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Chloe 2468


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#61 ColdChloe

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Posted 14 January 2020 - 02:01 PM

Tuesday January 14, 2020 200 calorie day!
 

I soooo badly want to weigh myself. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist for because I need to knoooowww. At the very least I will not weigh myself until my period is over.

 

Food Eaten

 

Around 1500



#62 ColdChloe

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Posted 15 January 2020 - 02:56 PM

jan 15+16 not good days 



#63 ColdChloe

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Posted 17 January 2020 - 01:52 PM

Friday January 17, 2020 800 calorie day!
 

I hate my bodyyy ahhh. I’m gonna scream and why do I keep weighing myself. Someone stop me.
 

Food Eaten

 

Tortilla - 120 calories
Sauce - 60 calories
Ham - 25 calories
Chips - 100 calories
Ice cream - 100 calories

 



#64 ColdChloe

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Posted 18 January 2020 - 07:38 PM

Saturday January 18, 2020 600 calorie day!
 

how do i stop weighing myself. 
 

Food Eaten

 

Tortilla - 60 calories
Sauce - 30 calories
Ham - 10 calories
Soup - 200 calories
I ate out (an estimate) - 300 calories
Candy - 150 calories



#65 ColdChloe

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Posted 22 January 2020 - 02:41 PM

so i'm back and basically i was eating "normal" but not really. i'm 103 lbs right now and pretty tired of restricting but eating food is also tiring. wtf do i do. i want to get better i want recovery but how can i when this is all i have left. my life is a mess, i'm failing all my classes and the only thing holding it together is restriction. i can't hit any other goals besides weight loss goals which i'm horrible at getting to as well. i have a feeling this might be the antidepressants making me feel like this because this is a supposed side effect but i feel pretty awful. i feel so helpless and i'm at a dead end. if i recover then i'll be nothing but right now im a nothing who likes restricting.

food eaten

nothing


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#66 ColdChloe

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Posted 23 January 2020 - 06:09 PM

102 lbs and i just went to an eating disorder clinic. i feel almost ready for recovery. im just not ready to give this up, will i be happy after recovery? 

Food eaten

900 calories



#67 ColdChloe

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Posted 24 January 2020 - 10:50 PM

excuse the formatting i'm doing rn i'm just not feeling it rn. but i went to the gym today and ate chips right after wtf is wrong with me lol. my eating disorder is robbing me, i have spent $300 on restriction food this month pls stop me. 

Fuhasdadh. i'm so doneeee i keep eating im so tired and i wanna eat normally but i don't want to eat normally because last time i ate normally it did not make me feel so normal. i'm gonna scream this is actual hell i hate food but i love food whyyyy. 

food eaten 

1000 calories
 



#68 ColdChloe

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Posted 26 January 2020 - 03:19 PM

Sunday January 26, 2020 
 

gonna get to double digits this week i have to. i also have doctors appointment on wednesday and probably gonna have to do more blood work. im so stressed about school and stuff i have homework but i don't really feel like doing it because starving myself will solve all my issues. yeah , im just gonna keep believing that ! gonna head to sleep now and not excited for school tmr but u know. 

goodnight! 
 

Food Eaten

 

Candy - 100 calories
Watermelon - 100 calories
Chips - 100 calories
Fries - 100 calories
Seaweed - 100 calories
Blueberries - 100 calories
Mushrooms - 50 calories

Total: 650 calories



#69 ColdChloe

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Posted 27 January 2020 - 12:35 PM

Monday January 27, 2020 

How the fuck am I heavier than yesterday? Stupid water weight now I’m gonna fast today whyyyy. I need double digits please I’m so close to underweight. Just a little more.

Nvm not fasting cause my mom told me I have to eat and she got mad at me for lying to her so if I eat then it’ll be fine.
 

Food Eaten

 

Fries - 70 calories
“Burger” - 30 calories
Mushroom - 50 calories
C/S Cookie - 20 calories

Total: 170 calories



#70 ColdChloe

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Posted 28 January 2020 - 01:19 PM

Tuesday January 28, 2020 

101.8. I’m restricting so why won’t my body listen to me. 7 lbs to underweight help. I have doctor tomorrow and I don’t have the skinny yet so what do I do.

I ate so much wtf. It's 7:05 and I've already consumed 405. I need to go exercise later this is not good I'm gonna be so fat tomorrow. Why didn't I restrict more on the weekends ughhhhhh. Also my antidepressants making my appetite so much smaller and now I'm considering diet pills because this is good. 
 

Food Eaten

 

Candy - 80 calories
Fiber bar - 90 calories
Chicken - 110 calories
Veggies - 60 calories
Egg - 80 calories
Seaweed - 30 calories
Ice cream - 40 calories
Chocolate - 200 calories 
Watermelon - 100 calories
 



#71 ColdChloe

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Posted 29 January 2020 - 02:03 PM

I’m currently at the doctor right now waiting for my turn and I will have to get weighed again.

