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#1 420forever

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Posted 15 July 2019 - 06:29 PM

Hey,
Today is day 3 of me knowing I’m pregnant. I’m probably 2 weeks along. I’m struggling very badly. To eat, to not smoke weed or to stop drinking beer. I bought o’doules non alcoholic beer yesterday but then found it had .5 of alchol :/ I still am drinking it. I want to cut myself. I want to be a mom but I don’t know if I’m ready to give it all up.
I need some friends
If anyone can kik me is 160to100 or just write on this post or just message me. Please please please.

#2 420forever

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Posted 17 July 2019 - 10:36 PM

I’m back at my lw, I hope to loose 9 more pounds before gaining baby weight idk if it’s possible tho.

#3 420forever

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Posted 18 July 2019 - 11:15 PM

Ok today I gained 1 pound and I also ate so badly, chips, grilled cheese, tryna make up for it w veggie soup
I also took lax which I’m trying to not. It was a slip up ;(

#4 gorgeous.nightmare

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Posted 19 July 2019 - 09:58 AM

Following. You can do this. ☺️♥️
CW:146.8 lbs (Overweight)
GW1:COMPLETE!
GW2:140 lbs (Normal)
GW3:120 lbs
GW4:112 lbs
UGW:104 lbs (Underweight)

*Free from Bulimia for 2 years and 9 months*

#5 LadyBastet

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Posted 22 July 2019 - 06:07 AM

Be strong!!! We're here, I'm sure you'll be fine!

I'm pregnant too and I'm in my 24th week now (so almost in my 6th month).
I discovered it one week ago...I know...it's crazy (a very long story too).

Never wanted to have a child, but now I'm so glad and I just want to be a better person for my babyboy

I gained 2 kg in total(essentially since I started to see my belly growing), sonograms are very good.

People don't believe it because I have now a very tiny belly, but they say I look good and beautiful and I'm starting to accept my body.

It is very difficult not to think about fast, calories, purging and other stuff, but I've seen changes in my behaviour in these last days.

So don't be cruel to yourself. If you slip, you can try again, and again...

I'm sure you will start to love yourself more, believe me! Just take your time!

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#6 420forever

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Posted 22 July 2019 - 11:12 PM

Last night I ran off to the dispensary while my husband was at work, bought a joint and smoked it. I then told my husband. He was so mad. He yelled and banged his first.

I told him about ED and he said he knew, everyone knew but me.

But all my urges to harm myself went away. I ate 2 meals in 1 sitting since I had barely ate anything before. I’m scared to do this without weed.

I have my first doctors apt tomorrow to confirm this is all true. I’m gonna tell her how suicidal and self harmy I’ve been feeling without weed. This morning I was punching the bed and had to argue w the hub not to take me to the er.

I know she’ll prescribe me pills and make some start seeing a psychiatrist but I just don’t have the money for it. I really am suicidal with the weight, food, lack of weed, guilt. My husband says I’m being selfish. So? I’m the one on the earth. Plus isn’t it selfish to bring a human into this shitty ass world. I need fuckin help.
I was already depressed before getting pregnant but this is so much worse.
My husband suggested we tell our moms since he needs support. I said wait until the doctor tells me. I’m half expecting her to say I should get an abortion cus I clearly can’t handle it.
I looked online and if I miscarried I’d bleed for 2 weeks. Wonder how long I’ll bleed after birth. My friend is a midwife but her baby just died after she gave birth and it died in her arms so I don’t wanna trigger her. I’m scared.
I know I’m gonna be a wreck at the doctors. I’m scared I’ll get sectioned. I don’t want her to worry about me.
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#7 420forever

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Posted 22 July 2019 - 11:15 PM

Be strong!!! We're here, I'm sure you'll be fine!

I'm pregnant too and I'm in my 24th week now (so almost in my 6th month).
I discovered it one week ago...I know...it's crazy (a very long story too).

Never wanted to have a child, but now I'm so glad and I just want to be a better person for my babyboy

I gained 2 kg in total(essentially since I started to see my belly growing), sonograms are very good.

