What triggered/ motivated you extra today?
Posted 19 September 2019 - 04:49 PM
- NeverMeantToBelong, HyeIdk, MotionlessMin and 4 others like this
Posted 19 September 2019 - 07:13 PM
- Enthusiastic Turtle, dyingtobethinnxox, livilulu and 14 others like this
Posted 19 September 2019 - 07:44 PM
i'm gonna award myself with a nice trip (without leaving the house, wink wink) when i get to my next gw, only 2 pounds away!
- 123, littlebosleep, thinspo.girl and 5 others like this
Posted 19 September 2019 - 08:40 PM
- tyskinny, Maybe_I’m_CraJay, daintyeo and 2 others like this
Posted 20 September 2019 - 11:46 PM
"Square peg in round hole syndrome all the way! A constant blur of activity and motion characterized my high school years, starting at home-where I spent hours doing yard work, or helping my mother clean the house.
During my first two years of high school, I had gym every day, and also join the golf team as a sophomore. We weren't allowed to use golf carts, so we had to walk the entire course. The next year, I spent hours on my feet as a salad girl [this was when salad bars were in vogue in the 80s], among other jobs.
For all this exercise, I was was still fat. However back then I wasn't falling into the super sized category yet: I ate normal meals and had lots of movement. Magazines like Seventeen reflected a different reality: to have any prayer of getting a boyfriend, I had to be micro-miniature. All their clothes were sizes 3-5, a world that lay beyond me.
Somehow, these girls always had time for a boyfriend between their part-time jobs, perfect grades, flawless makeup, and shopping for an endless array of clothes to show off their lithe figures, with not an ounce of fat.
At school, a few girls were fatter then I, and a few more approached my weight. But the majority were blessed with thighs that magically never touched in the middle, their stomachs flat as a board, and blemish-free; and their necks were sinewy, and showed veins.
I saw the outline of clavicles in their shoulders, and the pelvic bones in their hips. Their bodies were so unlike my own, we might as well have been females of a different species!
In secret, I liked the curves of my own body, particularly my stomach. As an asthma free teenager, I could run around in 20 degree weather without a coat and barely feel it. Nowadays when the temperature dips that low, the heat is on high and I'm buried in blankets. I was stronger back then too: the ill health of college had not yet hit full force, teachers asked me to move heavy objects just like the boys, with whom I'd wrestle with and win at times.
Thinner girls though had a license to be carefree, happy-go lucky and most important vulnerable: I was none of these things. At home, I could relax a bit while hanging out with my siblings, in school, if I showed any weakness, I would have gotten squashed.
I wasn't anybody's girlfriend: people sought my advice with their problems or homework but never offered party invitations. Taking my weight out of the equation wouldn't have mattered: I went to a provincial upper-class high school-think of the one in The Breakfast Club but with the jocks in charge and the art kids pushed to the back of the bus and an even more fascist tinge. Annoying constant pep-rallies and Reaganomic politics provided the icing on the cake.
I was more interested in a good book then going to a basketball game, or buying makeup. Whenever my weight dipped from increased activity, the jokes changed from fat jokes to "Amazon"! [related to my near 6 foot height], "nerd", "bookworm" and ---funnily enough--since I was such a wallflower, "goody two-shoes".
Yet I knew all the popular girls puked to keep their figures trim after eating French Fries and 2 pizza squares [a disgusting lunch from the health angle]. My high school bathroom was a nightmare with it's ever pervasive odor of vomit.
Although seen as serious illnesses in the media, anorexia and bulimia garnered a strange respect at my high school: the biggest pukers always had the best reputations. On TV I watched these type of girls martyr themselves as they replayed stories about cutting celery into bite-sized pieces, fighting with their parents over half a sandwich, and fighting to remain under 90lbs for the big national gymnastics meet.
At least their starving earned merit badges as they mutated their bodies into fur-covered non-menstruating sticks, reminding me of saints I read about in Catholic school, who allegedly lived on on communion wafers and small sips of water.
On top of all that, endless books extolled the sufferings of these poor girls who couldn't eat a carrot stick for dinner to save their life! Somehow I was supposed to shed copious tears over The Best Little Girl in the World as it's heroine did many life-threatening exercises to avoid turning into me. Not to deny the seriousness of these problems, but Betty Bulimic and Annie Anorexic had school therapists, groups and parents to save them from the horrors of puking. No such books or movies existed on fat girls except one fat character in the book by Judy Blume called Blubber.
I continually heard the message of a life deferred, this will happen for you when you are the proper size. Talk about setting up false expectations."
- catwhisperer, Thinner092, yxoufv4 and 4 others like this
Posted 22 September 2019 - 07:56 PM
Waking up .8 lighter. It makes me so happy every time I see the number go down that I want that feeling everyday; so I restrict everyday.
- skinny.love360, Enchantedana17, Salad-Princess*^ and 7 others like this
SW 212 lbs
GW 1 190 Reached Sept 20th
GW 2 175
GW 150 lbs *new clothes*
GW 140 Lbs
GW 135 lbs *new clothes*
GW 120 lbs *new bikini*
GW 101 lbs *freedom from fat"
UGW 99 lbs
212 211 210 209 208 207 206 205 203 202 201 200 199 198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190 189 188 187 186 185 184 183 182 181 180 179178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 169 168
167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 149 148 147 146
145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128 127 126 125 124
123 122 121 120 119 118 117 116 115 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102
101 100 99
Posted 22 September 2019 - 09:29 PM
- StarStorme, youcantbuythin, 2BeThinEnough and 11 others like this
Posted 23 September 2019 - 07:48 AM
I just been hired and need to go in, and do the paperwork, but at the same time I am craving because of my period coming, and want to binge before I go, but I feel like it would make matters worst, and I would be worried on what the lady would say, I also don't want to faint or feel sick during this time, so that is another reason I want to eat something, and even with a doctor's note to give her excusing me from work because of my period, I am afraid of giving it to her, and her changing her mind, when one of the managers this morning, had said in a rude voice " I hope you will show up for work every day" so pretty much I am feeling triggered right to left and I can't wait till this day is over already!
Lowest Weight so far:104
Weight Before Period: 120 (Not my best weigh in but for now it will have to do, and with my period starting any day now, I am just going to try to restrict till it startst)
GW:100 (Or be able to fit in size 0 jeans, like before)
UGW:95 pounds or lower but not any lower then 90
Out of sight out of mind! ( My thoughts on hiding food)
Chocolate a moment on the lips, but a life time on the hips! Pasty Stone
Posted 23 September 2019 - 07:52 AM
I binged with my boyfriend all weekend and am now 5 pounds heavier than I was 2 days ago. So now I'm going to fast until I get back to my original weight
- thinspo.girl, unworthyliving, Who-Is-Coda? and 1 other like this
Age 21 | 5'6 | 166cm
GW1 110 Oct 3, 2019
Posted 23 September 2019 - 08:09 AM
- unworthyliving, insomni, uwumamii and 5 others like this
Posted 23 September 2019 - 08:28 AM
Motivated by fitting into my LW pants, though they're still a bit tighter than they were at my LW.
Had a maintenance day yesterday around 1900 calories, but I feel surprisingly okay about it because I didn't purge. Now I can go back to restriction, yay.
- daintyeo likes this
Height: 5' 9"
HW: 138 lb/BMI 20.4
LW: 114 lb/BMI 16.8
CW: 122.5 lb (2/16/2020)
Posted 23 September 2019 - 09:32 AM
“you can always just choose to be skinny”
i’ve repeated that everyday since then and it really has helped me restrict more and more
- youcantbuythin, HelloImAwkward, Angelfish13 and 19 others like this
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