i feel so ridiculous because i've written 165 pages of the life of this original character i made up with an ED. at first, it was for the fun of writing, but the more i built her character the more i couldn't stop writing snippits of her life from high school thru like 40 years old. it's honestly so embarrassing... like there's this thing, this thing that i've spent hours and hours writing for the last two years but. i. can't. show. anyone.
I mean first of all... i hardly know anyone irl who wouldn't cringe at the idea of writing an ED story, and secondly, my writing... is actually really cringey in itself. Also there's not even like a definitive storyline at all it's literally just dramatic shots (and probably poorly written) of this poor woman's life including her work life, her home life, her family life, and just moments in which her ED rly comes through and affects important situations throughout her life. yeah anyway it's trash it's just a shit ton of trash and idk what to do with it
like idk it feels like i have this secret that i can't help but tell people that i've written something this long but i can never tell them what it is. they assume that i'm just not ready to show them bc it's not done like whatever just some other stuff but like literally i can never show it to most people i know. and regardless, even most of the people i know irl with eds would think it's kinda weird that i've been writing this. it doesn't exactly scream pro-recovery, but it's still cathartic. sometimes i act out on behaviors through my main character instead of doing them irl.
anyway thanks for reading my secret that i've literally told like three or four people in my life basically and i don't even really know some of those people anymore