People don't believe it because I have now a very tiny belly, but they say I look good and beautiful and I'm starting to accept my body.

It is very difficult not to think about fast, calories, purging and other stuff, but I've seen changes in my behaviour in these last days.

So don't be cruel to yourself. If you slip, you can try again, and again...

I'm sure you will start to love yourself more, believe me! Just take your time!

sent from my Oneplus 6 using Tapatalk



2kg is nothing for how far along you are! You’re lucky! Is the baby healthy tho:/ I know your supposed to gain a lot more, unless you are already at a certain BMI. BMI is such bullshit btw lol.
Fuk.im proud of you.

#8 420forever

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Posted 22 July 2019 - 11:15 PM

I’ve gained 2 pounds. I think it’s food weight but still :(

#9 LadyBastet

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Posted 23 July 2019 - 03:12 AM

Last night I ran off to the dispensary while my husband was at work, bought a joint and smoked it. I then told my husband. He was so mad. He yelled and banged his first.

I told him about ED and he said he knew, everyone knew but me.

But all my urges to harm myself went away. I ate 2 meals in 1 sitting since I had barely ate anything before. I’m scared to do this without weed.

I have my first doctors apt tomorrow to confirm this is all true. I’m gonna tell her how suicidal and self harmy I’ve been feeling without weed. This morning I was punching the bed and had to argue w the hub not to take me to the er.

I know she’ll prescribe me pills and make some start seeing a psychiatrist but I just don’t have the money for it. I really am suicidal with the weight, food, lack of weed, guilt. My husband says I’m being selfish. So? I’m the one on the earth. Plus isn’t it selfish to bring a human into this shitty ass world. I need fuckin help.
I was already depressed before getting pregnant but this is so much worse.
My husband suggested we tell our moms since he needs support. I said wait until the doctor tells me. I’m half expecting her to say I should get an abortion cus I clearly can’t handle it.
I looked online and if I miscarried I’d bleed for 2 weeks. Wonder how long I’ll bleed after birth. My friend is a midwife but her baby just died after she gave birth and it died in her arms so I don’t wanna trigger her. I’m scared.
I know I’m gonna be a wreck at the doctors. I’m scared I’ll get sectioned. I don’t want her to worry about me.

I guess, first of all, you need to really reflect about this situation.
I know it's cruel to say, but you have to decide if you really want this baby or not, and consider if you now have the strenght to carry all of this on or not.

So, one step at a time, now!
Talk to your husband, but he don't have to be severe to you for this. You only need help and comprehension now!

sent from my Oneplus 6 using Tapatalk

#10 LadyBastet

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Posted 23 July 2019 - 03:25 AM



2kg is nothing for how far along you are! You’re lucky! Is the baby healthy tho:/ I know your supposed to gain a lot more, unless you are already at a certain BMI. BMI is such bullshit btw lol.
Fuk.im proud of you.


I guess it's genetic, because my mother had a tiny belly and she was very thin even during pregnancy.

Anyway, my babyboy is super healty! Normal dimension, all under control

I probably will gain moooore weight in the last 3 months, I'm getting ready to it

I am at the limit of underweight, doctors didn't say nothing about weight gain or something, because they see I look good. People only see a very tall girl with a lean body, a "normal" thinnes.

I had a crisis this morning about weight and food and I told my boyfriend about that. I often feel selfish because of that, I feel so irresponsible and bad...

But I just keep going. I eat well, sometimes it's difficult but I just think it's the best for me and the baby.


I guess your two pounds more are food weight, for sure


I really hope you find some strenght and will manage it.

Let me know soon

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#11 420forever

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Posted 23 July 2019 - 11:55 PM

I was back down to 109.4 my lw the past few days. I better be tomorrow too.
I hay first doctors appointment today. She confirmed the pregnancy, said I was at the low end of healthy weight. She took my blood to check my nutrition. She’s hooking me up w a therapist and psych ASAP.
I obviously need medication if I can’t smoke weed. Which is safer? Fuck
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#12 420forever

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Posted 23 July 2019 - 11:59 PM

I guess it's genetic, because my mother had a tiny belly and she was very thin even during pregnancy.

