Pregnancy diary - Page 4 - Pregnancy - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

Pregnancy diary


  • Please log in to reply
99 replies to this topic

#61 MissySkinny

MissySkinny

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 97 posts

Posted 08 October 2019 - 02:52 PM

I gained a total of 50 lbs with both of my kids. I avoided ephedra,tanning,starving,drinking...all for the sake of my kids.They only had a short time to live in my body wasn't fair for me to deprive them and make them 'hungry' maybe even kill them..just because I had to look good. If you are gonna be a mother,your sacrifices are just beginning. Because you LOVE your kid.Hell...use it as an excuse to eat whatever you want and keep it down!!!

So worth it once you meet that little alien  :D  :D  :P  :P  :wub:


  • Teatrix likes this

HW 183

CW 129.9

GW 95

LW 95

 

Height 4'11

 

 

Where's my collarbone?


#62 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 10 October 2019 - 11:23 AM

129.0 without a shower or coffee (which brings about more bms) everyday my weight is a range ah! I’m not gonna say I lost until I see 126. And to think 125 is my gw by Halloween?
I have been laxing nearly everyday too. It’s like the only thing I can do after I eat 2,000+ cals like I do everyday.
Yesterday I woke up and my husband made us nachos so right off the bat restricting and monoing was off the table. God I want to egg mono so bad but god so much will power...

#63 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 10 October 2019 - 12:05 PM

I gained a total of 50 lbs with both of my kids. I avoided ephedra,tanning,starving,drinking...all for the sake of my kids.They only had a short time to live in my body wasn't fair for me to deprive them and make them 'hungry' maybe even kill them..just because I had to look good. If you are gonna be a mother,your sacrifices are just beginning. Because you LOVE your kid.Hell...use it as an excuse to eat whatever you want and keep it down!!!
So worth it once you meet that little alien :D :D :P :P :wub:


That’s sweet ❤️

#64 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 11 October 2019 - 10:40 AM

I’m not weighing today cus I fucked up massively yesterday
I fasted until work , around 2pm then I downed a bunch of cookies and this pb rice lrispoe stuff till my stomach hurt.
I figured over 1,000 cals-then I had a 200 cal soup and then much later I had like 500 In chips and then I got home and had popcorn and veggies!
I’m gonna try to egg mono today :/

-I weighed after tea &coffee and was 127.6-was happy n surprised
-weighed after shower..129.8
Yikes idk
I’m so tired. It’s 1pm, woke around 11am. Got work soon. Haven’t decided if I’m gonna do a green pea, egg, or tuna mono. I’m not hungry at all but I know if I don’t eat before work I’ll ruin my day again.

#65 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 12 October 2019 - 12:48 PM

Yesterday I made it til passed 10pm on a tuna mono under 200 calories.
Then my husband bought chips and made quacamole so I ate that.(600)
Then I had a whole big tub of yogurt(600)
Still normally less than I have both days...1,500 yikes normally I’m around 2,300 which is the amount my Fitbit says I burn

I’m about to head to work 2-10, I already had 600ish calories and I feel soooooo fat.

I didn’t lax last night for once and still had a bm. Not as much but. My scale first said 121 and I knew it was wrong and it said 126 which I was happy with l. Then it said 127 and I was like okay then it said 129 lol idk if it was all in that order lol. Crazy.

#66 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:17 AM

Saw 131 on the scale.
Thinking about monos and fasting today
I won’t let myself buy anything I will binge on anymore.

#67 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 15 October 2019 - 11:02 AM

3rd night in a row not taking lax and had 2 bms!
I had like 3 small apple last night tho. Also some cheese w mustard lol. Oh and a salad w mayo and mustard lmao:/ at work I had a slice of cake :( which I was like okay it’s def under 1,000 cals so if I bet good the rest of the day I’ll be fine-then I had some bites of biscotti then some bites of a bagel. I really gotta work I’m keeping myself full of water at work.
Already had a few gummies and it’s exactly noon.
This Friday is when my husband goes away til Sunday and I have freedom to fast or mono but I really am thinking how bad those are for the baby and stuff :( I do feel guilty.

