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What triggered/ motivated you extra today?

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#21 Skinnyburd



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Posted 19 September 2019 - 04:08 PM

The scale saying the wrong thing this morning.
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#22 thin-is-love



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Posted 19 September 2019 - 04:12 PM

my friend looked who knows about my ed, looked at me whilst i ate a cheese and tomato panini. im so motivated to restrict this weekend, i just need to keep that feeling

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#23 soobsoob


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Posted 19 September 2019 - 04:49 PM

i've been on quite a binge-cycle for a while and i've decided that today is the Last Day of it. i'm hopefully going on my first kpop concert in a couple months,, so i need to look at least tolerable in front of my girls they're my biggest motivation since a while!! im happy (even tho im fat, ) hksjsjsjks0be2be8931e69f03fd4049a52dfbb214.gif
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#24 Increasing_Shame



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Posted 19 September 2019 - 07:13 PM

The old man that normally comes into my work place and says things like "youre wasting away, you need to eat more!" Didnt say it today and it made me feel like i gained weight. Therefore, i must loss weight
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#25 whenusleep


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Posted 19 September 2019 - 07:44 PM

i put on a pair of swimming trunks and they already fit me much looser! i've been consistently losing for a few days, i might as well keep going!
i'm gonna award myself with a nice trip (without leaving the house, wink wink) when i get to my next gw, only 2 pounds away!
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SW: 145 CW: 122.4 GW1: 130 GW2: 120 GW3: 110 UGW: 105

#26 3k68a


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Posted 19 September 2019 - 08:40 PM

Currently trying to eat more and recover. Something that motivated me to keep going was seeing my finger tips turn blue and seeing my bloating stomach. Same things also triggered my ED thoughts oof.
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#27 Guest_TristanaLake_*

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Posted 20 September 2019 - 11:46 PM


"Square peg in round hole syndrome all the way! A constant blur of activity and motion characterized my high school years, starting at home-where I spent hours doing yard work, or helping my mother clean the house.

During my first two years of high school, I had gym every day, and also join the golf team as a sophomore. We weren't allowed to use golf carts, so we had to walk the entire course. The next year, I spent hours on my feet as a salad girl [this was when salad bars were in vogue in the 80s], among other jobs.

For all this exercise, I was was still fat. However back then I wasn't falling into the super sized category yet: I ate normal meals and had lots of movement. Magazines like Seventeen reflected a different reality: to have any prayer of getting a boyfriend, I had to be micro-miniature. All their clothes were sizes 3-5, a world that lay beyond me.

Somehow, these girls always had time for a boyfriend between their part-time jobs, perfect grades, flawless makeup, and shopping for an endless array of clothes to show off their lithe figures, with not an ounce of fat.

At school, a few girls were fatter then I, and a few more approached my weight. But the majority were blessed with thighs that magically never touched in the middle, their stomachs flat as a board, and blemish-free; and their necks were sinewy, and showed veins.

I saw the outline of clavicles in their shoulders, and the pelvic bones in their hips. Their bodies were so unlike my own, we might as well have been females of a different species!

In secret, I liked the curves of my own body, particularly my stomach. As an asthma free teenager, I could run around in 20 degree weather without a coat and barely feel it. Nowadays when the temperature dips that low, the heat is on high and I'm buried in blankets. I was stronger back then too: the ill health of college had not yet hit full force, teachers asked me to move heavy objects just like the boys, with whom I'd wrestle with and win at times.

Thinner girls though had a license to be carefree, happy-go lucky and most important vulnerable: I was none of these things. At home, I could relax a bit while hanging out with my siblings, in school, if I showed any weakness, I would have gotten squashed.

I wasn't anybody's girlfriend: people sought my advice with their problems or homework but never offered party invitations. Taking my weight out of the equation wouldn't have mattered: I went to a provincial upper-class high school-think of the one in The Breakfast Club but with the jocks in charge and the art kids pushed to the back of the bus and an even more fascist tinge. Annoying constant pep-rallies and Reaganomic politics provided the icing on the cake.

I was more interested in a good book then going to a basketball game, or buying makeup. Whenever my weight dipped from increased activity, the jokes changed from fat jokes to "Amazon"! [related to my near 6 foot height], "nerd", "bookworm" and ---funnily enough--since I was such a wallflower, "goody two-shoes".

Yet I knew all the popular girls puked to keep their figures trim after eating French Fries and 2 pizza squares [a disgusting lunch from the health angle]. My high school bathroom was a nightmare with it's ever pervasive odor of vomit.

Although seen as serious illnesses in the media, anorexia and bulimia garnered a strange respect at my high school: the biggest pukers always had the best reputations. On TV I watched these type of girls martyr themselves as they replayed stories about cutting celery into bite-sized pieces, fighting with their parents over half a sandwich, and fighting to remain under 90lbs for the big national gymnastics meet.

At least their starving earned merit badges as they mutated their bodies into fur-covered non-menstruating sticks, reminding me of saints I read about in Catholic school, who allegedly lived on on communion wafers and small sips of water.

On top of all that, endless books extolled the sufferings of these poor girls who couldn't eat a carrot stick for dinner to save their life! Somehow I was supposed to shed copious tears over The Best Little Girl in the World as it's heroine did many life-threatening exercises to avoid turning into me. Not to deny the seriousness of these problems, but Betty Bulimic and Annie Anorexic had school therapists, groups and parents to save them from the horrors of puking. No such books or movies existed on fat girls except one fat character in the book by Judy Blume called Blubber.