Anyway, my babyboy is super healty! Normal dimension, all under control

I probably will gain moooore weight in the last 3 months, I'm getting ready to it


I am at the limit of underweight, doctors didn't say nothing about weight gain or something, because they see I look good. People only see a very tall girl with a lean body, a "normal" thinnes.

I had a crisis this morning about weight and food and I told my boyfriend about that. I often feel selfish because of that, I feel so irresponsible and bad...

But I just keep going. I eat well, sometimes it's difficult but I just think it's the best for me and the baby.


I guess your two pounds more are food weight, for sure


I really hope you find some strenght and will manage it.

Let me know soon

sent from my Oneplus 6 using Tapatalk

I know your not doing this on purpose but your coming across as rude in 2 ways, lovely in all the others, but How are you going to say this might be cruel but..... when I clearly am already thinking about if I can do this or not. That’s like saying no offense but.....
It’s rude af

Also how can you say my 2 pounds were not from food weight, I’m only 7 weeks. It was food weight btw. The 2 pounds are gone and I’m back to my lw :)
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#13 420forever

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Posted 24 July 2019 - 10:49 PM

The doctor also said it was ok if I smoked weed for my mental sanity. She says she doesn’t recommend it cus there aren’t enough studies done to know if there are good or bad effects but lots of her patients smoke. So I smoked once last night and a bit tonight. I feel so much better.
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#14 LadyBastet

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Posted 25 July 2019 - 06:10 AM

I guess you misunderstood my "food weight" concept. I interpret the words "food weight" as the weight you gain when you eat too much one day and the day after you still have in your belly basically retention and poop. This weight just goes away easily.
I'm not english mother tongue so maybe I don't get it well, but to me one thing is "food weight", another is "fat weight" (the last meaning you really have gained REAL weight).

Hope I let you understand better what I meant

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#15 420forever

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Posted 25 July 2019 - 11:15 PM

I guess you misunderstood my "food weight" concept. I interpret the words "food weight" as the weight you gain when you eat too much one day and the day after you still have in your belly basically retention and poop. This weight just goes away easily.
I'm not english mother tongue so maybe I don't get it well, but to me one thing is "food weight", another is "fat weight" (the last meaning you really have gained REAL weight).

Hope I let you understand better what I meant

I don’t still because when you said ‘I’m sure your 2 pounds are more than food weight” you were meaning they were fat weight. Either way you were wrong thank goodness. I’m back to 109.4 so it was just food weight.

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#16 420forever

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Posted 26 July 2019 - 06:34 PM

I’m losing weight without even trying :) I mean just a pound. I’ve been eating more than before too:) this isn’t my Ed it’s ....idk. But I’m happy 108.6!

#17 420forever

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 12:03 AM

I’m so bloated and I haven’t eaten a lot to deserve this :(

#18 mythics

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 09:41 AM

Heyo, I too am struggling with cannabis smoking as I use it for physical pain as well as anxiety. I've been trying to cut down and switch exclusively to vaporizing and edibles. Have you tried vaping concentrates or flower? (Sorry dunno where you're located, it's legal where I live so readily accessible). I have a Pax 2 and I absolutely love it, although I may upgrade as a treat to myself.

burned.


#19 420forever

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Posted 28 July 2019 - 12:05 AM

Heyo, I too am struggling with cannabis smoking as I use it for physical pain as well as anxiety. I've been trying to cut down and switch exclusively to vaporizing and edibles. Have you tried vaping concentrates or flower? (Sorry dunno where you're located, it's legal where I live so readily accessible). I have a Pax 2 and I absolutely love it, although I may upgrade as a treat to myself.


I’m in Massachusetts so it’s legal. I would love a pax omg but I’m so broke. I have flowers and my husband thinks a vape is worse than flowers so he hides it from me. It makes me absolutely bonkers.
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#20 420forever

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Posted 28 July 2019 - 12:05 AM

107.6 today :)


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