3 replies to this topic

[Neverenoughtillidie]

My daughter is only 19 months and she already steps on the scale in the morning like mommy. She’s seen me purge, and obviously I don’t eat with her and if I do I purge it. I skip time with her to go to the gym. I’m a single mom technically, my fiancé and I will be married next May and he will be adopting her. I just feel ashamed because I don’t ever want my daughter to be in this.

I got through pregnancy without a relapse with anorexia and through her first year with no serious relapse because her bio dad was fighting me in court (he ended up giving everything away). Well I hit a hard relapse back in April and since she’s watched me drop weight and fall heavy into it. She obviously doesn’t know what it is but the moment I watched her step on the scale and say mommy look (she’s extremely smart and talker, also a mini me in all forms). I just don’t know why to think truly.

[*pause*]

A lot of kids like to see themselves grow. Maybe you could frame it as a good thing in her mind. Also it’s best if you can try to find a way to make sure she doesn’t see you performing disordered behavior.

[greenteavegan]

1. Seek help. Honestly. Make sure she is taken care of in case of emergency. Relepse always holds the potential of sudden health issues. Not to mention, right now you are still able to find some sort of help that you can incorporate in you life, not the other way around. I wish you all the best!
2. Stepping on the scale in itself is not bad. Compliment her on how she has grown and make a fuss. Maybe try not to weigh in front of her?
3. Can you try to celebrate eating with her a little? Maybe stick to your safe foods?

Just some ideas, I hope some of it may help. I know this is super hard! I get why you feel ashamed. But you feel ashamed because you love your daughter and want the best for her. Use that.

[notslimkindashady]

Never too early to start positive messages, even if you don't believe them or can't live them right now. She sounds very precocious...let her hear you talking about how important it is to be healthy, how food is fuel for our bodies, how stepping on the scale is just one part of being healthy, how important it is to be active, etc. And for the love of all that's holy please stop purging in front of her. If you absolutely cannot control yourself you need to put her safely in her crib for a few minutes or with another capable adult and do your business in private. That shit is incredibly toxic. We are allowed to be messed up, but it's also our job to protect our kids from unhealthy influences. Even when that influence is us.