd5113874e9147107126f8c80e671.jpg
Pic from the last ski day! Made it a 2 night trip - we had to hike in 9 miles, and then it was a 6 mile tough off trail navigation to the Couloir we were skiing the next day. So fantastically gorgeous!


Dude, that is amazing!! Congratulations!!


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#457 relaxingterror

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 11:20 PM

Took the weekend off from training. Unheard of. I've gotten my period twice this month, which made me so tired and out of it, too much so to train. Today I was SO hormonal. Took some pregnenalone, that helped ALOT. Trained today and yesterday. Going for a run with the guy tomorrow. Purged tonight. Regardless the run should be good tomorrow, I can't waittttt

Currently a fat piece of shit.

CW: 118lb

LW: 115lb

GW: 106lb


"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."

https://tthoughtsexp...ixsite.com/home

#458 lost.in.eternity

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Posted 23 June 2020 - 11:22 PM

Dude, that is amazing!! Congratulations!!


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Thanks hun! I 'bout killed myself doing it, but damn...the adrenaline rush/endorphin high! I actually have been feeling like crap - and I think it's the lack of those pumping through my body constantly 


Height: 5'6"

HW: 140
LW: 94
CW: 118
 
GW1:125
GW2: 120
GW3: 115
GW4: 110
UGW: ?? 
 
Do not go gentle into that good night
...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
 
Accountability: 

#459 Katatat

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Posted 24 June 2020 - 09:29 AM

Thanks hun! I 'bout killed myself doing it, but damn...the adrenaline rush/endorphin high! I actually have been feeling like crap - and I think it's the lack of those pumping through my body constantly

Do you know what you were sick with?? I have a buddy who does uphill ski challenges; he just did 100,000 human powered vert in a couple months, and blew it out of the water at 125k! I’d love to do something like that. Though it’s too late now for snow! Maybe trail running.
Oh man and then Aaron Rice doing 2.5mil in a year!!! He looked like literal death, but I was (and still am) so amazed at the dedication (also at your feat). Do you have any plans to reward yourself or just the achievement in itself??
I really really want to come up with a goal that will take some dedication from me. I feel like I haven’t achieved anything in years.


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"Performance is most easily improved not by adding things, but by removing obstacles."

 

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#460 Katatat

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Posted 24 June 2020 - 09:30 AM

Took the weekend off from training. Unheard of. I've gotten my period twice this month, which made me so tired and out of it, too much so to train. Today I was SO hormonal. Took some pregnenalone, that helped ALOT. Trained today and yesterday. Going for a run with the guy tomorrow. Purged tonight. Regardless the run should be good tomorrow, I can't waittttt


Rest days are so good!!
I’m sorry about the double period. Mine is so irregular, and it’s pretty infuriating to get it more than once a month.
I hope the run goes well!


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"Performance is most easily improved not by adding things, but by removing obstacles."

 

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