I’m feeling extra fat today so I want to fast but my mom wants me to eat and she’ll get mad if I lie to her so I’ll just have a little bit of soup or something.

I want to see 100 lbs on my scale and then see 99. I’m so close I’m so close, I just need to work a little harder then I will reach my mini-goal then I can go for 94 lbs which is “underweight but not rlly”. It will make me happy, I know it will (ik it won’t but I’m gonna pretend) then my life will be pErFeCt and I won’t have to worry about anything else cause I will have sKinNy. I want RIBS!!!

i ate fries. i ate fries.

 why why why

Food Eaten

Fries - 500 calories
Candy - 80 calories
Veggies - 30 caloies
Watermelon - 100 calories



#72 ColdChloe

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Posted 30 January 2020 - 01:55 PM

102.2 what the fuck. I have cravings for everything and I hate me yay I’m so done I’m gonna eat so much today this isn’t gonna go well. I should just eat whatever and purge after then it will be fine. Pls help.

FUCK I ATE SO MUCH IM SO DONE WHY DIDNT ANYONR STOP ME I HATE ME I ATE SI MUCH LIKE WHY WHY IM GONNA EXPLODE FROM FULLNESS IDK HOW MANY CALORIES BUT I HATE ME.

#73 ColdChloe

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Posted 04 February 2020 - 01:30 PM

Ok so I’m back! I bought a bird impulsively and it made my ed thoughts go away temporarily - thought it was the antidepressants but I think it was just the bird.. ofc my weight went ^^^^ and now I’m even more stressed I hate me. 102.8 ahhhhhhh so unskinny, unsmall, unconfident and so un-everythingpositive.

Food Eaten

Nothing yet
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#74 ColdChloe

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Posted 10 February 2020 - 12:19 PM

Ahhhhhh omg I’m so fat why did I disappear for 2 weeks all my hard work is gone. > :( maybe I should get some diet pills because Im so bad at restricting like fr I’m so done.

Food Eaten

a lot


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#75 ColdChloe

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 11:05 PM

OK SO I HOPPED OUT FOR A BIT STOPPED TAKING MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND NOW I FEEL LIKE t r a s h : ))))))))) went to the hospital for suicidal thoughts then the socIALS WORKERS GOT INVOLVED AND I DONT EVEN NEED THEM CAUSE ITS NOT LIKE I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA DO ANYTHING. my life will be put back together once i restrict again 100% yes and other lies im gonna keep telling myself - will be back tuesday or else i will probably die from being fat. got a mirror in my room for my new house so guess whos gonna be more obsessed c:  ok have a good night/day 


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#76 taeyong’s bestie

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Posted 17 February 2020 - 07:01 AM

HEY GIRL you’ve been going thru the mostest, i’m so sorry about that you’re probably mentally AND physically exhausted too at this point - i’m wishing you the best of luck and i’m looking forward to seeing you on tuesday


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#77 ColdChloe

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Posted 20 February 2020 - 02:06 AM

HEY GIRL you’ve been going thru the mostest, i’m so sorry about that you’re probably mentally AND physically exhausted too at this point - i’m wishing you the best of luck and i’m looking forward to seeing you on tuesday


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omgg hey queen !! ty ur so supportive and everything ahhh ur so sweet i'm late cause its not tues anymore but i should be able to come back tmr if everything goes to plan c:



#78 ColdChloe

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Posted 20 February 2020 - 02:57 PM

So I’m back!! Wow yes I feel like 💗s 💖 h 💕i 💘 t 💞 but im ready to restrict again. Also I might be starting recovery next week bUT nooo I’m not ready I’m not skinny enough to recover aHhhhhh. I need to eat less eat less if I eat less I’ll be skinny and happy then all my problems will solve themselves I’ll get good grades I’ll have friends I’ll have money I’ll be happy I juST NEED SKINNY and I’ll be happy please :c !! Unless I’m actually just going through a phase and I don’t have an ed and am just faking it for attention omg why do I do this to me I’m so stupid but I would be less stupid if I was skinny UGH

Also back on antidepressants cause they make rlly good appetite suppressants 💀

Food Eaten

Gum - 3 calories

#79 ColdChloe

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Posted 22 February 2020 - 02:21 PM

so uhhh that didn't work my mom is closely watching my eating and i tried to not eat but she keeps making me eat so oops. i might just have to start purging again :c but i will be back after recovery attempt because my dumbass still isnt ready to recover so yeah but maybe if it works then it works!! :') 



#80 ColdChloe

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Posted 25 February 2020 - 11:43 PM

Ok didn’t work... i feel so bad for being back so soon whoops. My appointment with the dietician and psychiatrist isn’t until the 26th of next month so I have one month to left to kill my body lets do this >>>>:c no scales for the rest of the month and every time I eat over my calorie limit I will idk but I need to control myself I hate me ugh. I got a mirror for my room so now I’ll know how fat I am ughehehehahahha ok see u soon after I eat all of the food I have left in my house in one sitting and call it ReCoveRy !!!
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