Oh ps was 129 and 128 on the scale so goodbye 131:)

#68 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 16 October 2019 - 10:38 AM

128.6 for some reason I’m happy about it cus I didn’t see 129,130-but fuck I just need to get to 125!!!!!

Yesterday before I work had 2 apples, a cheese stick and a slice of bread w mustard :3 then I got to work and started to have some cookies so I took a break, made myself a big salad and ya! When I got home from work I had 2 more apples, carrots and Olive dip and a slice of pita :)

#69 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 17 October 2019 - 12:25 PM

128.8-130.0 range today :/ I hate seeing 130. I’m 18 weeks and some days pregnant

#70 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 18 October 2019 - 11:01 AM

131.2 without a bm, I ate Mac and cheese last night as a past supper type deal before I begin my mono/fast for the next three days until Sunday night. I got this

#71 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 19 October 2019 - 09:02 AM

Yesterday around 5pm I had 5 eggs and 1 tsp of mayo
When I got home from work around the hours 10pm-12pm I had 4 eggs, cheese, and loads of hot sauce. Idk if I lost or not
I did have a bm
I had loads of diet soda tho,
And a lot of coffee and 1.5 liters of water.
I was 131.something and I think after my bm it was def lower but still 131
I had a cup of coffee w almond milk and I’m out of the house for awhile so I’ll decide my plan soon

#72 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 20 October 2019 - 11:29 AM

Yesterday I fasted on coffee, almond milk, cream, water & gaterade zero

Back to 128.6 at least
I even cheated and had 3 pickles and some kimchi
I had a headache all last night tho and still have it today
I’m starting a chocolate mono, already had nearly 500 cals of milk chocolate. Filled up on it. Hope I don’t binge out at work and stick to the plan and see another loss tomorrow

My husband will be coming home tonight so it’s the end of the games:(

#73 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 21 October 2019 - 10:24 AM

So I tried chocolate monoing but failed:/
I had 150ish g at noon and then snacked in less than 99g from 2-5 and felt pretty full. I had a headache but I think it’s from fasting the day before. Then I remembered this minestrone soup I had for only 200 cals and I wanted it soooo bad so I stopped eating until 9pm. My bones and muscles felt not great but I made it through my work shift.
When I got home my husband opened up some goldfish I had stupidly bought, s’mores flavor and pizza flavor. So I had some :/ then I had my soup. I definitely had around the same amount of calories that I burned

When I weighed first I was 129.2 and wasn’t too shocked but then I was 128.0 and I was shocked.

Then I had some coffee and a bm and now I’m still 128.0!!!
So I conclude that as the correct number meaning I lost .6 with a failed chocolate mono!!! Since I have leftover chocolate I want to try again today but I’m gonna wait a bit before commiting to that although silly me wanted to pizza mono today aka restrict w pizza lol

#74 mochroi

mochroi

    Omniscient

  • Supporter
  • 2862 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 21 October 2019 - 04:21 PM

Just read through all your posts. I'm so so sorry that you're struggling so much :/ I've found it's really hard to come on MPA while pregnant because the pregnancy forum is just a desert... it's a pretty isolating experience.

But I hope you can find the drive to keep yourself healthy, for baby's health of course, but also for you and your new family life. You're only a couple of weeks behind me, so feel free to message me if you need support xx

(PS: You're still tiny ok? And I've no doubt at all that you'll easily lose everything you've gained when baby is born )

Sent from my CPH1851 using Tapatalk

While the branches are breaking


You can't help mistaking the forest for the trees

 

24, female, 5'8.5/174cm

 

HW: 165lbs/75kgs | BMI: 24.77

LW: 119lbs/54kgs | BMI: 17.84

 

CW: 141lbs/64kgs | BMI: 21.14

 

GW1: 137lbs/62kgs | BMI: 20.48

GW2: 132lbs/60kgs | BMI: 19.82

GW3: 128lbs/58kgs | BMI: 19.16

GW4: 123lbs/56kgs | BMI: 18.50

GW5: 119lbs/54kgs | BMI: 17.84

GW6: 115lbs/52kgs | BMI: 17.18

UGW: 110lbs/50kgs | BMI: 16.51


#75 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 22 October 2019 - 10:52 AM