I continually heard the message of a life deferred, this will happen for you when you are the proper size. Talk about setting up false expectations."
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#28 Give~me~wings



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Posted 22 September 2019 - 07:56 PM

Waking up .8 lighter. It makes me so happy every time I see the number go down that I want that feeling everyday; so I restrict everyday.

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Height 5'2

SW 212 lbs

LW 127

GW 1 190 Reached Sept 20th

GW 2 175

GW 160

GW  150 lbs *new clothes* 

GW 140 Lbs

GW 135 lbs *new clothes*

GW  120 lbs *new bikini*

GW 101 lbs *freedom from fat"

UGW 99 lbs


212 211 210 209 208 207 206 205 203 202 201 200 199 198 197 196 195 194 193 192 191 190

189 188 187 186 185 184 183 182 181 180 179178 177 176 175 174 173 172 171 170 169 168 

 167 166 165 164 163 162 161 160 159 158 157 156 155 154 153 152 151 150 149 148 147 146 

 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 135 134 133 132 131 130 129 128 127 126 125 124 

  123 122 121 120 119 118 117 116 115 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102

101 100 99 


#29 ghostofnothing



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Posted 22 September 2019 - 07:58 PM

"You don't look like you anymore. What's wrong?" 

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"You keep saying that I'm not like me anymore. Who am I then?"

#30 RileeTrash


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Posted 22 September 2019 - 08:33 PM

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#31 Blondie12345


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Posted 22 September 2019 - 09:29 PM

Went out to dinner with coworkers and my freaking gorgeous, perfectly sized and in shape cohort ate about 6 bites of salad and said she was stuffed. Instantly asked for a box even though I’d been saving my calories all day for the outing. 😞
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#32 NopeTime


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Posted 22 September 2019 - 09:37 PM

Looking at pictures from my relapses and times I recovered.
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​Yeet me into my relapse, again.

#33 Fatcat1971



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Posted 23 September 2019 - 06:48 AM

I wore heels today for the first time in forever. I forgot how flattering they are. I am totally pumped to get the last 3 lbs off. Hopefully by the end of next week.
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#34 Jade Stone12

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Posted 23 September 2019 - 07:48 AM

I just been hired and need to go in, and do the paperwork,  but at the same time I am craving because of my period coming, and want to binge before I go,  but I feel like it would make matters worst, and I would be worried on what the lady would say, I also don't want to faint or feel sick during this time, so that is another reason I want to eat something, and even with a doctor's note to give her excusing me from work because of my period, I am afraid of giving it to her, and her changing her mind, when one of the managers this morning, had said in a rude voice " I hope you will show up for work every day" so pretty much I am feeling triggered right to left and I can't wait till this day is over already!


Lowest Weight so far:104


Weight Before Period: 120 (Not my best weigh in but for now it will have to do,  and with my period starting any day now, I am just going to try to restrict till it startst)  :(


GW:100 (Or be able to fit in size 0 jeans, like before)
UGW:95 pounds or lower but not any lower then 90

Out of sight out of mind! ( My thoughts on hiding food)

Chocolate a moment on the lips, but a life time on the hips! Pasty Stone

#35 queenbubblgum


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Posted 23 September 2019 - 07:52 AM

I binged with my boyfriend all weekend and am now 5 pounds heavier than I was 2 days ago. So now I'm going to fast until I get back to my original weight

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Age 21 | 5'6 | 166cm


​HW 119

LW 99.2


SW 117

CW ​107.2


​GW1 ​110 Oct 3, 2019

GW2 107

GW3 103

GW4 100

GW5 97


​UGW​ 95

#36 Gemini 💫

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Posted 23 September 2019 - 08:09 AM

i work at a pizza place, and there is a super skinny girl that i work morning shift with and she says stuff like "oh i only ever eat when i'm at work" and she's like half the size of me and it makes me want to curl into a ball and cry
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#37 malnourished cat

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Posted 23 September 2019 - 08:28 AM

Motivated by fitting into my LW pants, though they're still a bit tighter than they were at my LW. 


Had a maintenance day yesterday around 1900 calories, but I feel surprisingly okay about it because I didn't purge. Now I can go back to restriction, yay. 

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Height: 5' 9"

HW: 138 lb/BMI 20.4

LW: 114 lb/BMI 16.8

CW: 122.5 lb (2/16/2020)




#38 xBloodyRoses


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Posted 23 September 2019 - 08:32 AM

Just last night I found a polaroid of myself when I was at a real high BMI... yeah I'm not eating today.

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cw: 115 lbs

gw: 99 lbs

ugw: 85 lbs


Instagram: Athena.Regend


#39 youcan'tsitwithus


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Posted 23 September 2019 - 09:16 AM

Finding out the work I fucking worked so hard on is shit and that I may fail my PhD.

Don’t deserve to eat

I suppose if I end up failing atleast I’ll be thin
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#40 ibrn2



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Posted 23 September 2019 - 09:32 AM

a couple days ago i mentioned to my boyfriend how i wish i was skinny. i know he didn’t mean anything bad, because he tells me how much he likes my body all the time, but he replied with

“you can always just choose to be skinny”

i’ve repeated that everyday since then and it really has helped me restrict more and more
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MARIE <3  :) 


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