Last night was horrible. Yesterday was horrible. I had planned to chocolate mono so I had like 1,700 cals in chocolate and was still hungry and there were free almonds in the break room so I figured a few won’t hurt. So I had some. Then I branched our to chocolate almond milk and chocolate almond milk pudding. Was still confident mono might pull through. Then at the end of work I was insanely craving food food and made myself a small salad of cheese, cucumber, olives and oils...ate it like an animal. Then I got a free slice of pizza and ate that crazy too. I got home and my husband had friends over who wanted to go out to eat, whew went to tasty burger and I demolished a veggie burger and large order of onion rings. Then I got a fucking milkshake. On the way home it began to sink in how fat I felt, all my clothes felt tight and especially my bra. I refuse to buy size large for anything, but I think I do belong in a size large bra now. My circumference is so wide now.
I wonder how much I’ll gain. Almost halfway there...so maybe another 20:( 150 isn’t horrible and I can loose again it just sounds so gross. I’m still tryna loose before my next doctors apt/ultrasound in 8 days!! Or at least maintain. My weight was 130 again this morning :( I’m gonna have to fast 2 more days to get to 126-125 Ish which sounds nice. I miss being 119:( I don’t even care about my lw of 106-109
I think I’m starting to feel the baby move sometimes now but I can’t tel if it’s baby or random tickles and itches. I have the next 2 days off from work so I need a plan. Fml
  • mochroi likes this

#76 mochroi

mochroi

    Omniscient

  • Supporter
  • 2862 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 23 October 2019 - 06:45 PM

I've had so many days like that. Including yesterday - mine included a milkshake too, and potato gems with cheese, on top of all my meals. It's ok. This is the one time in your life where you really have the right to go easy on yourself with eating. Baby would have got lots of good nutrients from the almonds and the veggie burger Also I think I've gone up a bra size too - it's not fat that makes that happen! You're literally growing extra breast tissue.

You probably did feel movement! I was feeling niggles from about 16 weeks, and it's very obvious now. Any day now you'll know for sure

Sent from my CPH1851 using Tapatalk

While the branches are breaking


You can't help mistaking the forest for the trees

 

24, female, 5'8.5/174cm

 

HW: 165lbs/75kgs | BMI: 24.77

LW: 119lbs/54kgs | BMI: 17.84

 

CW: 141lbs/64kgs | BMI: 21.14

 

GW1: 137lbs/62kgs | BMI: 20.48

GW2: 132lbs/60kgs | BMI: 19.82

GW3: 128lbs/58kgs | BMI: 19.16

GW4: 123lbs/56kgs | BMI: 18.50

GW5: 119lbs/54kgs | BMI: 17.84

GW6: 115lbs/52kgs | BMI: 17.18

UGW: 110lbs/50kgs | BMI: 16.51


#77 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 23 October 2019 - 08:43 PM

Today was horrible and I don’t mean food wise. I’m sick of typing it out but I ran out of the house and caused a scene cus in saw my husband whispering to his mom
About my stomach. I was very dramatic. His mom is old and sick and I worried her so I feel like shit but I was saying I wanted an abortion and she was very mad and I was saying I can’t handle it, gaining weight. She was mad and blah blah blah. I ran away for a bit and tried to purge my Mac and cheese I had had earlier but it didn’t work so I took a stick and scratched myself up and my husband has seen 1/2 of it already and was upset. He made me pizza. So that’s my day diet today. Mac and cheese and pizza. Lmao kms

#78 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 24 October 2019 - 11:24 AM

128.8

#79 frothy

frothy

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 152 posts

Posted 24 October 2019 - 11:45 AM

I had a March baby and a May baby <3

 

You're doing so good, honey. 


  • 420forever likes this

#80 420forever

420forever

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1314 posts
  • LocationBoston

Posted 25 October 2019 - 12:24 PM

130.8
I can’t control my food. My body is not mine. My boobs are huge. I am uncomfortable. I’m scared. Trying to fast til 10pm but I think I’ve only done that twice these whole 6 months. Or maybe I should watch 100 cals at a time. But eating leads to more eating. Always. I have an ultrasound in 1 week so we’ll be able to see if my mental distress and eating sugar has stunted the baby and all.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users